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DS1 - conversation about Aspergers - one of those light bulb moments...

9 replies

sphil · 24/02/2009 11:02

Took DS1 and DS2 for an OT assessment yesterday - it was an informal one, so she didn't use any standardised tests, but she's is pretty sure DS1 is dyspraxic (something we've always suspected). DS1 was reading a pamphlet about AS while he was waiting for DS2 to be assessed, and when we were travelling back in the car he had a long conversation with us about autism and Aspergers. It culminated in him saying that he thinks he has "some bits" of Aspergers (again, something we've long suspected, but we've never mentioned it to him or talked about it when he's been in earshot).

So we said, well you might have - and told him about the OT's informal dx of dyspraxia. We explained how the two often cross over (our car windows are now completely smudged where I was drawing diagrams of the autistic spectrum!). He seemed very happy and reassured to have a possible explanation of his 'difference' - something he's been mentioning more and more lately. The conversation was entirely driven by him - as some of you know I've always shied away from talking about these issues with him as I was worried he would compare himself to DS2 (who is severely autistic).

I'd like to get him a book which is positive about AS/dyspraxia - written from a child's point of view if poss., though it doesn't have to be.I know people always recommend 'Martian in the Playground' and 'Freaks, Geeks..' - but the titles of those really put me off and I think would put off DS1 too -he's not old enough to see the irony in Luke Jackson's title.
Any ideas? He's 7.5 but reads at 9+ year old level.

And btw - I know I may be jumping the gun, as he's only self-diagnosed. But even if he turns out not to get a formal dx, he is definitely an 'Aspie type'. And he has two friends with AS, so it will help him to understand them as well. TIA

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coppertop · 24/02/2009 11:38

Ds1 liked the Kenneth Hall book (I think he was about 10 when he wrote it). I had to pick bits out for him though as some descriptions in the book were exactly like ds1 but others were almost the opposite to him.

I love your description of the smudged car windows with the diagrams on.

sphil · 24/02/2009 14:16

I know! He was asking such questions - 'How are Aspergers and autism connected?'
'What's the weakest form of autism you can have?' etc etc.

I've just looked inside that book on Amazon and it looks exactly right for DS1 - he talks in a very similar tone to Kenneth Hall. And all that stuff about remembering things before he was born and having a special mission is very DS1 too . Thanks for recommending it - on order already (with Tony Attwood for good measure).

Do you know, I feel a real sense of relief.

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coppertop · 25/02/2009 13:13

Good luck with the book. I hope your ds gets as much out of it as my ds did.

troutpout · 25/02/2009 13:25

We like 'All cats have Aspergers' in our house. It's just pictures with 1 sentence underneath each one.
Ds also found the Kenneth Hall book useful.

Niecie · 25/02/2009 13:31

Its really good that he is so positive about his differences and that he is quite happy to accept them.

My DS1 also has a mixture of AS and dyspraxia and although he knows about the dyspraxia part (he has OT sessions at school so that part is pretty obvious) he doesn't really know about the AS as yet. Partly that is my fault because I am not entirely comfortable about his dx and partly because I haven't found a book that talks about AS in a way that sounds like DS so I think that it could all get a bit confusing for him. I will have a look at coppertops recommendation too.

I have a book called Can I tell you about Aspergers Syndrome by Jude Welton which is written from the point of view of a child telling friends and families about the condition. It is written in child sized print and is quite short. The blurp on the cover says it is written for children aged 7 to 15. Great for describing AS.

TallulahToo · 25/02/2009 13:45

Would love to find the right book but really am not sure that it exists because the condition is such a wide spectrum there really can't be a one size fits all book.

My DS is now 8 and diagnosed as ASD but also treated as dyspraxic. Also has a very high reading age.

The formal dx was something we agreed we would do when the whole family, him included, were ready.

This came last year after he came home one day and asked, in a very matter of fact way, "Am I normal?"

We have since had various conversations with him and had the support of the local autism awareness team come into school. BUT, do you know what, he doesn't really need any more info, he just wanted a name for it and is actually very proud to be autistic - asks other kids if they would like to be autistic because he knows how and can give them some pointers! We've found that the "drip effect" seems to suit our DS best alongside lots of work on his confidence.

TallulahToo · 25/02/2009 13:47

Sorry, realise I may sound a little spectrum like too! Just frustrated today - send my apologies to you I'm away on another planet today.

Niecie · 25/02/2009 14:35

Your post sounded OK to me

I share your frustration at not being able to find the right book that sounds even remotely like my DS, not as far as AS goes anyway.

sphil · 25/02/2009 23:02

Sounded fine to me too - in fact made me smile as your attitude and your DS's are so similar to ours! He hasn't mentioned it at all since Monday - but has been very happy!

I think the All Cats Have Aspergers book must have been the one DS1 was reading in the waiting room - I thought it was a pamphlet but DH told me later it was 'a book about cats'

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