Toilet training again - what do you think?

[silverfrog]

I have been toilet training dd1 since just before Christmas.

She is doing ok, but I'm not sure what we can do next to help her.

Some background:

dd1 has drinking issues at the best of times. she is not doing badly with drinking just now, but it has had an impact on toilet training.

initially dd1 tried to manage her toiletting (or rather not going to tthe toilet) by reducing her drinking. we kept on top of this, and encouraged lots of drinking throughout the day. I think we are past this bit now, although dd1 will need encouraging to drink for a long while yet.

due to her (non)drinking, dd1 has no trouble staying dry. she has, a few times, managed to hold on all day, so from 8am to 7pm - no wee.

she seems to know when she needs to go for a wee, and will ask to sit on the toilet.

the problem is, she is having trouble letting go. she gets upset when she can no longer hold on, especially if she is sitting on the toilet at the time. If she is elsewhere, and has an accident, she is ok with the weeing aspect, but doesn't like being wet (always comes to find me for help changing)

she has managed 5 wees on the toilet - 3 at home, and 2 at school (bear in mind that she only wees once during daylight hours, so that is 5 days succes in 4 weeks or so of training)

what I don't know is how to get her less bothered by "letting go" on the toilet. yesterday, she asked 3 times to go to the toilet within 20 mintues. she clearly needed to go, and was uncomfortable both walking around and sitting (watching cbeebies). the third time (when she does need to go, she usually "cluster asks", almost as though she has to work up to weeing on thte toilet) she sat on the toilet happily (is always happy to do so), then got a little distressed, then a bit more, and a bit more, then started weeing.

she tried to stop weeing a couple of times, but let go again. It's almost as though she thinks she si doing something wrong.

as soon as she had finished, she hopped off quite happily, had her chocolate, and settled down to watch Mr Tumble, announcing proudly every 5 mins or so "I weed in the toilet"

so, do I just carry on?

will she get less distressed by weeing in the toilet as time goes on?

everything else is in place, but I don't want to carry on if there is a risk of putting her off, iyswim.

what do you think?

It sounds like she is doing reely well.

We had alot of problems with dd weeing on the toilet, when she started school she would hold on, after talking to her teacher we agreed to the teacher to take her to the toilet twice a day even if she didn't need to go. At the start dd would clam up and refuse to wee but after a few weeks she began to relax and go to the toilet without help. She's now drinking more and using the toilet 2-3 times at school. She's still refusing to use the big toilet at home unless it has her seat on it but managed to wee on a big toilet whilst we were out the other day.

I would have thought the more times she goes the more relaxed she will get.

Hello silverfrogs...sounds pretty hard on your dd, is she in pull ups at night? how old is she?

what does she like to drink? I give ds straws in his cup to encourage drinking, sometimes works, I also have a tiny jug and let him pour juice/milk into his cup, then if he drinks that he can get some more ...

my ds started potty training last July (no way could I get him near the toilet to start with) could you get dd a musical potty, it plays music when she pees?

could you start getting dd to sit more regularly, after breakfast, after lunch after tea, just to establish a routine, reward with stickers for sitting and trying, and chocolate for doing a pee?

ds really was amazing at holding onto pee, his record was from 7 p.m to 6 p.m the next day, I was soooo worried about him - I ended up putting him in ankle deep water in the bath and then he couldn't hold on,I would trickle water down his legs, run the taps..... I caught the pee in the potty, cheered him for peeing in the potty, even though it wasn't a real success. I did this up to three times a day. My ds can go to the loo now but, he still is reluctant to pee, maybe does 3/4 a day but he is more willing to go than when he started.Slow progress but we are getting there

Good luck.

Thanks. It sounds funny, but just the fact that someone is 'listening' to my rammblings really helps

I hope you're right, marne, and that she starts to relax the more she goes. I am hopeful that it is the change in routine that is worrying her.

Aefondkiss, dd1 is 4.5. She does wear a nappy overnight, as she is not reliably dry overnight (and i suspect I would not hear her if she called out to go to the toliet in the middle of the night [bad mother emoticon])

the drinking issues are of old. She has had issues since I changed her form bottles to cups when she was a baby. She drinks a pear/pinapple juice mix, and until 2 weeks ago would only drink it from the carton (lunchbox sized carton, with a straw). Nothing else was possible. We were relieved when she started drinking that, as prior to that she went for 9 months without drinking a single drop of fluids.

2 weeks ago the company discontinued the juice [tearing hair out emoticon]

we have (miraculously, i feel) managed to get her drinking the same juice (still available in 1 litre cartons) out of a toddler cup (she had been taking literally 2 sips of milk form these cups in the mornings, because her sister has milk then) so I think disaster is averted for now (touches wood frantically)

dd1 is not keen onpotties, thaks to an abortive attempt by her then nursery to train her when she was 2 (ffs!) so we decided to go straight to the toilet. She loves the whole routine of going - will ask nicely (at good intervals unless she is desperate), go there, remind me to put the seat on (we have the same big toilet issues as Marne), tur light on etc, sit happily reading a book, jump off, wash hands etc turn light off and leave announcing, almost sadly "maybe later have a wee"

the only problem with the whole thing is the letting go aspect. she gets chocolate and her fave dvd when she wees in the toilet (actually, as long as she has asked, and is moving towards the toilet she gets these even if she doesn't make it to the toilet, as don't want her to be put off weeing iyswim)