Today is one of those days - ranting so please ignore

[5inthebed]

I knew today was going to be bad when my OH wouldnt get up with our 8 week old ds3 at half 6, because he had to get up for work at 7
So I've been up since then, after doing two early feeds, and having to put ds2 back into bed each time we got up.
DS2 hasnt been to school all week, as when he got to his SN nursery, he had diarrhoea (sp) so was sent home and has had to stay off for 48 hours.
DS3 has been very whingy and fractious today as he had his jabs yesterday, so has been permanently attached to me, and ds2 has been following me around, repeating the same two words over and over again.
I tried to relieve some of the pressure from me by taking them both to a toddler group. We went last week, and it was so good. DS2 was great, and didnt have any meltdowns. Today he was a living nightmare, and most of the mothers kept giving me funny looks, and someone even commented (not to me) about ds2 still wearing nappies at HIS age . Didnt want to have to explain to her or her gang that he was autisti, so promptly left.
Went to pick my ds1 up from school, and ds2 was running around screaming, which meant more tutting and whispering from other parents.
Finally got home, and ds2 walked around saying "tea, tea, tea" over and over again until I made his tea for him.
Me and OH have been arguing all night as he seems to think that as he works, he is entitled to come home and just sit and chill. Because HE has had such a hard day (he works for B&Q delivering stuff, not hard or stressful), and because HE has been up early.
I could just cry. All I want is for someone to be nice to me, to be nice to my little boy and for my husband to stop being such a prat and to think about someone other that himself. I could really do with a friend who understands the day to day life of someone with autism. God I sound so pathetic an needy.
Sorry, rant over, I cant put it all down in words.

i REALLY sympathise! you are not being pathetic or needy. it can be so unrelentingly stressful having a child with autism, and dealing with it when you are suffering from a lack of sleep can be totally overwhelming.

can i give your o.h. a virtual kick up the butt for you?!?!? does he ever have to do the child care on his own? this might help him to get a little understanding about how exhausting your days (and nights!!) can be.

i delivered dd into dp's bed (complicated co-sleeping, musical beds situation in our house at nights!!) at 6.00 am the other day following a few sleepless nights. he did grumble a bit as he's not a morning person, but deep down i think he knows the score and realises how difficult things are without sleep. i just ignore the grumbling and do what i need to do to share the burden!

a bit of support makes all the difference and makes difficult times seem more doable. could o.h. be talked round do you think?

5inthebed

wish could do more to help but sending hug
your way.And as for othe rmums just ignore them my ds is still in nappies and is likely to be when he goes to school , i now have skin like a rhino but occoasionly I do still hve weeps for whatmight have been and a supportive partner makes all the differance.

lol anyone happes to have a spare one send him my way

Hugs (virtual ones, but hopefully they'll do, since I'm no good at real ones).

As for delivery jobs being harder than children, it's not even on the same scale. I used to do delivery work for a computer company and it was SO easy compared to even bringing up one child with an SEN. So I think he does need to be given the children for a day and see how easy he thinks it is then.

You're doing a fantastic job. I think you're marvellous. So do your children, even if they don't think to say so.

Hugs. Sounds tough. I couldn't cope without supportive DH. Had a really tough time when DS was small so can very much sympathise. (If it helps, I had an awful week - DD, DS and DH all sick on Monday and Tuesday so I had to run around cleaning up after all of them and putting on about six loads of washing, then Wednesday DH goes back to work, both kids are fine, and I'M SICK but there's no-one to run round after me!) I'm sure your little boy's lovely and am sorry the toddler group were so unsupportive.

Hope today is a bit better xx

Thanks for your support and kind words ladies.
TBH, I really need to sit down with my hubby and tell him he needs to either start helping me more or leave. I've had no sleep, even though he got up for the feeds, as it was his turn (he does it once a week).
DS2 has gone to school today, and hubby has taken ds3 to his mams for a bit, so I've got a few hours to get my head together.