ok will i die of embarssment/shame/look like the dirtiest mother around

[Fio2]

have social worer coming tommorrow and plumbers have started work on the house today. i have been waiting for both to come for ages, so was reluctant to cancel either. i phoned social worker to ley her know it would be a mess, but I feel like I have done the wrong thing now and should have cancelled

eek

and should I leave all toys out and just have a quick hoover?

big sorrys again. This was just one social worker. Other social workers have I talked to about original social worker report thinks she is talking crap (excuse the french). I do think that there are some social workers who live in "social work land" where everything is perfect.

think I should shut up now digging myself in a bit deep.

(((hugs)))Good luck with tomorrow am sure your social worker will be lovely (most of them are, just unlucky with my original one)

don't feel bad madmum...messages on here can often be seen in the wrong light!!!

I'll add something (so u don't feel so bad!!!)

When i had my first son....the health visitor informed us at the 'social evening' that she held at the end of the antenatal classes.....that she expected us all to be up and dressed by 11am when she made her 1st home visit!

AND....someone at a postnatal depression group i attended said that when she made home visits the "one thing i can't stand is people who ONLY hoover round the furniture (not under etc)....and you see a line of crumbs and dust along the setees...."

Needless to say they both disappoved of me obviously!!!! (and neither had children...let alone SN)

My SW seemed to see loads of toys (crap) around the place as a good thing. The report said the house was 'child centred with lots of toys" or something like that. Don't worry fio2- the first timee the SW came I dropped ds2 on his head in front of her! the 2nd time we were all sitting in the dark (ds1 lights off obsession that I hadn't bothered to tackle at the time!).

I see I'm not the only who would be glad of the excuse to blame the mess on the plumbers.

gosh madmum, i am not offended at all, i thought it was funny although my stomach did turn at the thought of her looking round the rest of the house!

mrsf, thank goodness its only me. I told the bluming plumber aswell, as obv he might overhear (well will) and he said "oh well, it make make them GIVE you some help!"

MrsF (((hugs)))) thank you. I had a health visitor with no children as well, they are well unrealistic. She had the nerve to tell me that with 3 kids (at the time) there was no way I would be able to do my nurse training. In your face health vistor ive got 4 children now and I am doing my nurse training.

jimjuams

sounds like a good plumber fio!

i wouldnt worry, in fact enjoy the mess and the excuse not to do the housework tomorrow.

a messy house does not mean a dirty house.
If your house looked like a show home when the social worker arrives, she will either not believe for a second it always looks like that, or that you put the fear of god into your children to keep it looking that way.
Clean but with toys scattered about (execpt on stairs)i think is the best way to go.

Pretend you've just been burgled. As you see the social worker coming up the drive flash at the plumber who will then run out. Voila.

I dont know, it does look dirty. We are in the middle of renovations and there is bare plaster on the walls down stairs, 2 rooms are unlivabe, it is decorated granny stly, we have no central heating (hence the plumbers) old bathrooms

its hideous

lol ff, except i dont drive, dont have a drive and if i flash at the plumber it might make things worse

Message withdrawn

Leave the hoover out and plugged in, fio - as if you were just about to use it

When my kids were little my house was horrible - half-stripped old-lady wallpaper and carpets either missing or holey - and my HV (who had 3 kids and Understood) made a point of introducing me to another mum whose house was the same - we both really appreciated it.

If your sw has ever seen a makeover prog (and who hasn't?) she will Understand too.

Message withdrawn

Ah, but you are in the middle of renovations. You have an excuse. You just say, "Excuse the mess, we're in the middle of renovations."

Message withdrawn

The only person I let see my house without at least a weeks notice and time to tidy is Essbee

Soupdragon, I've been saying that for years.

omg fio - my house is the same. 1/2 stripped granny wallpaper is very in you know....

Say sorry ive not tidied i'm pissed, she'll totally forget about your house then

That's my excuse - well its true actually - we are in the middle of renovations and have been for nearly 4 years thank god no-one has ever had to go upstairs in my house.

I am sure it will be fine Fio2 - social workers must have seen some pretty awful sights in their time.

well i have hoovered

and yet i have drank a bottle of wine

but I am in the middle of renovations , LOL

Fio 2, I was terrified when HV was coming round for first time after ds was born - manically tidying up/cleaning etc. When she arrived I made a joke about it, and she said she'd just come from a house where there were old dirty nappies lying about everywhere and the two kids were sitting on the floor eating out of the dog bowl. Hopefully they know the difference between healthy mess and neglect .

Renovations is a strange word, sounds a bit posh. I'd say decorating/repairs. My Soc Worker has NEVER looked at the rest of the house and one of my tricks is to close as many doors as possible. I also do the bed thing, its my top tip for visitors, get bedspreads, put all the shit on the beds and simply cover!