went to Sing and Sign and made a "fantastic" first impression :(

[misscutandstick]

went to sing and sign yesterday - the group are lovely. DS5 loved it! absolutely thoroughly enjoyed it!!!

However me on the other hand had one of those moments...

you know the "slap in the fae moments"? the ones that make you realise just how incredibly different your child is, when you were just seeing it as a "normality". I saw all the other kids aged 18-22 mths sitting and some signing... and then my 32mth child running in circles like a lunatic, flapping, squinting, swapping everyones shoes and licking the bright carpet , it was all tooo much.

and i ended up on a quivering mess. and heaps of . im not usually like that and accept that my child is different to others, but it was just so obvious HOW different he is and basically how is his future (both childhood and adulthood) going to work out???

PS i wasnt embarrassed at his behaviour, thats just him and he was really enjoying his time there, it was the quivering mess that i was in that caused the .

*face

oh you poor poor thing. I really sympathise, it was like what when DS was 3 and severely speech delayed and I took him to groups. I was far too chicken to go to sing and sign, as I had visions of it being full of 8 month old PFBs whose parents wanted them to talk mega early.

I'ld say - don't force yourself to go to these groups if you end up feeling wretched. Do you have any SN groups in your area?

oh, cani offer a hug?

I did sing and sign with dd1 when she was a baby (before I knew she was ASD, but I did know there was a delay there)

she loved it, but I hated it, for exactly the reasons you mentioned. It really seemed to bring home to me dd1's differences, in a way that tumbletots didn't, and I found it very hard to relate to any of the other mums (again, not something I found at tumbletots)

we had to stop going in the end, as dd1 loved it so much that she would be inconsolable when the class ended (would cry for 3 hours+) and I figured the 45 mins of happiness wasn't worth the hours of misery

(she also used ot start crying whenever someone sang out of tune , so i suspect they were happy to see the back of us )

I hope you enjoy next week's class a bit more

I've had - and still get - those moments.

i really noticed the difference at Jumping Jacks ( Scottish version of TumbleTots) when DS! was 2. He didn't want to join in and kept crying. However now at 4.10, he loves soft play and is good at turn taking (in a formal ASD way) so possibly he would be ok at JJ now - although he would tower above all the other participants. Time can change a lot of things.

thanks girls , i really appreciate your hugs and thoughts, and you always make me feel better xxx

TC - there are some SN groups, but not SN toddler groups and the other groups are once a month and always at a really silly inconvenient time (like 9-11, or 1-3).

The ladies were really nice and kept asking if they could help, and would i like to go chat privately and the co-ordinator was mortified that she had done something wrong . All the ladies that spoke to me asked me to go again next week, as they thought it would be good for us both. - I think i would like to, BUT i really dont want a million "are you alright this week?" type questions

yes - my experience is same as cyber - things have improved over last few years. As DS's language improved, his concentration improved.

Well done for actually going to a non SN group. Speaking from personal experience, these can be scary!

Me and ds2&3 went to a toddler group for the first time in over a year, mainly for ds3 (even though he is only 7 weeks). It went so much better than previous times, BUT there were noticable differences, especially with the repetative opening and closing of the toy kitchen cupboards.

I hope you go back next week. Does your DS5 calm down when he gets used to going to an unfamiliar place?

Well done for going.I took dd to sing and sign when she was2.5 and she really enjoyed it,despite doing a lot of shreiking and screeching whildt the mums of NT babies aged about 6 months-1 years dcs looked omn in horror as their little darlings behaved impeccably.Still dd liked it so I bit the bullet as it were.Not so good recently when I took her to a singing group with about 30 toddlers.I didn't feel very welcome (In fact posted on here one night in sadness)Only 1 mum spoke to me and turned out that as well as her little one she has a teenaged daughter with DS.I lasted 2 sessions then couldn't face it anymore

I found sing and sign to be lovely and once the gfroup got used to us it was nice.

Big sympathetic non mumsnettly hug

have just been to first playgroup session with DD and feel exactly the same!

Miss, I posted on yuor other thread.
Please keep going if you can.
I'm a SALT and also run private Sing & Sign sessions to which any child is welcome.

The child who made the most progress was a baby with DS. We all willed her on and rejoiced in her successes. Everyone learnt a lot from here.

(Incidentally at 18 months, she was putting two signs together often. A lot of children that age don't even use single words!)

Fanjo, cyber, bullet, silver: thanks for the reasurance - its nice to know im not the only one and its almost a 'normal' reaction. Makes me feel better!

5intheBed: i think it was a little overwhelming for him to have so many people 'looking' at him. My mum also suggested that next week he might not be so manic. THe co-ordingator also suggested that when he sees me joining in, he may be more interested in the group as opposed to being quite so active.

thanks everyone. X

gonna grit my teeth and ride out the kind wishes and hope we both have a better time next time. thanks again.