So i am sat here in tears-help

[mummytopebs]

Please i need some support i have set up another thread hellllp some advice please which explains a bit about my dd, she is waiting to see someone to see if she is asd. I have just picked her up from nursery and she was sat out of the group (second time this week) she was clearly upset, i asked what she had done and they said she had created at milk time. She has just recently started going full days instead of just afternoons so is used to get her milk on the afternoon, if they go all day they get a milk am and pm, however today there wasnt enough milk for both am and pm so they tried to give her water at pm and she kicked off. The nursery nurse said she was just being naughty, i tried to explain that it might have been cos of change of routine and she basically pooed pooed it and said no she was just being naughty. Also i had arrived a couple of mins early and saw her sat out they kept pushing her back in a corner and a little boy kept going over to her face, so she was hitting out at him and she was getting told off for hitting out, i tried to explain that she likes her personal space especiall y when she is upset and they pooed pooed that to.

Anyway i ended up crying in the nursery while they just looked at me as if to say oh my god she cant control her dd.

Please look at my other thread and see what you think about my dd symptoms cos now i am thinking i am going mad and maybe she just is naughty. Please i am at a loss

Well i have secured my dd a place at a private nursery who i have spoke to a length and they are involving a senco because she has a doctors referral. I darent even tell you what happened on friday at her nursery cos you will all be appauled

oh go on then i will

Firstly i was pd off thursday night when i unpacked dd lunchbox and there was apacket of animal biscuits unopened (very unusual of dd ) i said did you not fancy your biscuits at lunch time? and she told me the teacher had took them off her because shes not allowed them at nursery- this annoyed me as they know that my dd sees a dietician cos she doesnt put on weight and she is supposed to have so much fat in her diet a day-so they had totally disregarded what i had told them.

Second i dropped dd off friday am (reluctantly) and the headteacher (grrrrrrr) asked for a word about what had happened yesterday. We talkied for around 20 mins in which she basically just preached at me saying that dd knew how to wind me up, i just kept saying i know when she is pulling strings and when she is genuinely upset, anyway at the end of the meeting she said i've got a telephone number for you to ring here, to get some support, its not a teacher its not medical, but parental support, they do parenting classes!!!!!! Well at that i walked out and spent the whole day visiting nurserys and dd starts a new one (well one she went to as a baby) on monday.

Parenting classes what is she trying to imply (arrghhhhhhhh)

the helthy diet thing happens at school we had to invole paed and dietican becauses chool was removing half dd and ds lunch even though i told them there on a high fat diet, oh to be able eat like them

now im sure there some cake in fridge got munchies now

hi one of the common issues with asd [if she has it] is an addiction to foods they cannot tolerate ie the protein in milk or gluten [wheat] she probably had a tantrum because there was no milk and water is dull and uninteresting to her, the nursery staff have NO idea how to deal with a child who is having problems, naughty is such an antiquated word its so abstract and means nothing really, you may wish to consider getting the assessment done quickly as your child might need 1;1 with an adult, you may want to look up gluten and caesin free and do a six week trial and record her nehaviour moods urine and stool s etc., you can find more about this at www.treatingautism.co.uk under biomedical, youmight also wish to take your child to osteopathy for children as this can help with behaviour and cognitive skills and sleep and sitting nicely, and any child going to close to her is going tobe pushed aside, we all need personal space, you may want to consider going part time again you may want to look up www.autism.com to find out more about autism , but by removing milk and changing it for rice dream or soyz you may see a complete change, obviously there would be a small perion od detox and stimming if she does any ie[hand flapping spinning long shrieks etc] but they nearly allneed to remove wheat and milk. there are plenty of products in the free from section in sanisburys waitrise and tescos, my son has doneso well from a biomedical dan protocol including whaeat and caesin removal and osteopathy that he is a different child on the way to recovery, there is a list of books which you may wish to see at thenutricentre.com on the subject of autism and wheat free diets. ask how long before your assessment begins it should be with a camhs person doctor or professor it normally takes 6 months to do the whole assessment but you could improve things by learning more maybe look up the web sites, good luck

well mummytopebs im appalled to hear about how nursery treated you again well done for finding her somewhere else to go lets hope she'll be much more happier and get all the help she needs

and will give you time to go on your classes im obviously joking bloody cheek of them

