how do I

[hornswoggle]

avoid going to my family for Christmas dinner?

My Ds is 9 and has AS, he is doing fantastic, school are being great, after an awful year last year i,m really pleased how he is doing and its nice not to be stressed out about red tape and getting supports......

I'm so proud of him, he is doing so well, doing football, choir and lots of other new things

but I was told today by my sister she 'hates it when he's like that'

this is a bit annoying as she has had a lot going on this year and my niece is a bit of a nightmare at the mo

so its a bit 'well its not my child who's wrong' on both sides, but I know I've been doing the salt, ot, social skills groups day in and day out for years..this is who he is.........

she lives across the road from us and my mum is coming for dinner in her house too

I don't want him to be around anyone negative now and sitting at a table for Christmas dinner will not bring out his good side

what can I say so I don't cause a big family row?

my god

I've just seen how lucky I am!

Last year I spent Christmas day sitting on my own reading through the SN boards

I posted in SN as I cant get my family to see, its not because I cant be bothered it's because he has AS, and he is really really trying

then they say he's bold

I suspect that whatever you say it will cause a row tbh. I think the only option that is going to save your sanity is to announce that you're going to be starting a new tradition this year where you and ds are going to spend Christmas at home. If you want you could offer to call round for an hour or whatever you can stand either in the morning or after Christmas dinner.

They will no doubt rant and rave and tell you that you're selfish etc but, from the sounds of things, they're not exactly all sweetness and light to you the rest of the year anyway. Stick to your guns. When next Christmas comes around it will become even easier to say "We're spending Christmas at home" and by the 3rd year it will be such an established routine that they will either have given up inviting you or they will have resigned themselves to it.

Good luck.