My firends new born baby has Down's Syndrome. How can I support her best?

[Getthekettleon]

Hi,

I have just discovered that my friends little baby has Downs Syndrome. The Baby has a normal heart and is healthy which is great.

I can not imagine how they must be feeling. I was wondering if anybody out there has some advise for me as her friend on how I can help and support her best?

I'm worried about saying the wrong thing. We have been texting but I am nervous about meeting her face to face and meeting the little one, partiularly as I have a baby myself.

Thank you.

Can't help you myself but this lovely thread may help you. Good luck to you both xx

They are probably feeling a bit shocked if they didn't know already and scared for the future. But also huge amounts of love for their new child. Send a card and gift and don't be any different with them.

As thenewme says, don't be any different with them. Each person that's born on this earth is an individual worthy of love and respect, not a 'disability'. See the person, not what's different. Value their lovely little one for who they are, not what they aren't. Listen, be a friend, refuse to take part in the grand "everyone must be perfect" thing that society seems to think is so important. We're none of us perfect, none of us more important than someone else. I truly believe that.

Tips on what not to say? Don't say you're 'sorry'. Don't talk about the baby about 'suffering' and being 'brave'. Don't assume that the future will be awful. It'll be a bit different here and there, but the world needs to be big enough to have a bit of difference in it .

And send our love to the little one - may life (and God) bless them and those who are in their lives.

I haven't got much to add but try and see them as soon as possible with a present and card. You could help out with finding out about local down's syndrome groups so that the information is there when they feel ready for it.

It is wonderful that the baby is well and has no heart problems.

I have a 15 month old dd who has Down Syndrome and its funny to think back to 15 months ago when dd was a newborn and it seemed quite scary to have a child with DS. Now dont get me wrong I still have moments where I worry about her future and what may or may not be. But where we are now seems a million miles away from those early scary days because dd brings so much fun, love and joy to our lives.

I'm trying to remember what I found useful as a new mum and I think I just liked it when people were normal with us. So like others on here have suggested go round see your friends baby and treat her like you would any other new baby. Coo that he/she is gorgeous, because I bet they will be and ask the normal questions you would when going to see any new baby.

This might be useful - The Down Syndrome Association does a leaflet that is aimed at people just like yourself whose friends/family have just had a baby with DS. Its called Down Syndrome a leaflet for friends and family. Here is a link (i hope)

www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/resources/publications/general.html

All the best to you - your a lovely friend for being considerate and thinking about how you can support your friend.

Thanks you so much for all of your post's. I really do feel so much better.

I've read everything in the thread 'feelingbitfestive' sent and that was amasing, very interesting and heartwarming. There are some amasing people out there.

Amester, Thank you so much. I've been on the DSA website and it is excellent, very helpful and it was so lovely to see all the pictures of the absolutley beauitful children and babies. I feel so much more confident than I did this morning.

Thanks again!

I have just read your post. I was the mother who had just given birth to a son with downs. I only found this out after birth. I discharged myself and didn't want to see any of my friends etc. I got my mam to phone around to say I had had the baby and what he was etc. So I felt a sense of relief there to realise my friends were possibly exactly in the same position as me.

Hi My Freinds 9 month old boy has been told he has down syndrome, he dosent look down syndrome (will this develop of is it only from birth) but is affected in other ways ie slow development with sitting and motivation.
is this possible she is very worried about his future.

looking forward to your adds

Hayley

Hi Htucker,
If it helps I have the gorgeous downs son who didn't look this for the first year or so. As he has got older it has become more noticable. He is also very severe. In a hurry at mo but will be back l8r.

Hi
thank you for your reply,sorry to hear about your little one.
My friends little boy has MDS - Mosaic Down Syndrome,

dose anyone know little more about this i have looked through websites , but feel i still dont understand this?? one of you may understand it

Regards
Hayley

Hi, my understanding of mosaic downs is they do have the features but not the learning disability. Hope this helps or someone else knows. Take care.

Hi,

No he dosent have any of the features although his middle finger is bent in on both hands more on the left than right he tends to stretch it out when he wants too.
other than that hes fine he will be 1 end of march and is only just sitting up on his own properly and tilts his head to the left.
Hes not rolling over or atemping to crawl hopefully this will come in time. Everyday hes doing a little more and its only over the past week he is really progressing!

Hayley