Am i over reacting?

[BeauticianNotMagician]

I am really worried about my ds1 aged 4.He has been having speech and language therapy for two years and following an assessment at the edwin lobo centre they sent me out a report stating that his social and language skills are equivalent to that of a two year old.I have also had a meeting with his nursery and a senco and they said he will need help at school and help to prepare him for school.

What does this mean is he autistic i cant get a straight answer off anyone and im scaring myself by reading too much on the internet.He shows signs of autism but doesnt tick all the boxes.He has a lot of language and uses most of it in the correct context but he is very shy and has barely any level of understanding ie i cant have a conversation with him.

Its hard to explain and right now i just feel like the most useless parent ever.

Also, try the Parent Partnership www.parentpartnership.org.uk, I found them incredibly helpful and they have endless information on Statementing. You can also ring them, if you need to talk someone and they can help and support you through the statementing process.

Yeah, I was really concerned as both Senco and ED Psych had mentioned "Special School" that a statement would mean I would have no choice in where my DD attended school, but the lady I spoke to at PP was very good and reassured me this was not the case. She also sent me wads of information on the Statementing process, which took absolutely ages to read but was very helpful.

Electra, initials of me EP are A.L.

Was adamant at the beginning that I wanted her to stay in mainstream but now I'm not so sure. Have worries about her getting bullied as she gets older and certainly in secondary school. Senco has suggested that I visit the special schools in my area to give me an insight so that I am more informed incase a Special school is advised on her statement.

BNM, I'm sorry too! Electra, I have my own thread under Special needs if you wish to carry on exchanging messages. It's under "8 yr old pushing me over the edge!"

Hi BNM,
Welcome to the SN board.
Lack of language might or might not mean that your son is autistic - there are a lot of crossovers between language disorder / autism and you'll find that there are quite a few posters on here (self included) whose kids come into the "grey area" between the two. My DD is 4.5 and her linguistic and social abilities are about 12-18 months delayed, but she's not autistic. However, like your DS she has big problems with comprehension and is starting to need help at school. Like a previous poster said, you probably need to see a developmental paed, ideally before your son starts school because then, if he needs help, you can get some in place.
You're not a bad parent, but we all feel like that sometimes!! I find that I'm actually stricter with DD than some of my friends are with their kids simply because everything has to be really clear cut for her or she won't get it, and it takes twice as long to drum something into her head...and she can also go into hysterical sobs over practically nothing sometimes.
Hope you can find a good paed to help you on your way soon!
Brio.

Hi sorry i needed to take a break im really working myself up.Im so glad i came on here and really hope i can get an appointment with a paed.

BriocheDoree i mentioned to ds1s keyworker that i thought he may have autism and she completely dismissed it.I dont know i hope it is just a delay but his understanding really has not improved and i worry about him with regards to road safety etc.I think i just need someone to say ok this is the problem and this isnt if you see what i mean otherwise i will feel like im stuck in limbo because the senco and salt telling me they will keep assessing him for improvement just isnt good enough anymore.

Hiya i am new to the site, as i discovered the thread whilst reading up about statementing. We moved here from another district where my son, who has only been diagnosed with global developmental delay in all areas, it is v.hard as its long process, he was diagnosed with this in 2007 by a consultant paediatrician, he was just turning 5, but was put at the learning age of 2 and a half, now we had been fighting for all this since pre school, which included speech/occupational therapy, it was only with the help of my old health visitor who was fantastic, and the child psyc who was also head of the statement panel, that we got max hours of 27 and a half hours of statementing, and we fought long and hard for it. So now we move here and my son started school sept gone, they automatically said beds would cut 7 hrs off, i am so upset with this, we are having to run around ourselves to get everyone involved this end, which is not on, but no one seems to care. Considering he is still in nappies, he has just turned six, he cant count to five, and he just about writes 2 letters of his name, all this is supposed to be progress, and thats all he has managed to achieve in a yr and a half, i feel so let down, but no doubt my son will just go down as another statistic. Just out of curiosity, how many of u have the statementing in place, and how many hours have u got, whats the norm amount in beds. Thanks.

Hi i wanted to re visit this thread and say thank you for all your advice last time.Ds1 was diagnosed with ASD today.I found the Dr very vague and i just wanted to ask what happens next.Do i need to try and get a statement now?

Hi, glad you got an answer and hope you don't feel like a useless parent now!

What happens next is you start to look at what he needs e.g. more SALT, CAMHS input, more help at school etc. Start with your council website and look at what services they offer. There may be a specialist autism service, for example. You could also ask for a social worker assessment as they usually know a lot about what services there are out there (hopefully!).

You need to apply for a Statement if your son needs extra help at school over and above what the school can offer without a Statement. He won't get one because of an autism diagnosis, but it will help them to understand and sort of verify his needs. He will get a Statement if his needs are great enough to need one.

It can be a very confusing time and, more importantly than googling all kinds of services, you must make time for yourself to relax a bit, if possible. I nearly went mad googling everything and don't recommend it. You'll need energy to deal with everything so some time out is essential.

xx

Hi BeauticianNotMagician
I have had an informal diagnosis of ASD for my son and I came on here feeling lost, upset and unsure of the next step. The folks on this board have been amazingly supportive. I just wanted to let you know about BIBIC. I haven't been yet but have sent off for the information pack. A few people on here recommended it as they conduct assessments over a 2 day period with a team comprising of all different professionals and put together what they think would be the best possible action plan for your child. I liked the idea of this as I am unsure as to where to go next. If you google it, you will find further info and also search on here. Sorry for the waffling!