why does mn have a SN topic and an SEN topic?

[2AdventSevenfoldShoes]

?

When was this theramones? Maybe I'm naive but I just can't imagine it happening now.

In all honesty it was about 18 months ago.
I was in such a bad place at the time, ds was about 7 and the future hit me, iynwim, that it was the last thing I needed. Things are ok now. But I never actively go on the SN and SEN boards anymore. (Although if I spot a question I can answer in active convo, I will.)

I think it's hard to call the board a less friendly place on the strength of one ill-advised post title, whose OP kept apologising profusely the moment she realised that she had put her foot in it. If I found the right thread, that is. I think she was genuinely upset at the thought that she had upset you.

I am probably in a minority here, as my dd has neither learning nor behavioural disabilities, but have always been touched by the support offered me by parents who are struggling with totally different situations.

I personally think posters having the option to post on either the SN or SEN boards is a good idea.

I know of several people both online and personally who would benefit more from posting on one board rather than the other and vice versa. It all comes down to what you are most comfortable with and choice can never be a bad thing, can it?

Have to say I am incredibly at the fact that someone was told that they shouldn't of posted because their DC had the 'wrong' disability.

I have used MN for some time now, almost exclusively on the SN board and have always found it extremely supportive and not discriminatory in any way.

I have two children who have different SN's, each facing very different challenges but without doubt I have received more help, support and knowledge from this board than I have from anywhere else both online/offline.

Although it can be said that this is a sad indication at the state of some of our statutory organisations, that doesn't take away just how valuable both as a resource and as a place of support the SN board has been to me.

It is outrageous for anyone to have suggested that anyone else shouldn't be posting on this board and I would like to think that this would not happen now, so much so that I have often witnessed and experienced posters posting on threads that they have no relevant experience of, but wanted the OP to know that they were not being ignored and even actively contacting other posters that they know would be able to help and pointing them in the direction of the thread.

So for those who have had bad experiences in the past, please consider giving the board another chance, as for me it is the diversity and wealth of knowledge and different experiences that makes this board so successful.

Sorry if none of this makes any sense, but it is 2am and is turning out to be one of those nights, iykwim.

cory it wasn't that person. it was some of the other people, who made comments.

I see. Still, it's not the whole of the board; there are a lot of good supportive people on here. Don't leave the board- it needs you.

I think sometimes parents of children who are borderline or undiagnosed can get a bit defensive. I know it happened to me; after a few years of being told that there was nothing wrong with dd and that I was not allowed to use the term disabled, I seemed to see that attitude in the most innocuous remark. Just wondering if that could have affected some of the responses to you.

oh god 2shoes, it was after that awful poem was it.

theramones OMG that's awful. How dare they assume your or your child's 'needs' are any less severe or important as theirs. You must ignore these hideous people.

We post here for support, whether it be practical or emotional. I agree the SN area can be clique, but relationships have been borne here and thrived.

Don't give up, there will always be somebody who will give you an 'adult' opinion. Parents/carers having bad days and trapped so far in their own bubbles should stay well away from other peoples posts !

ah, I'm probably on the wrong thread then, can't find any poem

I am conscious at times that there is a lot of autism/language problems discussion which sometimes swamps out the other SNs. There could be an 'ASD' forum but then there might be a need for an 'Aspergers' and an 'Autism' forums as the needs are not always the same. We could go on 'Balkanising' until everyone has her own forum - which would stop misunderstandings and disagreements breaking out.. It shouldn't be a competiton to have the most or the least affected child but as the range of needs is diverse, it's hard to always avoid saying the wrong thing at times.

Oh dear.
This is the last thing we I we want isn't it?
Up until I joined this board I knew nothing about anything and I enjoy reading and learning and educating myself about all disabilities. The more people share, the more we learn. I have had so much useful and worthwhile info from this board, far far more than in RL - from all posters.
I like to read and learn about the 'spectrum' families even tho its not something that I have personal experience of. And I suppose little sub-groups do naturally form (I'm forever stalking NMC, for example ) as we are on a similar path.
But to feel that you cannot post because your problems 'don't fit' makes me sad. And, selfishly, I'd hate to think people weren't posting who could be a source of info and help for me!
2shoes I like to read your posts - they always make me look at the positives, even when there are not many about, and hope you will not desert us for SKITUK (tis very quiet on there, compared to here!)

