DLA form... gosh that was traumatic......and Advice pls

[Novacane]

Hi all,

Had a lady from the Carer's resource come today to fill out a DLA form for my DS. He has a significant language impairment (both receptive and expressive) and possible ASD (we find out at multi disciplinary on the 13th Jan)

TBH I am completely blown away by it all. I said to my friend that I feel like I am on a magic carpet ride (a bumpy one!) and I want to get off! All the assesments, appts, filling forms are getting to me a bit. The thought of claiming to DLA hit me like a smack in the face, my DS is an only and I have nothing to compare him to, so when the lady started explaining all the things in the forms, I just didn't realise all the extra help he needs. This has of course upset me, I am no where near accepting that my DS has special needs. She said I will probably qualify for middle but more likely high care, and I tohught I was being a fraud for even considering applying. That shows how much I am either naive or in denial... u tell me lol.

She said something about mobility when he was 5 cos of his lack of stranger danger and danger, but my head was reeling so didnt really understand, and also another carers allowance? is this only when you get the mobility aswell? I work so dont know if i would qualify for that though.

Have to say the lady form the carers resource was fantastic, I couldn't and definately wouldnt have been strong enough to do it withouht her.

thanks for listening!

Thanks for the heads up Tclanger, I have read your blog in the past and have recognised many similarities. I am still in freefall, although I have known from about 16mths old (when i first brought it up at the GP) that something wasn't quite right.

The issue ATM is wether his speech and language impairment is causing his social diffs or whether it is ASD.

My DP is great really, he has accepted things and just wants all the help he needs, whereas i'm still blown away by it all. Wine helps lol.

Hi, I've not gone down the DLA route ?yet, but just wanted to say hello, as I have a boy with similar language problems who is a similar age (4.8). Glad that you had support when filling in the DLA form. Think you definitely deserve a glass or three of wine after dealing with that!

Hi Nova

I'm the other way round to you so to speak as we had the mult-disciplinary assessment on Monday and have a dx for DS1 of ASD and I am now looking into DLA (thanks to the kind post from another mumsnetter). By chance the SALT who was present at the assessment rang today and I mentioned DLA to her and they were going to tell me about it after the DX but felt due to my blubbing wreck state it wasn't the best time to discuss it.

I can relate to the magic carpet ride feeling you describe and although I knew ASD was a possibility I am still getting used to the DX and have been very up and down.
My current mantra is "its all about accessing the help he needs". Not sure what tomrorow's one will be maybe something involving beer and chocolate

I had no idea TC, when the liason HV that is dealing with his ASD assesment came to see me, she referred me onto the carer's resource. I would have had no idea otherwise.

anyway, its lovely to chat, all my friends have 'normal' kids, I still feel a bit out on a limb and 'why did this happen', still blaming myself etc.... In no way disrespecting the other guys on here, just being honest as to where i'm at.

for once my lovely, cheeky, smiley DS had gone to sleep early (he rose at 5.45am this am). I am so lucky to have him, and if I could wrap him in a protective bubble we would be okay for ever and ever. Its the big bad world thats is the problem lol x

NFAH, thats what my DP keeps saying, - 'as long as he gets as much support he needs nova, we need to play the game, a Dx is only words, but if it open doors..'

Yes, I've been having a good go at blaming myself, the poor SALT today had to listen to my list off all the things I had done wrong (going back to the day I went into labour!) . Apparently its normal to do this but she didn't agree with any of my theories either .

Hi Novacane, first to answer your questions. If you are awarded middle or high care DLA you may be entitled to carers allowance (I think you have to earn less than £95 a week and not be studying). The mobility part of DLA is age dependent. The lower rate starts at age 5, and is awarded for people who need significantly more supervision/help when out and about.
I felt a fraud applying for DLA for my son ( who has LD and ASD) and did not do it till he was nearly 9! (Actually I did not know about it - and then I sat on it for a year). As a parent I can always see progress and little changes, and celebrate these things. I see my son as having additional support needs. All children have support needs so the word disabled seems inappropriate in little children who develop differently to others.
Do claim though - I cried when I got the 1st payment- first for my son whom I am just accepting is disabled, and then for all the years of financial struggle - the therapies we could have afforded that may have helped--!

Thanks for that Magso, it;s a bit clearer now.

The trauma of xmas shopping today was nearly as bad! And I've got to do it again tomorrow!