knew it was coming, so why am i crying?

[porgie]

Havn't been on for a while, but in need of virtual hugs!
got a Dx of ASD for our DS 2.6 today.
I've known for months and been fighting for assessments for ages, so why am i so upset?

oh god don't worry.
i think we all cry then don't we. i did.
it makes it real and the process is exhausting. of course you should cry
have lots of hugs ( and I don't usually do hugs!)

I think that you are 'allowed' to have a little cry its all very real now and official....of course you will dry your eyes straighten your back and get down to getting you and your ds all the support available.

Its not a life sentence its just a different way ...you will cope.

shhhhh (((hug 4 u)))!!! dont tell anyone else xx

Of course you want to cry - it's the point of no return. It's real now and there's no going back. But you'll cope, we're astonishingly resilient. I have this urge to offer a hug, and I really don't do hugs! And you've got to see the DX as a positive step towards getting the right help.

Nothing wrong with crying. I did when son was dx, though I was relieved beyond words when I found out I was ASD.

Give yourself time to think and adjust. Remember that most of us grow up to be fine people who are loyal, honest, socially responsible etc. We just take longer to grow up than others do, in a way.

You'll be needing a cuppa, that's for sure.

sorry to hear this but i think its part relief part grief and part thank goodness you know where you are and can get help now

my ds was dx at 3 and i was the same but once i knew i was able to get him all the help he needs and he is totally different boy to what he was then

the key is early intervention and thank goodness you have that my ds is now 2.9 and the last 9 mths with the help he is unrecognizable to what he was then

i really hope you feel better soon its ok to feel a mish mash of emotions just remember his still the same boy but more doors can open now to help him big hugs to you xxxxx

also i found when i knew he had ASD my relationship- with him has improved and we are so close now as i understand him more and i have lessened my expectations and take one day at a time

but i feel lucky to see thew world 2 ways i wish he didnt have the struggles but he wouldn't be him without them and together we can face anything and so can the both of you the younger they are the better it is with the help my ds does therapies has 1-1 at pre school and huge difference in him to what he was like

take one day at a time at the moment let it sink in and deal with things as they come but your not alone and the feeling does pass xx

i meant my ds is 3.9 not 2.9

porgie - So sorry, I know it hurts like hell.
Sending you a big hug and passing you a glass of wine...

Not a time for being preached at but I hope this gives you some comfort...

in some ways having a name for it also gives us an idea of what we're up against.

The 'tag' is what we fight for but when we get it we have such mixed emotions. It's a release of everything; a grieving, a fear, an anger, even sometimes a guilt... and this is what drives us as mothers and this is why your child will know they are loved and will without a doubt reach their full potential - because they have your anger to fight for them.

I'm sure that, especially if you were expecting it, that you've read loads and will be reading more. But the important points that apply wherever they are on the spectrum are always the same:

ASD does not make the person, only their personality and their family can define them and how they grow.

ASD, more than anything, just means a different route to learning and loving.

And most importantly... We MN mums of ASD DCs are frequently to be found crying just before we get up and fight.

I found it crushing to hear the diagnosis from the team of health professionals even though I'd thought he probably had ASD for the previous 18 months. I even blurted out "what will he have it for life" . No idea where that came from!

Be gentle with yourself and have some hugs from me (hugs)

Porgie

Bless you lovely. We received the dx for our son (2.4) just before Christmas and I was exactly the same. I had been fighting for so long to get him assessed and when the paed actually said the words I just started sobbing (even though I knew). I think it is sometimes very hard to hear a stranger say something about your child even if you agree.

Give yourself some time and then I promise you will be ready to stand up and start again.

I definitely agree it has given our relationship with him much more strength and he really has improved even in the last six weeks and has started saying words and pointing.

It is a different path but one also filled with much love and laughter and appreciation for the smallest things

Sending you a big hug.

Hi Porgie, I'm not a regular on here,Ive just come on talk about DS's assessment but I wanted to say um I dont know really,what do you say on days like this? Sorry for how you are feeling but well done for getting a diagnosis for your son so early. It will open doors to early intervention etc.

It's totally understandable why you're upset because it's confirmation of all your fears. Our assessment did not result in a diagnosis, we're still in limbo so I'm also upset!

Good luck and sorry for waffle.

thankyou for all your lovely words and hugs. I have now pulled myself together, dried my eyes and am ready to take on the world!
We are in the running for LUFAP (Lancashire under fives autism program) think may be similar to ABT.
Has anyone tried AIT, nyastin (to get rid of internal thrush)or anything else you really recommend.
Hubby has set himself the task of making a Noah friendly garden cause he loves being outside, its going to be like extreme makeover. this is making him feel a bit better as he feels he can do something for him, he is even reading books which is unheard for him!
am feeling very positive, even if he can't get a fantastic job he can be a super model cause he is sooooo beautiful, check out profile pics (biased mummy!! ha ha).

He is absolutely beautiful!!! Glad you are feeling stronger, I read that dealing with an ASD dx can be very similar to the grieving process so be gentle on yourself.

He is lovely Porgie.