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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Feeling desperate : 3.5 yr old with ASD constantly hitting

11 replies

cluttercup · 12/02/2009 21:29

I'm posting this as I have just had two of the most awful days ever with my ds. He spent nearly 7 hours yesterday screaming, hitting out and generally being angry. We are seeing more and more of this hitting behaviour (usually targeted at me but starting to be levelled at his sister too.

The hitting starts whenever a boundary is set or he cannot have what he wants.

I am being advised by the so called professionals to "ignore, ignore, ignore" but it simply isn't working. I am tired, fed up and feeling pretty isolated. I am also desperately worried about how he will cope at school - we are applying for a statement which is an additional stress.

If anyone has any ideas to try, I am willing to give them a go.

(Bubblagirl - if you are reading this, I am sorry I haven't been in touch. I'm not in a very positive frame of mind at the moment!)

OP posts:

Cadelaide · 12/02/2009 22:55

Sounds hard cluttercup.

No experience but bumping for you.

TinySocks · 13/02/2009 06:30

Is there anything you can think of that you can use as an immediate consequence if he hits someone?

I think the point is in being really consistant and finding something that he will really dislike.

The bit I find hard is to actually find the correct consequence.

Tclanger · 13/02/2009 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tclanger · 13/02/2009 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

cluttercup · 13/02/2009 08:32

Thanks Tclanger - I will look at the book. Had a good nights sleep and am feeling a bit better - I sort of lost sight of the horizon for a while....

I'm going to see a friend for coffee (she also has a son with ASD) and I know she will make me feel better with tales of what her ds has been up to!

Tinysocks - my sister said the same as you but you're right. Finding the right consequence is really hard. My son seems not at all bothered if you take something away.

OP posts:

Tclanger · 13/02/2009 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

cluttercup · 13/02/2009 09:16

Interesting Tclanger - the friend I mentioned said that the 3.5 to 4.5 year stage is one you have to just survive because nothing seems to work however she also says that it does get better!

OP posts:

Tclanger · 13/02/2009 10:21

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TinySocks · 13/02/2009 10:28

DS just turned 4.... I'm counting the months! He doesn't hit, but very difficult at the moment!

Tclanger · 13/02/2009 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BriocheDoree · 13/02/2009 13:24

Interesting about the 3.5 to 4.5 thing...DD's behaviour definitely worst about 3.8 years and now at 4.7 she's really starting to calm down again!
We had a spate of pushing and what worked with DD was immediate removal (i.e. if it was at a playgroup, we went straight home) and if it was at home she went straight into her bed for five mins (she has a bunk bed with a tent on - it's her little bolthole). She eventually stopped doing it but I don't know if it was anything we'd done or just that she stopped. OTOH, she was smaller and easier to dominate physically at the time!

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