How can i get dd1 (as) to understand...

[Marne]

that a accident is an accident?

Today dd1 was knocked over at school and got very upset, it was an accident, the girl brushed past her and knocked her over, but when i try to explain this to dd1 she says 'it wasn't an accident because the girl shouldn't have been running past her so fast'.

Then tonite dd1 didn't make it to the toilet in time as she took to long to walk up the stairs with her bruised knee, she got very upset and i tried to explain that it was an accident and she said 'no it wasn't, the wee wee was men't to go in the loo but i didn't make it'.

Is there a way i can explain 'accidents' to her or will she always think that there is a logic reason behind each action?

bump

It's a hard one as children with AS don't see grey areas so it's either black or white. So they either did it on purpose or didn't and I think due to sensory issues obviously a brushing past will feel 100 x more painful to your dd.
Also these children misread social situations/cues.
Hope dd is feeling better x

I hope you don't mind me listening in - ds (9 asd/LD) is the polar opposite - everything he doesn't do deliberately (but should have taken precautions to avoid) is called an accident or ''its not my fault''! I cant get him to understand that the whole mug of tea he dropped on the lounge carpet was his fault because he should not have taken it in there in the first place. The wet pants are because he did not go to the loo earlier. He only sees that he did not intend to drop the cup/ wet his pants.
I think it is the same inability to see shades of culpability as your dd Marne - just swinging the other way.
I cannot get this across but am trying social stories.

was just going to suggest a social story, but magso beat me to it. one of the examples on this page is about making mistakes. perhaps you could adapt it and add pictures to make it more visual?

Ah RaggedRobin thanks! the making mistakes story makes the all important point that it is OK to make mistakes because (if for my son!) we learn from them! (Now how do I get him to learn from his mistakes)

Thanks RaggedRobin. Dd seems fine this morning after a good nights sleep.