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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Deaf MNers or those with deaf children!!!

12 replies

NilDesperandum · 30/01/2009 11:26

have posted before on this but was in chat and as so disappeared in the mists of time...

how can we encourage ds to take more responsibility for his disability? if you are deaf, when did you "realise" that, actually, you had to take more care than perhaps your hearing peers might?

ds is 9, he is severely deaf but close to the borderline of proofundly deaf. he has worn hearing aids since he was 2. he seems to be getting worse as he gets older not better with regard to things like taking care of his aids etc!

last night i came within inches of treading on one as he had pulled them out in the bath and just dropped them on the floor rather than putting them safely or in the drying pot.

he loves to ride his bike but gets angry as he is not allowed as much freedom as his friends - we have explained over and over that he needs to take more care but he shrugs, laughs and doesn't!grr...

help me...please...

OP posts:

Original poster

NilDesperandum · 30/01/2009 11:40

bump

OP posts:

mamalino · 30/01/2009 12:07

hiya, as the parent of three children ranging from hearing to profoundly deaf, I think the first issue is not to see deafness as a "disability" unless of course he has additional needs?
I also think deaf children should have just as much freedom as hearing children.
With regards to the hearing aids perhaps the problem is he treats them like a "normal" possession eg dropping clothes on the floor? Having a designated place to put them when taken out helps but at the end of the day, he is a 9 year old boy At our audiology clinic there are children who have had numerous aids lost or damaged so whilst they are expensive and important items it's not the end of the world, although I remember being v stressed over DDs aid being broken when she was knocked over by an older boy!

coppertop · 30/01/2009 12:52

I wasn't deaf as a child but wear hearing-aids as an adult so don't know how much help I can be but here are my thoughts for what they're worth:

I think the only times that I really need to take more care than people with typical hearing is when it comes to things like not being able to hear alarms and sirens and when crossing the road. Instead of relying on being able to hear traffic I just need to look more closely than most people.

If your ds is at an age where he wants to be able to ride his bike on the road then it might be worth looking into a cycling proficiency course. On another SN thread (I'll try to find it for you) a mumsnetter was having similar difficulties with her dd. There were a few cycling proficiency courses which were designed specifically for children with hearing difficulties.

If the only reason your ds doesn't have the same freedom as his friends is because of his deafness then it might be worth going through the specific issues with him and letting him be a part of trying to find a possible solution to them. He might be more willing to stick to your new rules if he has played a part in helping to come up with them.

I can sort of understand the problem with not putting the hearing aids away safely. The problem is that once you are used to them it's easy to forget that they are even there. Mine just feel as though they are part of my ears IYSWIM. If your ds is like this then it's likely that he gets in the bath, is about to start washing etc and then realises they are still in. It's easier to just stick them on the floor than to get out of the bath again and put them somewhere safe. The only think I can think of is a picture or poster on the door to remind him to take them off before getting in the bath.

I agree with Mamalino's post too.

Tortington · 30/01/2009 12:56

my dd is partially deaf, and i think the hearing aid thing and not looking after them, is just kids.
i can't tell you the times i have had to take a day off work to go to the walk in repair place - take her with, meaning a day off school, parking in brigghton ( nightmare)

becuase she forgot - and got int he bath, or stood on them or something. aaaaaaaaaaaaargh

just kids not the disability

re: bikes... it must must must have a lot to do with where you live, the layout of the street , the volume of traffic - i can say for my daughter, its never been an issue.

coppertop · 30/01/2009 12:57

Here's the cycling thread. There might be some ideas in there that will help.

JHKE · 30/01/2009 13:05

Why would your ds not have as much freedom as a hearing child? Me and my brother are both deaf and we were treated just the same as a child who could hear.

Agree with custardo that the not looking after hearing aid is just a kid thing..

Original poster

NilDesperandum · 30/01/2009 15:28

thank you for your answers!

i don't think i worded the OP very well - his deafness has never been a "disability" before or an issue in anything he can or can't do, in fact, we don't even use the word disability really.

when it comes to playing out with friends, he has had a couple of near misses just outside the house where he hasn't looked properly - his friends are allowed to cycle several streets away but as i know just from watching him close to home he has no traffic awareness at all, i'm not happy about him being "loose" on the roads so to speak. he understands that he needs to show us that he can use the roads safely but isn't really interested in sorting out a solution...

thanks for the link - nothing near us unfortunately.

you're right about kids being kids i think - i too have just spent far too much time organising audiology appts due to broken hearing aids and am wondering if/when it will change...!!!

Thank you everybody

OP posts:

Original poster

NilDesperandum · 30/01/2009 15:31

thinking about it more...i think even if he could hear i wouldn't let him cycle out by himself due to his lack of road sense - the deafness just is something else to chuck in there perhaps?

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unfitmother · 30/01/2009 20:03

I spent £3000 on new digital aids and lost one after a week. They weren't insured.
Perhaps I'm not the best person to give you advice.

LollipopViolet · 30/01/2009 20:10

I would use his road sense as a way of saying no, rather than his deafness iyswim. Explain that, yes, him being deaf does play a part in your decision, but so does him showing his maturity and road awareness. I've been in the same prediciment, although due to visual impairment, so I know how it feels to crave independence.

coppertop · 30/01/2009 21:56

I agree with LollipopViolet. I think you should tell him that it's because he has no road sense etc rather than because he is deaf. If you tell him it's the former then he has an incentive to try harder to be careful as he gets older. If you tell him it's because of deafness then he will assume that it's something that he can't change and so won't try.

Original poster

NilDesperandum · 01/02/2009 20:29

thanks chaps - let him out today further than usual with his friends - hoping we will have a bit of give and take on both sides if you see what i mean!

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