If a close friend thought your child might have Asperger's, would you want to know?

[BFQi]

I'd be really grateful for any advice on how to handle this situation.

I have a close friend with a 4-year-old DS whom I have known since birth. For about a year now I've been wondering whether perhaps he has Asperger's. (We have children of the same age, but for the last two years have lived on opposite ends of the country, so don't see each other often. This makes it diificult to know whether my impressions of him are typical, but also throws our DC's differences into stronger relief.)

Does anyone have any personal experience of a similar situation? What, if anything, should I do? She has sometimes expressed concerns about individual aspects of his development, but I don't know how far her thoughts have gone. I'm not sure that she knows what Asperger's is.

I care for them both very much and I don't know whether I'm doing them a disservice by not saying anything, or just being a busybody.

The answer is no.

What you should do is listen to her concerns, draw her out, and then "accidentally" become "acquainted" with people whose children have accessed early support.

If and when she starts using professional help, and realising the benefits and drawbacks of this, she will need you to listen, and never at any point to say "oh yes we all used to wonder".

Many programs are run in schools now without diagnosis or labels. For instance, the "Time to Talk" programme was used by my BF's son because he has a tendency to interrup, and also for my son because he didn't understand a blind word anyone was saying to him.

Someone else asked this question, last week I think - have a read and see if it is helpful...

similar thread

Thanks a lot for the thoughts and the link. Will read now.

Next time she expresses concerns say that you don't see them enough to have an opinion but if she really is worried she should see her GP.

If she asks about AS point her to the National Autiostic Society website.

Okay, I've read the other thread. Thanks very much. Am glad I've not raised the subject.