I know I for one, am feeling particularly stressed at the mo - pissed that the beautiful boy is struggling and sad that our first christmas together is not going to be the ocaission I'd hoped for. I haven't posted much because of this, but I hope that when I have, I haven't offended anyone. If I have, I apologise.

Alfiemama I don't think it was that poem - tho it awful - it was done with the best of intentions and that is very sweet.

I have found the sn board very supportive and helpful. When I first joined it was the only support I got and you lovely helpful lot (you too 2 shoes!!) will never know how important that was!
We do have different lives so cant always know what another needs or what to suggest. I do not know verymuch about CP so do not usually have the experience to post useful things on CP threads. However I value the comments advice and support from all. We are all at different stages of learning about our childrens needs. Parents in the early stages of recognition/diagnosis/ acceptance are likely to need support from both the more experienced as well as people going through similar experiences. Those new to sn are less likely to have the knowledge (or confidence) to help the more experienced posters or answer the more complex questions.
I would like to think we can all support each other whatever our support needs are. Speaking for myself I am rather in awe of some of the longer standing members of the sn board - often coping with much more challenging sn and far better than I!
The SEN board is fairy specific and good for getting advice from teachers.

Oh dear - I didn't even realise that there were two different boards.

Where the hell have I been posting for the last 2 yrs?!

Don't we need two different boards though. Surely it is possible to have SEN and not have SN generally. I am thinking of things like dyslexia which are very specific to education (although of course it has implications for the rest of life - I don't mean to underestimate that obviously).

I do find it shocking that there are some of you who feel that they are being forced off these boards, or at least not made to feel welcome. That isn't what it is about at all. Surely the thing that we all share is the concern and love we have for our children. How can anybody tell another person that their concerns are not as valid. That is clearly nonsense.

Oh goodness I have an awful feeling that I'm contributing to the ASD-information-overload on here, but I'm always really pleased to read everyone's posts so really hope that no-one leaves

Its hard for someone relatively new to SN/SEN to know where to post their questions though 2shoes. DS2 isn't at school yet so he obviously doesn't have any special educational needs but he DOES have special needs that i wouldn't necessarily give to my other children. I am also only just going thru the process of assessments with him, yes it may turn out to be ASD but that is a special need is it not?

Does that make sense?

I think i know the thread you are referring to and i was a bit that it was in SN but it wasn't aimed at you, and i don't recall you being told you were being competitive but i havenlt read the thread back since so i may have missed it.

I have no idea if ds1 is sn or en, so ost here as I feel I belong here, but if I had a q re ds2's dyslexia it would be SEN defiinitely

"Shoes, you want me yo get them for you, whever said that?

I can honestly say I have never seen a 'competitive' comment and have always found this board to be very welcoming and inclusive. Maybe I am naive, but I hope I'm not. It's awful to think that some of us are being hurt and made to feel out of place.

Sometimes certain topics do seem to take over, but i still try to have a read thru even if they are not applicable to me - like Fios blue badge thread. Don't have a blue badge and don't know th rules and regs, so on the surface couldn't help, but posted anyway!

I usually post on SN, although DS2's problems overlap both of them. I just prefer it here.

I don't post frequently enough to have formed relationships/ bonds with anybody but do recognise people and am always grateful for advice which is always forthcoming and honest. Nobody skirts round the subject like the professionals do!

2shoes, although our children have very different problems whenever you have answered any of my threads you have always been positive and helpful, as have other parents whose children are very different to mine. It's nice - don't go.

oh good this thread has gone the way I intended, and HIGHLIGHTED the fact ALL OF US have a place on this board,
whether our dc's have big disabilities or small.
support is what we all need.

I'd second that. Special needs-world can be a very isolating place--being on here, I like to think there are other people who know where I'm coming from, even if I have nothing to actually say, and end up lurking, IYSWIM.

Phew (checks rug still there)- so all welcome then!

And even us 19 yr old non-parent types with rotten sight feel comfortable here! You lot have turned me from a person who knew a bit about only 2 types of disability (paralysis and visual impairment) into a person who knows a little bit about lots of different sn's now.

And actually, this "competitive" thing has spread to my generation. I used to share a taxi to college with a lad with SMA who came out with little gems such as:

"I find it funny that I'm more disabled than you, and I can drive and you can't" (thanks for reminding me mate!)

"You don't seem disabled enough to need transport" (yet he went on about how he would get the bus to go out with his mates. I could've but there were no safe bus stops for me to use near home).