M.I.L.'S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[misscutandstick]

OMG i could have swung for mine over the weekend...

"... and Barbara, well she looks after her granddaughter a lot, and shes only 2 {years} you know, and shes got her talking, but then she talks and reads to her all the time..."

so DS5 is 2.8 and non-verbal, so obviously i dont talk to him, at all.

NOT content with that, she repeated the whole damned conversation with DH! i think just to naff him off too!

ODL, what do we need these kinds of people for??? I have 5 sons im dreading them getting married and in turn turn me into one of those people who are completely insensitive, unkind, thoughtless, hopeless, time-wasting, good-fer-nuthin, halfwit!

My dear in laws told me when my son was at a similar age and non-verbal - "just stop giving him food, he'll soon enough find the words to ask for it!". It is just so much EASIER for them to think it's the mum's fault than to face the fact of disability! They are now saying behind my back (never to my face, too scared) that he is "not autistic, and will get there in the end". So in terms of diagnosis of autism, that puts them ahead of the no fewer than 25 different professionals who have diagnosed him as autistic! Quite incredible! Plus, whenever I show them what I am working on with DS in order to get him to talk, they act like I am torturing him: "oh let the poor wee mite play, he shouldn't have to do so much work at his age!" So you really can't win. I got the "do you talk to him enough?" too, though interestingly never from anyone who was willing to actually offer help, only from people who wanted to opine then sod off and leave me to it! So yes, I know exactly how you feel. I told my DH it was his responsiblity to deal with his parents and mine to deal with mine.

Yesterday, My 'lovely' MIL asked, within seconds of me entering the house, if DD2 had started walking yet.

NO! she wasn't walking 2wks ago - she can't even F*kin crawl!

Then when I say DD2 is tired - MIL repeats this back to me - like I don't know or hadn't noticed!

Not the best of friends due to MIL 'knowing' better about my children than I do.

Unfortunately she doesn't live 200 miles away.

You either love em or hate em.

Oh poo, MIL's bulldozed into coming over this morning ... wish me luck, will report my anger when shes left ...

Best of luck! Have an emergency bottle of wine ready for when she leaves!

Just had to add my tuppence worth. Been off ill all week with flu virus - was on the phone yesterday pm, just about to cancel two appointments that I had made when the door went. Opened it, couldn't believe my eyes, my MIL and SIL getting out of the car (a lethal combination). DS2 is still "really catching up with his cousin" (of the same age, SIL's son - the blue eye). Just bit my tongue. Breathed a sigh of relief when they left.

Good luck misscutandstick!

Good luck misscutandstick

Thanks all! well, shes gone

I grit my teeth, and didnt offer coffee once, in case they accepted and stayed longer

The grind of my teeth must have been quite evident when she was gushing "oooh look hes trying to talk for me"... actually he does that growling when he wants you to let go of his book . And "...oooh you do love your grandma..." actually he was trying to move her, she was sat in his seat. And of course the regular "oooh hasnt he grown" errr no, he hasnt. and "have you tried reading to him recently?" Obviously none of you have seen my house, theres a book case in every room (not the bathroom of course!)adults books at the top and kids on the bottom half, and the house is literally strewn with childrens books from DS5. do we read to him???

well im thankful that at least she didnt call him a 'sub-normal' this time...

My MIL has been a tower of strength. Being the only disabled adult in the family, she is the only one who really gets what it's like for dd, in a way that even I don't.

My Mum has found it harder; she did try to do the either very positive oh-I'm-sure-it's-nothing-serious alternated with oh-if-only-you-had-lived-here-you-would-have-had-all-the-help-you-needed. It's getting better. I'm sure it was just feeling helpless.

Glad im not the only one with a 'know-all' MIL

Mine believes that DS2 doesnt talk because he doesnt need to because I get everything for him, which is total cr@p. Also, he does everything with her that he doesnt do with me (eat correctly, not get upset at new places,talk etc) Oh, and he looks her in the face, plus she knows plenty of people with Autism, and they are much worse than him, which always makes me feel so much better

Been there got the T-Shirt but mostly with my own family. MIL struggled with the dx at first but has got there in the end. Couldn't manage without her coffee & chats now.

Now who wants the Bernard Manning Book of MIL Jokes to send to them on Mothering Sunday? I threatened to take mine to see the show.

Feeling much better thanks Tclanger, and no more visits from mil (yet!) thank goodness!