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Our special needs son in incident with autistic girl at school today - feel terrible

8 replies

SunflowerMum · 16/12/2008 21:16

Hi, been lurking on here for months but something happened today to make me reveal myself
Our 5-year old Reception son was set upon by a 7 year-old autistic girl in the playground this afternoon completely out of the blue, apparently she was bashing his head into a wall/fence (the adults didn't see so the story has been relayed by his friends, he finds it difficult to communicate at the best of times - something in the autism spectrum which we haven't yet pinned down). To their credit his classmates 'saved' him and looked after him, the school rang me straight away and I picked him up early, I found him sitting on the floor with the rest of his classmates and teacher and they were all having a really kind chat about what happened, while he just sat there with the tears quietly streaming down his face On the positive side, it was lovely to see how his friends seem to care and are so protective of him, and were all very keen to tell me how they'd looked after him The school have since phoned, they're so sorry, they're saying and doing all the right things and they'll ensure he's not in contact with her again without adult supervision. The child immediately admitted what she'd done and, physically, there isn't a mark on him. However he seems so down about the whole thing, kept crying this afternoon and saying 'the girl pushed me into the gate' and sobbing, I've never ever seen him so upset before, he seems utterly bewildered by the incident and I feel so helpless, it's heartbreaking. We'd made so much progress at the school, he was really starting to come out of his shell and get comfortable there and this feels like it has the potential to set us back months. Yet the school has been so fantastic and supportive of us from day one, and how can you be angry and blame another child whose needs are so much greater than those of your own child? So I guess I'm just looking for a bit of tlc or something...

OP posts:
HassledElf · 16/12/2008 21:23

It seems as if the school have handled it well and your DS has some fantastic classmates; he will get past this quickly enough, and if you just keep emphasizing how he has the support and friendship of his classmates, how they all really care about him etc, that might become a bigger deal in his mind than the actual violence, IYSWIM.

MadLyCarrolingChristmasMouse · 16/12/2008 21:24

Looks like you and your ds need a lot of tlc

You are being very nice and understanding about this, that is great, and if I was the parent of the girl I would be eternally grateful to you!

but it is a shocking incident for your ds and it will have an impact for a while to come.

so that this happened while he was doing so well.

I hope that the school will offer more than words and actively help your son to find his feet again.

RaggedRobin · 16/12/2008 21:52

awww poor thing. just want to echo that it would be great if all other parents were as understanding as you when something like this happens. hope ds feels better soon.

Tclanger · 16/12/2008 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feelingbitfestive · 16/12/2008 22:57

at his lovely friends, bless 'em. Does he/is he able to understand that it's not him personally? Is he aware of his own SN (tho he is very young) to understand that the girl has different SNs that makes her react that way?
You sound like you've done brilliantly - it is nice to hear the 'other side' being so understanding, if only everyone was (not that I have personal experience, just reading other Mums threads ). Hopefully, as time passes (and Santa calls) this incident will be forgotten - with lots of praise for how well he handled it.
Well done all of you xx

Tclanger · 16/12/2008 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cory · 17/12/2008 08:12

Big hug!!!- and virtual flowers to his friends who looked out for him. My ds had a lot of trouble with an aggressive little boy in infants and early juniors but his friends rallied round and that was a great feeling.

SunflowerMum · 29/12/2008 11:56

Thank you so much all of you for your support and kind words, I can't believe I haven't thanked you before . He seems to be back to his old self, plus he was happy to go to school for the rest of the week which we hoped was a really good sign. The school even moved the nativity play around so that the girl was on the other side of the room from him, they've been really fantastic. They spoke to the parents on the day it happened though we didn't hear anything from them. Our son has mentioned the incident a couple of times but seems much better and absolutely loved Christmas - really 'got it' this year for the first time really. So hopefully moving onwards and upwards now - Happy New Year to you all!

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