ASD and aggression - any advice please?

[Webstermum]

DS1 aged 9 has ASD and has lately turned horribly aggressive, towards me in particular. However have now found out he was shouting and being generally stroppy with MIL when she had him on Monday & she is not happy. My question is is this normal behaviour for 9 year old boys or is it the ASD?

Where is everyone this morning?????

Morning Webstermum - My Ds doesnt have ASD, well at least i dont think he does! He does have sensory modulation disorder, which is very similar to ASD in most respects.

I have found it very difficult to distinguish between normal behaviour and behaviour that stems from his disorder. I usually put it down to a bit of both and treat as normal behaviour regardless, just with a bit more sympathy i suppose.

I also have a angry 12 year old and he doesnt suffer with anything!!

Thanks claw Am trying to be sympathetic and get to the bottom of what's causing it but he won't even talk to me Nice to know I'm not alone though! Think I will try to see his teacher today & see if anything going on at school

Thats a good idea having a chat with his teacher to see if there is anything in school going on.

Have you changed any routines lately?

I find a lot of time kids get angry/frustated and dont even know why themselves. I have a 12 year old and 15 year old who cant always put into words how they are feeling. Also as they get older could even just be a case of pushing the boundaries.

That's what I'm not sure about. Because he's my eldest I dont know but have asked a few of his peers Mums it seems the general stroppiness and confrontation is pretty usual but not necessarily the aggression. DS2 is getting it in the neck too so I cant just let it go. No major changes though as we've learned over the years how important routine is to him. I told him I was sad because he didnt seem like my boy and he said he didnt know what I was talking about but I'm sure he must be aware of his anger. We used to do a volcano thing when he was younger to describe his feelings and when he was at the top of the volcano he was at bursting point. Seems to be like he's always at that point at the moment

You poor thing. I have found with ds who suffers with SMD, that i have had to be even firmer with him, than i did my older 2.

He tends to blame me for everything, it used to be the slightest thing, for example if he couldnt put his socks on, he would have a strop. 'I hate you' etc and he would even lash out at me. Now the 'i hate you' i could cope with, id just say something like oh thats a shame, because i love you. But i thought disorder and no disorder he needs to understand that he cant lash out at people because he was feeling angry and i would give him a time out!

He has got a lot better, but he is only 4.5, big age difference.