Am I being unreasonable do you think?

[Flocci]

DD started reception 3 weeks ago with a support worker for 25 hours, supposedly. This is supposed to work out that the support worker is "available" to her all the time except lunch when she shares a different support worker with 2 other children who also have CP.

The school keep banging on about her independence and don't want her to get clingy to a support worker and don't want the support worker to be next to her all the time. they are also adamant that she should be supported and helped by different people at different times so that she doesn't get too fixated on one person.

Personally I think that is bullshit - i think she needs to have one person who she can always rely on. She is havng real trouble settling in and from what she can says I think she is finding all the chopping and changing very unsettling. She feels that she is left on her own and there isn;t always someone there to help. According to her form teacher this is because they are being subtle and unobtrusive so she doesn;t always realise she is being watched closely in case she needs something.

But specifically what i am unhappy with is that she needs total assistance with going to the loo ie clothing, getting on and off and bum wiping. In 3 weeks at least 6 different members of staff have done this, and I think that is bang out of order. If nothing else then surely that is one job that should ALWAYS be allocated to her so-called support worker.

Am I being overly precious about this?

I think it is better at have more than one TA so if they are off sick or not there your child has other people they can trust who know them and their needs. Having 6 is excessive though especially while she settles in.

No.Not at all.
As a salt in field of SN, the biggest challenge i face is getting the army of people involved with such kids all doing roughly the smae thing.

Golden rule is (as I have learnt over 15 years) the fewere people involved the better.

Ask yourself if you would like 6 different people teaching you to drive/learn a new computer system/cook a complicated meal.

It's just the smae and actually much more stressful if you have SN. Don't trust people to bother to do things the smae way.They won't and don't-90% of them anyway.

Is she 5 then if she has just started reception? At that age even NT children struggle with getting adults changed all the time! I think they should be provding a more one on one with your DD.

We had "classes" about our dc starting school at an autistic playgroup I attended last year, and we were told that there is always only one person assigned to change nappies/take dc to toilet. I cant understand the need for 6 different people. Wrong so wrong.

Apologies for the rant earlier (bad day)....

Flocci, why not have a meeting with the head and discuss personal privacy, risk assessment etc, again ask them to produce evidence of how this is good for your child.

It's never easy and always a battle but once the assistance is in place everyone will be happy.

Good Luck!

Maybe we should just leave our kids with the neighbours so they dont become to attached to us. I really am disgusted at this as i am thinking about moving my son from mainstream to special needs school, and i would like his support worker to go aswell. I think she would go with him if i asked, but no doubt the higher authorities will decide whats best and ignore my wishes. And if the head teacher rams the bloody word INDEPENDENCE down my throat one more time i swear i will explode. Do they think we are totally incapable of teaching our children anything at home

You don't teach a child independence by making them feel insecure. Independence comes from having security and knowing you can rely on it, then choosing for yourself how you work with others to do something. It's not something forced on a child.

I use autism support in some circumstances. One overly helpful organisation ignored me saying 'please can it be just one person', and put in place six people. I humoured them for a while, but consequently each had a totally different approach, and I had six people to remember and cope with. It didn't help my independence at all - it made it worse.

Not unreasonable at all. And I think from a dignity point of view your DD shouldn't be having all these people involved with her toileting.

flocci: are you going to speak to the head again?

amber, I've read a couple of your other recent threads and just wanted to say THANK YOU! It really helps me, as a parent of an ASD DS, to explain and fight his corner.

You make some great points here which I'll probably be using in the very near future - if you don't mind? (for probs with our church school Headteacher, priest and as a reason not to change doctors too).

No, I never mind people using things for something useful. Or people asking me for other explanations, either.

Done

It sounds way to confusing to have so many people involved. My ds2 (5) who doesn't have any special needs found it very confusing when his teacher was off school for a couple of weeks and they had several different supply teachers (plus they go to different classes for some subjects). He was upset because he didn't know half their names and didn't know who he was supposed to ask for help - if it had been ds1(ASD) I doubt I would have got him to school.

I can see the logic in getting children used to more than 1 TA - incase of illness etc - but more than 2 makes no sense to me.

Meeting staffing requirement is very different from proper support for children - sometimes schools don't seem to see that.

My son has full time support by 2 LSA's. The main LSA who does most the hours has been consistent but the afternoon 9 hrs a week post has had many changes and always results in an unsettled period - especially as school does not put in proper training.

It is certainly not unreasonable to ask that your child has a designated support worker for toileting.

Is there any LEA outreach service that supports the placement? Sometimes schools accept suggestions better when they do not come from the parent - wrong but true!

very intrested in thiss my son due to start schoo this year and were getting the wont be good for him to have f/t 1-1 needs be independant hmm this is non verbal chid who will only have approx mentalage of 2 yer oldat school ,less in lot of areas toieting , dressing etc communicating socials skills , and they wont even name who be or teacher to end of june( head does not decided sef to May btw is the senco to)so how on earth training be done by september

aAt nursery he has 2 lsa his main one who is fantastic with hm and another ember of staff who can slide into the role if his is of or having a break, btw his nursery is one roomalways same staff so this helps lot max 116 kids and with his lsa t least 4 adults

erm that should read 16

I am so happy to have come b ack and seen your messages. Sometimes i am convinced that i am going nuts because all of the so-called professionals can't seem to understand what i am saying.

I too may commit a murder if I am told that their latest crazy suggestion is being done in the name of independence ..... she is not yet 5 yo and can't stand, walk or go to the toilet or feed herself properly - she is not independent, we don't ecpect her to be and she doesn't feel the need to be just yet either. What she needs is security and stability.

We are preparing a list of things we have issues with, toiletting being at the top and we will go back to the school with it all after half-term.

I am particularly pleased that I am not the only one who can see the benefit of continuity of care for dd's security but also so that the member of staff can get to know her really well and understand what she wants or needs. Also so that the support worker can get a good picture of how she is progressing - that can only come if one person focusses on her, not a random succesion of assorted bods.

Phoenix - to answer your worry, brace yourself for the issue of appointing someone and getting them adequately trained .... it may not be what you would wish. Despite us having discussions with the school for months what everntually ahppened was that they appointed someone 3 weeks before dd started, ignoring our request to take on her ISA from playschool who was perfectly qualified etc etc and we didn't meet this new person until the day before dd started. She received approx 1 hour of training on DD's FIRST DAY so in fact i stayed in the classroom with dd that morning because the OT was there training her. It was a total bloody joke, but apparetnly this kind of shambles is pretty normal procedure.

It is clear that the school have totally their own agenda in terms of using the LA statement funding and sorting out their staffing and then allocating staff to kids as it suits them, and not at all necessarily wht is best for the child. At dd's school they have 3 children with SN now and there are 2 ISA's there. Having spoken to the other mums it is clear that we are all being played off against each other and all think that our own child is being given the most attention! And in fact one of the two ISAs is evidently used as actually a general TA most of the time.

JEES I can't believe that having battled with the LA for over a year to get this level of support now we must fight the school to actually provide that suport.