Not sure which forum to put this in but figured that somebody might have some good advice here. Apologies in advance if this is a long post.
My 20 year old sister was diagnosed as a child with Aspergers and ADD. I must admit I do not know a lot about it except what my mother and her have told me and what I have read in publications/articles myself. There is an 8 yr age gap between us and I left home not long after her diagnosis so I apologise for not being very clued up.
After attending a specialist school until she was 18 my sister has been at a college for young adults with learning difficulties. My sister is very bright and articulate but has some difficulty in social situations and has very low self esteem. She is currently living in a flat which she seems very happy with, she is thriving and has become more independent. She has the support of a houseparent who is on call should she need them but who allows her to be independent to an extent.
Last week she called our mother to tell her she was pregnant. Our mum does not deal well with other people's problems (a whole other post I wrote a long time ago on here) and immediately asked me to call my sister and "sort things out". Turns out my sister is around 8 weeks pregnant and although pleased she is very scared about what the outcome will be. Her boyfriend is also a student at her college and also has aspergers. Apparently the college know they are in a sexual relationship and have giving them sex education talks which they chose to ignore and according to my sister they have planned this baby and have been having unprotected sex for the past year.
My sister is scared because she was told by her social worker that if she were to have a baby it would be taken away from her, something which my (retired social worker) mother in law has told me is unlikely but obviously I don't know what the opinion of social services would be. I want to support her as best I can but don't know where to start.
Another problem is her college is 50 miles away from us so my sisters' social worker and other key support is based in another place/council. I have spoken to my mum about how best to help but she is wrapped up in how she is feeling about it all herself. My mother in law has recommended my sister finds herself an independent advocate so I am trying to find out how to do that.
My sister said the college will throw her out (and leave her homeless) if they find out she is expecting as it happened to her friend. I'm not sure how much of this is true or if it's what she has been told will happen. For the moment she is keeping it quiet at college although she said the college nurse knows and she is going to her GP this week. I'm not even sure if the nurse has to keep this info to herself, is there any confidentiality in this case if my sister is considered to have difficulties?
Sorry if I have not made much sense or if the details are sketchy, I am having a hard enough time dealing with my own children and the process we are going through with CAHMS for my son so to have all this on top of it is really hard to handle, but I have to be there for my sister and her boyfriend as they seem to have no other support and I will do whatever it takes to make sure they are ok.
Can anyone suggest how I can help them? Or what agencies they can get in touch with for support?
Thanks in advance.