Oh my God! Have just read this message. The nursery should be hauled over the coals for this type of treatment - ASD or not! If this has happened before, and they are aware of your worries why aren't they working with you instead of making you feel so bad? Firstly - set up a meeting with the person in charge of this nursery - write down a list of your concerns before you go and use it to refer to if you need it. Take someone with you - partner, friend, mum - anyone who will support you.
Secondly - once you have talked to them about it ask them to put into writing what they intend to do.
Try and get her referred I know there will probably be a list but nag, and keep nagging, and when you think you have nagged too much, nag some more. The people who shout the loudest get the help.
Try using a visual timetable with her - photos of the activities shw will be doing - this can be used at home and in school.
Try and record behaviour patterns, think of it as an ABC - antecedent - what happened immediately before the behaviour, B - behaviour - what she does, and C conclusion of the behaviour. This can help to see any patterns.
If I can help further contact me.
Chin up. They were in the wrong, not you. I would also consider reporting them to your local authority.

I just saw this and I agree with pushkar that you need to consider her reaction to not getting milk as a possible sign that she actually does need to go dairy-free. Some children's systems transfer milk molecules into an opioid and are basically addicted to it. Same thing with gluten.

Of course, the other possibility is that she was reacting to a change in routine. Even if she does not test on the spectrum she may be a Highly Sensitive Child or have Sensory Processing Disorder.

Congratulations on finding a new nursery for her! The other place sounds as if they don't have a clue about any of this

Thanks for all your repies. DD has been to visit her new nursery today and loved it, there is only 8 in her class with 3 teachers so she will get lots of additional support, they have also set up a senco observation thing.

Jabberwocky i will ask the consultant about the dairy free thing but i am a bit worried bout this cos on the night she will only have her constipation medication if it is in her milk - can you get dairy free milk (or is that a silly question)

Another thing what is with the guilt!!!! DD likes her new nursery, but i am now feeling guilty for pulling her out of her old one where she had friends and hope she can adapt to the change - sorry just thinking out loud

Not a silly question at all Ds1 does really well on goats milk. You could also try rice milk or soy (I prefer the vanilla flavor in those). He does well with goats milk on cereal but when he drinks a cup of it he likes a little strawberry syrup added in.

Lol at the guilt again. And please believe that I am laughing with you just because I have been there myself so many times We moved to get ds1 into a better school - which he likes very much and it was definitely the right decision - and yet, sometimes he is so wistful for his old friends that I have felt a twinge of guilt

mummytopebs how areyou today? the new nursery sounds fab, not too many kids and already have senco set up! wow .im very positive for you both and am sure your DD will settle in nicely , keep us up dated on how she's doing?

DD has been to nursery today and really enjoyed it, she has been pretending to be a dentist (which can only be a good thing cos she hates having her teeth brushed), she has had her photo taken as a dentist in the chair the nursery have made. She has also eaten a good hot meal for dinner which is good because she has to have a certain amount of fat everyday and they have told me exactly what she has had to eat. They are also going to set up some colour exercises next week to see if she can recognise her colours (as she may be colourblind). So feeling really positive about her nursery experience so far. They also have an allotment and they are going out on the minibus tomorrow to check on the allotment, so she will really enjoy that as she loves planting and stuff.

That sounds really, really nice. I'm so happy for her - and for you

Well dd has settled lovely in her new nursery, even cried today cos she couldnt go! She has had a couple of incidents flashing in her eyes and also hit a nursery nurse cos she was so engrossed in an activity and they tried to get her to do something else but otherwise fine. What i just wanted to ask was she has settled in really well and made friends straight away - do children with aspergers do this? cos she hasnt got dx yet and just thought children with asd wouldnt be able to adapt that quick (although she did go to this nursery when she was a baby and seems to remember it like yesterday, she has a brilliant memory) Any thoughts?

Reply to OP only - this is terrible behaviour of staff to any child. I do hope you get the support you and your child need. Best wishes. x

Mummytopebs ds1 settled in like that,he does have AS (full dx). If they'recomfy they can be very confident in a new surrounding: whereas ds2 would have been upset about separatio fromme iyswim ds1 wouldnt have bothered

DD has settled in lovely at nursery but has started getting upset about not seeing her old nursery teacher at the other nursery (the nice teacher not the head). Anyone any suggestions on how i can let her down gently that shes not going to see the other teacher again?

The flashing in her eyes - is it migraine?