DS2 is now self harming. School have offered help but I am concerned

[pagwatch]

DS2 is 12 with severe ASD.
He has always been highly sensitized and we have a history of stimulatory type of behaviours and also being highly emotional when over stimulated resulting in behaviours like pinching.
Just in the last couple of weeks he has started pinching the inside of his thighs resulting in some nasty finger tip sized bruising.
I sent a note to the school - to his teacher - asking if they had any suggestions to stop this.
In the meantime I have been constantly reminding him to use kind hands all the time - even with himself. I have also got him to undewrstand that if I catch him pinching I will remove a star from his star chart.
Anyway the day after I wrote to the school his teacher phoned as DS2 had had gym and the bruising was noticable.
She has suggested a home visit as DS2 "isn't doing this at school". Frankly I find that hard to believe and i think they have just not observed it.
I agreed to the visit on the grounds that I am happy to have any suggestion re this behaviour but it seems that the school are not sending a techer or ed psych but a community nurse.

Sorry this is longwinded but my questions are

a) has anyone weaned their child of self stims that were negative and difficult - like this one

and b) am I right to be suspicious that school are visiting to exclude possibility of abuse rather than to offer behavioural suggestions?

Any imput very welcome ( before I get unreasonably annoyed with school)

Yes, some of the self-stims can be negative and difficult, especially if it's a result of total overloading stress on the young person in question. What's different in the last couple of weeks, I wonder? Could it be hormonal changes, or has something changed at school - classrooms, schedules, teacher changes, new sport? It can be something that seems very minor that causes a very big effect, and we're really bad at being to notice exactly what, or say what it is to other people.

I've no idea what to think about the home visit. I think you could do with an autism adviser there at the same time to explain things to the nurse, because community nurses don't have a heck of a lot of autism experience and may not realise what they're looking at.

Hi Pagwatch

tbh not sure about this either. We don't have self stims that are similar to this. It would be more sucking, etc - smearing which we get when DS2 is very stressed and it's about talking and talking reinforcing etc. Would he pinch into a ball of plasticene rather than his thighs?

re: the community nurse, she might be visiting because she has some good behavioural tips to share and the school have said that they haven't seen him doing this, therefore, out of their remit (?).

I think if there were child protection concerns the school would be dealing with it themselves.

However, I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask the school why they are sending out the community nurse. There's nothing wrong with being informed - it's all about autonomy after all.

Thanks
I am pretty sure thatthere is nothing different at school as his school is specific for children with ASD so they are absoloutely alert to any changes and always notify me.
Everything is the same as usual at home too - I am just trying to look at his diet too in case something new has snuck in or ingrdients in a familiar food have changed.

My DH suggested hormones too so maybe that is involved (sigh!)

Thanks too for the suggestion re a stim ball or plasticine. I'll get something in town on Monday - although my siggestions of that to him have been rejected perhaps i just need to ghand something to him and see if he gets what I am suggesting IYSWIM.

I think when community nurse phones to make appt I will ask what his/her remit is exactly and what she has been asked to achieve.

Thanks again

I have a friend on another site whose DD has severe ASD - she has had a community nurse involved regularly to support them - so I wouldn't see it as always out of a community nurse remit. hope the visit is of use, and you don't worry too much about it.

J used to do this and do it more at home too. I wouldn't think the worst unless the visit makes you suspicious.

I'm afraid I haven't got any advice re: stopping - distracting worked sometimes but not others - he certainly did it more when commented on or told not to.

CAMHS may be the best people - I doubt a community nurse with no ASD specialism will be able to offer that much to help, but may help with quick referral to CAMHS, so may still be worth going through with the visit.