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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Why on earth would this put people off?

21 replies

Thunderduck · 22/02/2009 16:24

An online friend of mine, whom I've met up with a few times has a 7 year old dd who has Downs Syndrone. She is the most gorgeous, mischevious and charming child.

She goes to ballet and adores it,my friend stays and helps out as there are also another 2 children with special needs there.

Recently a mother who was considering sending her dd to the dance school was having a look around it, and friend's dd went to greet her during break, chatting non stop wanting to tell her about it, she thinks everyone is her friend.

She was completely ignored, and made the ''cat's bum face'' as Riven calls it.

My friend later heard the mother saying to the dance teacher, I wouldn't have wasted my time if I'd known you allow ''those'' children, pointing to friend's dd to join the class. I won't be back.

Why on earth would anyone be put off using a class because there are children with special needs there? And why on earth do people think it's acceptable to make such nasty ignorant comments, and this was within hearing range of friend's dd?

OP posts:

5inthebed · 22/02/2009 16:28

She obviously has a pfb and things its contagious. Cheeky cow!

Original poster

Thunderduck · 22/02/2009 16:55

BTW The evil mother made the cat's bum face not friend's dd.

OP posts:

Tclanger · 22/02/2009 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amber32002 · 22/02/2009 17:06

Good grief...I'd rather be in a ballet class with that splendid young lady than with that mother, that's for sure. How unspeakably rude and ignorant.

TinySocks · 22/02/2009 17:11

Your friend must have been so hurt by that comment.
I thought people like this woman didn't exist anymore (sounds like an attitude from last centuary). Really very ignorant.

Original poster

Thunderduck · 22/02/2009 17:14

She was hurt, as was her dd when she was completely ignored.

My friend is incredibly angry now, but was too hurt and taken aback at the time to feel anger.

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 22/02/2009 17:14

How awful - I didn't think people like that existed any more either

Tclanger · 22/02/2009 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Thunderduck · 22/02/2009 17:18

The dance teacher did say good when she said she wouldn't be back, saying I was about to tell you not to come back, we don't want someone with your attitude here.

The DT has a son with cp.

OP posts:

Tclanger · 22/02/2009 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

intheLiffey · 22/02/2009 18:53

nasty woman

PheasantPlucker · 22/02/2009 19:10

Hooray for the teacher

Mitchell81 · 22/02/2009 19:32

I would be devastated if some ignorant women had said that about my DD.

troutpout · 22/02/2009 20:45

Doesn't surprise me at all
One of the new mothers at school said (at a pta meeting) that she didn't see why her child should have to share the teacher with a child with special needs.
She only knew me through my younger child (who is nt) and had no idea that i had an older child with special needs at the same school.

intheLiffey · 22/02/2009 22:42

trout, I get this too. My youngest dc is mildly autistic, but will start mainstream at five and a half. He has a statement and the headmaster is fine, really supportive. But one woman I know could hardly hide her relief that my son now won't be in her daughter's class. She asked supposedly in a neutral and reasonable tone of voice as though she were just idly wondering, "how does that impact on the rest of the class?".

I managed to calmly say that it would probably be in their interest as my son might get a the school an extra teaching assistant becuase of his statement, and it's all hands on deck.

Then I had to say to another listening mother that "no, that doesn't come out of the school's pot".

Tclanger · 22/02/2009 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

troutpout · 23/02/2009 09:10

So true tclanger.

intheLiffey · 23/02/2009 09:32

I have that gem up my sleeve now though Tclanger!! thnx

TinySocks · 23/02/2009 09:36

DS is due to start mainstream school in september, and reading all this is making me feel very nervious. Will try to follow Tclanger's lead and not discuss details with anyone, but then how to you make friends with the other mums? I really would like DS to be included socially as much as possible, and I think I will need to help with that.

sarah293 · 23/02/2009 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

intheLiffey · 23/02/2009 09:46

Tinysocks, I only hear this because I have an older one at the school! I'd say it's better to be blissfully unaware.

I sympathise with you, having to go in as a first-timer with a child on the AS. Having an older dc gives me the confidence to ignore people, as I have a few friendly faces at the school gate iykwim.

I think tclanger's approach is best. Act as though your child as every right to be in the class. Don't ever apologise for his being there, or for his xn, don't discuss anything other than the normal stuff, until you know you have made a friend who you can trust and who has a heart and can sort the bollix from the facts!!! That will happen in time, I didn't want to scare anybody.

It's just better to wait a bit, get the measure of people's ignorance or hopefully, awareness and understanding, before you tell them all about your child.

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