AIBU to feel annoyed at the ASBO comments????????????

[BONKERZ]

DH reckons im being over sensitive, I dont know if i am!

You may know that my DS who is 8 has ASD and ODD and is in a special school after being excluded from 2 MS schools.

DHs family, mainly SIL (who is a teacher!) and FIL have started to call DS an ASBO boy!

For a while i thought it was funny but the longer its gone on the more i realise they really do think DS is heading that way! What makes it worse is i still dont know how to handle his behaviour so end up crying if he has a meltdown and we are at MILs house as im fed up of feeling like a failure.
The ASBO comments just make me feel like they think im making excuses for DS.

Thing is i have noticed there is less tolerence for DS lately and have stopped taking DS round to MIL if other nephews and nieces are there as DS cannot cope.

Whats more worrying is that SIL is getting married later this month and im dreading it. Have had to have discussions with SIL about DS wearing black trainers to the wedding as he will not wear shoes and have asked SIL to seat me and DH on a table near a door incase we have to remove DS but she is not happy with this as seating plan means we are in middle of big room on a central table which will make it awkward to remove DS is he is struggling - which he will! - obviously me and DH are trying to find ways of helping DS on the day (borrowing a DS so he can lose himself!, Using money and star charts for immediate and over the top praise on the day etc)

i think im just feeling very fragile at the moment about DS and feel i am not capable of handling him in certain situations and the ASBO comments are doing nothing to help with my confidence.
SIL did make a comments tonight about me (in her words) ASBO son and i said i thought she had typed it wrong and did she mean ASD/ODD son and she signed out of MSN.

Sorry for the rant!

Don't blame you.

(tongue in cheek) thought, make up some A5 sheets with an explanation of your ds for any grumblers at the wedding and make them A2 size for SIL et al.

Ds enjoyed taking pictures with disposable cameras at my brothers wedding. It gave him an excuse to wander around once the formal bit was over. He was young enough to get away with his rather unusual speachless approach! He got some very unusual pictures but it kept him occupied with a mission!! The DS is a good idea as is the preparation. If you have to sit centrally is there a suitable comfy corner you could go to in the event of needing a breather. Also are their other family members who could help in whatever way is most suitable. Ds (who has LD as well as asd and is partial to licking cake) made a grab for the cake at one point and at least 3 sets of allert hands saved the day!
Hope it goes well.