I'm in tears and terrified preschool are going to throw DS out.

[AmIWhatAndWhy]

Is anyone around for me to vent, and maybe help me call the school?

DS (3)ASD is at the most lovely preschool, they understand his problems and have been great but I feel we've let them down. He has only been in for an hour since christmas due to him having a D&V bug, then a bad cold, then me fracturing my coccyx so I couldn't push the double buggy to get him there as it was too far and caused too much pain.

I promised myself at the weekend he'd be in all week but yesterday we got a last minute appt for a hearing test so he didn't go in. I've just spent half an hour battling on the street outside our house with him, causing great entertainment for the nosy feckers driving by. He wouldn't go in the pushchair, he wouldn't walk, he kept shouting 'park' so I gave up and we went to the park, then when we got there he wanted to go home. He's now playing with his trains and ignoring any attempts to communicate with him.

I need to call them and let them know but I'm scared, I feel like the worst mother for not being able to handle this.

Handling an ASD child who doesn't want to do something is often slightly less easy than handling a herd of rampaging elephants.

I'd ring them and say that you're taking advice as it's proving very difficult to get him to go sometimes. Then see if the local autism charity/docs/whoever have some ideas.

How are you preparing him for the nursery? Are you able to use pictures/social stories to explain to him what will happen that day?

Meantime, hugs. You're not a bad mum. You're doing all you can. A good nursery will respect that and will help you to find the answers, not just chuck anyone out.

Thankyou you are very kind. It's good to hear a perspective other than mine which is emotionally fraught right now.

We are using pecs and once he gets there he charges in and he loves it. He made big improvements last term and I feel so sad he's missing out.

I'll call them now, it's worse to not let them know I guess. I may see if DP can go into work late tomorrow so we can take him in together.

I love your analogy btw, I will remember that it's so true.

I am sorry you are going through this at the moment. I would ring the pre school and explain, they will understand. My DD also missed lots of preschool due to illness, hospital appointments etc and they were fine with it.

You are not a bad mom, No advice re the ASD but someone who knows more will be along soon with advice.

The chances are that if you got him there he might have been in a meltdown anyway so you made the best call at the time.
Could you phase him back into nursery. That's what we did with ds. Maybe for one hour a day and then build up. So you could say to him - nursery first, then the park.
You are the expert in your child and his specific difficulties.

I am so sorry about your back and hope it recovers well.(did the same myself few years back- ds loves playing with water -I went flying)
I think just ringing up and being honest ( ds is in a particularly uncooperative mood and I couldn't get him there)is best. I had similar days and tussles and felt as you do. Just getting out the house - and then getting back again can be an uphill battle!!Can you take a picture of the preschool or a staff member he likes to show him? We used to have a tiny peg line with pictures on to try and explain preschool first then lunch ( I darent have put park on it but we always stopped at the park on the way home)
I dont know if this helps as all children (with ASD) are so different! I used to sing to my son using a specific tune for preschool. I used to sing silly word likes 'its time for preschool now' then later we're off to preschool now' 'in the car we go'( Yes to the tune from snow white Its off to work we go!!)The sillyness of the song used to help me stay chearful! Later on he would sing the tunes himself which is when I regretted choosing the irreverant 'Night night Ladies' as his nap song!

gosh - sounds like you've had a tough time lately! with all the illnesses, your routine must be all up in the air. i've found these now next later boards really useful to get ds into a routine.

you could explain to the preschool that you are trying to re-establish the routine and i'm sure they will understand.