I now have the full assessment report so I thought I'd update this as Kettlechip and Ragged were interested to hear more (I think!).
For some reason they have stated DS1 lashes out at other children when he is frustrated. I have no idea where they go this from. He does occasionally push DS2 but no more so than any of NT peers and preschool have said that he has never lashed out at a child there. (in fact he goes up and cuddles other children but they don't always take so kindly to this yet he doesn't retaliate at all). So I will be writing to get that corrected.
Anyway on to the test bits of the report. They did the ADOS but haven't included his scores so I will be writing to find out as I think we're going to look at private options.
On his language and communication:
he appears to have quite a lot of language but closer assessment suggests that the phrases are quite similar and learnt, rather than being created specifically for the situation. e.g. when the tharpist blew up a balloon and let it go DS1 said "the wind blew it faster and faster" which is from a book.
He has a distinctive intonation pattern that seems to relate more to the context in which he had learn the phrases than the situation he was in e.g. when he commented on the position of the balls he had thrown he said "they're behind me" pantomime style.
He pointed to objects to share interest e.g. he pointed under the bed and said "what's that under there"? He nodded and shook his head and gestured "big" with his hands but they felt he used less gestures than expected of a child his age.
He is progressing with his language development but still seems to find it difficult to use this language to communicate effectively for a range of purposes.
Social Interaction:
His eye contact was variable, he did make it appropriately but often had a blank stare or gaze was not directed at the therapists eyes. He used very little facial expression even when he appeared animated by an activity.
He did respond to bids of joint shared attention and also laughed and smiled when he enjoyed some of the games and remained engaged and requested more.
The said he was a little boy happy to engage but often found it difficult to initiate interaction appropriate to the situation. e.g. one therapist had the bubble liquid and the other had the blower and he made it obvious he wanted the therapist to pass the liquid over as he kept looking between them but wasn't able to verbally ask to make his desire known.
Play:
He happily joined in the pretend birthday scenario but on occasions he did not respond to the therapist's agenda and kept to his own. He showed some simple pretend play with some small dolls and furniture, using a miniature bottle to pretend to pour into the toy jug and petrol into the fire engine. He accepted being played alongside but did not respond to suggestions to extend the play e.e.g it was suggested the characters play football but he just continued to put the characters in a jug. He seemed to struggle with problem sloving tasks, being unable to place puzzle pieces on a shape board and appeared to want to place them as if onto an inset board.
He enjoyed looking at a story book and engaged with the therapist's questions with simple comments describing the pictures. However he did not appear to follow the underlying theme of the story.
From my POV DS1 is doing really well; he's made a proper little friend at preschool that he plays with rather than alongside. At softplay, play-dates etc as long as either a parent or the other child initiates the play DS1 plays really well with other children. He's language has come on loads again and he has gone from being a bit muddled on who/where/what etc to having it nailed and asks lots of appropriate questions now. We aren't getting the support we were promised but that's another issue I am tackling....