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SN children

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Original poster

I'm so upset and bl**dy furious!!

24 replies

cktwo · 26/01/2009 16:25

I've just picked up DD1 (GDD) from pre-school. DD2 also attends there but as she's only 2 she only does a couple of mornings later in the week.

In the bookbag is an invite to a birthday party for one of the little girls but only for DD2!! I have a feeling everyone from Pre-school has been invited apart from DD1 and I'm furious and really .

Is this going to keep happening just because DD1 has SN?

OP posts:

PlainOldPeachy · 26/01/2009 16:29

Sorry but yes

It happens to both of my Sn boys- heck it happens to ds2 becuase ds1 has SN and ds2's friends don't like him (as if I am stupid enough to take ASD aggressive ds1 to other kids parties- I find that insulting actually)

If you have the backbone ask the Mum if dd2 was left off by accident 'Oh yopu might not have realised I have 2 in nursery'

If not then you have to decide whether to let DD1 go (I'd have a nasty moment and send refusal on the basis that I couldn't send just one!)

It hurts; I broke down with the SENCo once about it and she got really angry on my behalf and they tried to solve it (when nobody would come to ds3's birthday party last July). Still nobody would come. In the end we had the PTA mums bring their kis along and DS3 was oblivious but I am soooo glad he's off to SNU; as long as idiots exclude like this then MS inclusion is never going to work properly becuase confidence and self acceptance is everything and is damaged by prats like this.

Sorry

Marne · 26/01/2009 16:32

Maybe only the younger ones are invited?

Dd1 (as) has not been invited to any parties, today everyone came running out of school with invites to a party and dd1 didn't have one . Luckily dd isn't bothered, i think its more upsetting for us mums than it is the children.

It does seem unfair that they invited dd2 but not dd1.

theresonlyme · 26/01/2009 16:33

Maybe the fear of the unknown makes them forget common courtesy?

madwomanintheattic · 26/01/2009 16:52

maybe it is just for the younger ones? ie the rising 3's?

could have just been a mistake - i invited one of a set of twins to dd2's birthday lol - i honestly had no idea there were two of them

anyone inviting a whole nursery to a party is quite clearly off their rocker anyway lol.

SparklyGothKat · 26/01/2009 17:03

Ds1 was finally invited to a party last week, he last went to a party when he was 6, he is now 11. People are 'scared' of his disability so don't invite him

Original poster

cktwo · 26/01/2009 17:09

It's a small village pre-school only about 12 kids and DD1 has been there for more than a year and this girl is the same age as DD1 and they play together!

I think I'll have a quiet word with the leader and see who's actually invited before addressing the mother. But I'm certainly not taking DD2 and will tell everyone who wants to know why!! (sorry, thats the petty side of me coming out now , still angry you see)

OP posts:

sarah293 · 26/01/2009 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

whitenoise · 26/01/2009 17:54

the invitation for your DD2 was in your DD1s bookbag?

catweazle · 26/01/2009 18:10

Happened to my DS2 (ADHD) all the time. I was permanently and

alfiemama · 26/01/2009 18:13

I would say, surely someone would have to be pretty heartless to miss your dd out and put your other dd invite in her bag. Perhaps this is just a genuine mistake, I would try and do a bit of detective work.

I know it happens but not as blatantly as this.

coppertop · 26/01/2009 18:19

Is it possible that they just got the names mixed up and meant to invite dd1 as she's there more often?

I hope it turns out to be a mistake. xx

Original poster

cktwo · 26/01/2009 18:21

Well they share a bag so it does look bag. If just some of the class have been invited then I'll just have to go with it. It's still pretty mean inviting one sibling and not the other. I'll up date you on my findings tomorrow

OP posts:

PeachyBAHonsPRSCertOnRequest · 27/01/2009 16:54

Toay we had this.

A mum holding a party left out 3 kids: the 2 SN ones and a Thai kid.

I was hoping she'd be subtle but nope, she even encouraged the kids to wave back at DS1 as they passed (doubly pissed off as ds1's best friend in that group, was supposed to come here tonight but Mum told ds1 he was too busy at a sports thing )

Mum also stopped me even getting to DS to whick him hoime sharpish by standiing right in front of me > I don't mean a metre or so- so close that her freakish bleached mangy rats tailed haar was in my farking mouth!

She's ignored me for yars but clearly hates me.

Having ahd no sleep for 3 days and being like a foul devil mood wise atm I came so close to leaning forwards and whispering swear words in her ears...... (

Seuss · 27/01/2009 19:02

Aw Peachy - what a cow! Hope the revenge party rocks!

Shells · 27/01/2009 19:13

DS2 has never been invited to a party . At his age DS1 had been to at least 20.
He'd probably hate them anyway, but an invite as a gesture would be nice.

Pixel · 27/01/2009 19:28

Ds finally got invited to a party in the Christmas holidays (he's 8). Unfortunately the invitation was slipped in between the pages of his home/school book and I didn't see it until I was getting his stuff ready for the new term, a week too late . I felt terrible.

Original poster

cktwo · 27/01/2009 19:59

An invitation was in the bag today for DD1, it was an innocent mistake apparently. I'm not sure if the pre-school leader had a quiet word, anyway I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

I guess I need to prepare myself for more of these situation. Am quite looking forward to special school when everyone can be invited to DD1's party

OP posts:

HecateQueenOfGhosts · 27/01/2009 20:04

As Peachy says - yes, it keeps happening. It's wrong and it makes you mad and sad in equal measure, but by god you need to get used to dealing with it, because the world ain't going to change any time soon. but mainly

PeachyBAHonsPRSCertOnRequest · 27/01/2009 22:45

Yeah what Hecate said

Deeeja · 27/01/2009 22:56

My kids don't get invited to parties and I don't get invited to coffee mornings and the like.
I don't want to hang around with idiots like that anyway!
twits

PeachyBAHonsPRSCertOnRequest · 27/01/2009 23:02

I've been invited to a coffee morning tomorrow

Run by ASD support

But as I can't get ds3 INTO school atm I may have an excuse!
Am on PTA until school transfer, I wanted to make them hear me, and I did meet some nice people.

sadnog · 28/01/2009 09:24

DD doesn't get invited to parties anymore, used to when she first moved to the school 4 years ago but not in the last 18 months! Last year for her birthday she said she wanted some friends for tea, we invited 4, only one turned up despite the mums telling me they were coming!! None of them said anything to me in the playground next day and I wouldn't waste my breath on such evil people! Broke my heart for DD but at least the one that did turn up was her best friend. Problem is, at a loss to know what to do for her birthday this year

5inthebed · 28/01/2009 13:24

This thread is making me feel so

My ds1 had a tea party last year, where only 3 kids turned up, and I know for a fact its because of ds2. Parents of NT children can be so cruel!

Debs75 · 28/01/2009 19:38

I can't belive how heartless some mothers are. DS (asd) has nwever gone to dd1's ms school and some parents didn't know we had him. When he was at special need school, after a few years i took the plunge and invited his whole class (8) to a soft play adventure playground thing. The other parents thought i was mad but it was the best party ever.
Whwen dd had a party we invited the wholer class, it is the only way to be fair.

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