i dont want to give my son a lable but.....

[bigdonna]

my ds 11 has always been difficult well from 3 omnwards he finds it very hard to make friends and keep them,he says inappropriate things he is very impulsive.He suffers with migraines,constipation,panic attacks,and can be very aggressive,he has no respect for his elders and can be very difficult.i cant get him to go to school now as he says everyone hates him.he is very bright but has always had problems at school with other kids in playground with him being rough.we are being referred to see a doctor,but other people keep saying he has asd.i have always just thought he is a difficult child with very challenging behaviour.i love him very much but sometimes dont like him.please has anyone any advice

sorry he is also very loving and sencitive

It is so difficult as sometimes asd can go with ADHD or all sorts of other conditions. I am no expert, but I do know a bit about asd. If he speaks normally, it would be aspergers not asd. Does he have any repetitive odd behaviours or obsessions - does he like things always to be the same? The affectionate thing is good, but I think personally it's a myth that autistic people aren't affectionate. My asd son is very much so, and so are all the autistic kids I have met. Does his language have anything odd or very formal about it? The fact that he says inappropriate things makes me think of aspergers, as sometimes those with aspergers don't quite get the social conventions of speech ( eg my DSD who has high functioning asd/aspergers did not know to look sad and stop talking at the graveside of a relative; she wasn't being uncaring, she just didn't "get" the social convention of keeping quiet, looking down, and not chatting when someone is being buried). I know much less about ADHD , but it's your use of the word "impulsive" that made me think of that. I'm sure others will be on to help. You can search the internet for symptoms of aspergers or adhd if that helps? It is tough though, I know.

He sounds very much like my DS who is 10 with AS. It wasn't picked up until he was 8, and until then I just though he was challenging. Now looking back, with the benefit of what I know now, it was blatantly obvious from about 4 or 5.

DS has repetative behaviour/obsessions. His interests are very narrow, are strange in focus (ie he had a phase where he was obsessed with lightbulds, and another where he learnt train timetables rote), and are very intense (he will follow it to the exclusion of everything else).

He's had big problems at school, has never managed to make or keep friends (something which doesn't bother him at all), or behave apropriately with his peers.

He's certinally not sensitive, in fact he's down right blunt/rude sometimes. He can be very affectionate but this HAS to be on his terms.

What are school doing to help your DS? Has he seen the ed psych? He could just be a stroppy 11 year old, but he could also be on the spectrum, so I would get him assessed.

sorry, I should have said if he had no delay in his speech it would be aspergers not asd, as that's my understanding one of the main differences

sorry i meant as not asd his speech is normal he has no obsessions except for football!!!!he stayed at his nans last week for the first time ever(he likes me to be in the same house normally) but came back early next morning.he seems to get really angry when everyone calls him names but he does the same.he gets angry over silly things.he cant cope in big social situations.as for the school they say he is fine ,but he will not go back there as he said no one likes him.we have been referred,he also suffered from anxiety and depression due to medication this had a big impact on him he still seems very depressed sometimes

thanks for your replies

sarah573 my son can be sencitive but can also be very rude too.He embarrasses me very often with his big mouth.