ASD dcs and prechool experiences, share yours with me please?

[SammyK]

Have a thread in AIBU

here

and it got me thinkg, I think I am doing the right thing in sending him t preschool, what do you think?

How long did it take your dcs to finally settle in at preschool/nursery? Did they have the same issues my ds has? Did you find anything that helped?

Given it's going to ease the eventual transition to school, and he's getting weekly SALT, yes I think you are doing the right thing.

BTW my experience of the pre-school age was of severe lang delay, not ASD. DS's private nursery was a fairly disastrous experience - they were clueless about SN, and he was miserable (noone realised the extent of his receptive language difficulties, so he must hav e been absolutely bewildered). It didn't improve his language at all, but it did teach him basic social skills - sitting down with others for snack, sitting down for story time etc. 15 months later, when he started school nursery, he was much much happier. He settled pretty much immediately - on the 2nd morning he said to me as I got him dressed "nice nursery" which was a major feat given his language difficulties at that point.

TC I bet you nearly fell over when he said that.

How is your ds getting on? Not spoken to you for a while.

yes, and made me wonder just how awful he'ld found private nursery. going to private nursery completely screwed his sleep patterns - he went from being a decent sleeper - down between 8pm and 9.30 for the night - to an awful sleeper - some nights he didn't go down till 2 a.m. .

At the moment - he's getting on very well at school. Surprisingly well given he's got no 1-1 . His language is improving all the time - he's testing at normal range on the formal SALT tests, but in reality I feel conversationally he is about a year behind. His expressive speech can pass for low end of normal if he's got a toy or picture in front of him to natter about. He had quite a lot of SALT last 12 months, but I suspect he's not going to get much. I'm also worried about how he's going to cope in year1, when there's a lot more work and a lot less play. So suspect I'm going to have to gird myself for battle over the coming spring/summer.

I put my DS1 at the village preschool when he was 2.6. This was pre-dx but I had explained he was under SALT etc. It took him a month to settle without crying when I left but I started really struggling with the preschools attitude and they really did not grasp that he had difficulties. I think he was very passive there so if he wasn't creating a problem then he got overlooked. They were quite difficult when it came to SALT visits "oh we are very busy I will do my best" etc

It all came to a head after the 6 week summer holidays, they had moved location and DS had also recently toilet trained. I also mentioned that the SALT had told me that he didn't speak to the staff there so could they keep an eye on him toilet-wise as he was unlikely to approach them. He was distraught when I left and when I collected him I asked if he'd been to the toilet - "err I don't know, most of the children have" was the answer . Then another assistant strutted up to me, handed me DS1's car and painted and said "HE wouldn't say thank you so I am giving this to YOU instead". She only seemed quite proud of herself having taken a toy away from a not quite 3 year old and I thought wtf? I tried again to explain that he had communication difficulties but I was ushered away. (Incidently he flooded the dining room with an enormous wee the minute we got in the door).

I decided then and there that as preschool isn't compulsary I would take him out and try and find another one more willing to work with him. I found one 5 mins drive away and he settled instantly, no tears and had to be dragged out! So yes he was 3.1 by then but the attitude and atmoshphere was much better and I only wished I had looked around sooner. When we asked him where he wanted to go for his 3rd birthday he said "playschool!"

Maybe I was being overly precious about it all but I felt 2/3 was too young to be unhappy somewhere he didn't have to be.

Good luck with what you decide

I meant he was 2.11 not 3.1 when he started at his new preschool!

yes - that was very very similar to DS's experience at his first nursery (except the staff were nicer, if equivalently clueless), and went in more for hugging him all the time than nicking his toys. In particular the overlooking him as passive rings a bell.

I really wasn't aware of how he struggled with receptive language when I put him in preschool, he seems quite adept at masking it. His language did explode when we put him in so it did benefit him to a degree but I think if I'd had him a more suitable one we may have realised sooner that he was struggling to understand to the degree he was. His new one does lots of work to help him and he's made amazing leaps.

DS1 has only recently started displaying "behaviour" at his current preschool. Its not extreme or anything but he is quite passive in a group environment but he's certainly not passive at home!

Oh yes he was DX with ASD in December I don't think I'd mentioned that.

I've just thought of something else LOL. Probably 99% of the children at the village preschool would also have gone to the village primary school. His new preschool I doubt if any of them will be. I was quite focused on him having friends to go up to the school with BUT I am now of the view if he is well supported in his preschool and enjoys it the transition should be smoother than him being in a preschool that doesn't support him and where he's not been happy.

I'll shut up and go and tidy the kitchen now!

We put ds2 in pre-school prior do dx, and I found it done nothing for his language. Mainly because he didnt play with other children, but also because the teachers in my eyes were too busy with all the children to spend 1-1 time with my ds2. He only went 2 days a week, and I hoped it would socialise him and bring on his language, which it didnt.
He is now in a SN nursery for autistic children, and his language has improved ten fold, as he has the help he needs there.

Not much help from what I've said, but it is my experience.

DS1 attended preschool with no problems. Actually the very experienced teacher thought he was unique and something of a child genius and asked us to try and get him a scholarship to a local private.

If there was a local Montessori primary school I think i'd be desperate for a palce as that suited him so well.

DS3 was picked up at Nursery but they were fab with him.

I think its as simple as if you get the right place.

My ds found it very stressful in his first preschool and I had doubts whether it was actually benefiting him. Fortunately his SALT arranged for him to go to a SN's preschool, he still found it difficult but they had the experience to manage his behaviour.

It also helped with the transition to reception. They accompanied him on two separate occasions to his new school, did a photo book for him and spoke with his new teacher about his difficulties. Had I not sent him to pre-school he would have just had to jump straight into reception without any of this help.

Wow so many replies thanks so much for sharing your experiences. DS went back to nursery this morning as it was forest school day where they go to the 'woods' once a week.

DS has SALT mainly for social communication difficulties. He has a wide vocab range, but it is echolic and out of context. He expresses himself with sounds a lot (ie robot sounds), repeats things over and over, he also has trouble answering open ended questions where answers are not offered to him. So conversations are quirky to say the least!

When DS moved from afternoons to mornings they did him a photo book and it really helped.

I am now also concerned at how the other children are viewing and resonding to DS and I told a child off this morning for a snidey remark made about DS very loudly. Time for some circle time I think.

think I must hve been lucky my Ds issues were picked up before preschool and sencan wer einvolved so we had 1- 1 in place ( one of the preschool staff)and luckil shes has been brillian has gone above and beyond even doing courses in her own time eg amkton etc so once he leaves there ( have thought about tring bribery to get her toschool )will be leving thinsg wellset for anyone else