Has counselling helped?

[vixies]

My ds has global developmental delay.Loads of tests but no reason why yet. Today we saw his development dr, who said probably a 50/50 chance of him attending a mainstream school. She also said we're probably eligible for DLA as he is pretty hard work to look after.
Dh still in denial/looking at all positives. I'm very much the other end of the spectrum. Has anyone here had counselling, and if so did it help?

hi vixies, I feel for you, I was feeling really low this time last year when all the uncertainty really started to get to me, and I booked a counselling session through my GP. By the time I got to the top of the waiting list 6 weeks later I was feeling much better and the counsellor concluded after 15 mins that I didn't need counselling..! I wasn't in a rush to go back to her, she responded to my concerns about ds (possible HFA / lang disorder) by saying, "oh, you'll cope" and then proceeding to reel off the achievements of her own dc's. It was really inappropriate and I briefly considered complaining about her.
Not to put you off though, I've read of many people who've found that it helps. DH and I are similar to you and your dh, and it can be a strain when you see things from different perspectives. I've found a couple of close friends have been brilliant, and let me pour it out, and also everyone on here where you can say what you like without fear of judgement.

Thank you. I'd come on here more if I had more time, and I think it is more common for men to be like they are. We both have to work full time, though I do 2 days from home, but everyone I know is 'normal' and I know I'm very down at the moment. I'm just worries counselling might be like yours, and make it worse!

Hi Vixies

My DS2 was diagnosed with autism in February 07 and after feeling completely shit for months and months and months, eventually started counselling in October this year. Have to say I did it with major butterflys in my tummy (to say the least!). My DP was much more accepting of the diagnosis than I was so that kind of put a barrier up, so I really felt that I didn't have anyone to share how I was really feeling.

I think it depends on the counsellor but it has been one of the most beneficial things I have ever done. I feel totally different now about it all and that was with just a few sessions. It was such a relief.

My experience has been extremely positive and I would definitely recommend it. However, if you do go ahead and you don't gel with your counsellor try another.

Thanks. What you say about having no-one to share it with really strikes a chord. Dh and all grandparents think everything will be fine and I'm over-reacting; the doctor today when I said this said she would go along more with me. I think I may try some counselling and see how it goes. Apart from being so busy another reason I don't come on here as much as I perhaps should is that I think I need to come to terms with myself first, I veer from wallowing in self pity to denial and everything in between. But I love my boy, so much it hurts, I just don't want a hard life for him. Thank you ladies for replying.

Hi Vixies, what do you hope to achieve?

If you feel you need coping strategies a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy may help

If you just need to talk and talk to get things straight in your head then a person centered counsellor will be helpful.

I just finished a course of 8 session of person centered counselling where I decided what to talk about and the counsellor listens and occasionally probes.

It has helped me make sense of how I feel atm, how I felt when Nathan was in NICU and the difference in me then and now. It has helped me to untangle a cluttered mess of thoughts that I never came around to thinking through properly.

kettlechip! The problem is, anyone can call themselves a counsellor--even if they've received no training at all. You'd think a GP might be capable of finding someone competent, but it's not an area many of them know about, sadly.

Vixies, does your Child Development Centre (if you have one) offer any family therapy sessions? Ours does and the (free) sessions have been great for getting DH and I talking about the different ways we tackle DD's GDD and help DS manage his emotions. I've also had psychotherapy, which I was having anyway, before DD came along.

Otherwise, to find out more about counselling and psychotherapy, may I point you in the direction of the British Association for Counselling & Psycotherapy which has a telephone helpline too.

Good luck!