ASD DS - diet concerns and guilt

[SammyK]

DS is 4 yrs old, and is on the AS (aspergers we think - still being dx'd).

He has sensory issues,

he doesn't like his teeth brushed, hair brushed/washed, nails cut - insists it hurts

he also refuses foo that is hot and wet.

We do his teeth and hair, but with resistance and obviously not good enough as he needs 3 teeth out due to decay!!!

I feel awful about this, really guilty like I have failed him.

He also has JUICE. a lot. He asks for it in a sing song voice especially when tired or anxious - "I want orange juice in my new blue beaker with a doggy on it".

I think I need to ditch the juice, but worry about how this will go.

He is tired as am I as he doesn't sleep.

His food is not too limited, he eats fruit and dairy, raw carrots and finey chopped veg on a pizza. But not much variety and not much meat.

Dentist has referred us to a dental health appointment nex week - I know they will say no juice won't they, feel like I will be sat there with them patronising me, not realising what DS is like to live with as an individual.

I now realise I am rambling but if anyone has any thoughts pleas share them! (I will be back online later).

Poor you

I have a similar problem with dd. She is very picky, especially when it comes to drinks. She loves coke and she HAS to have it Our dentist isn't so keen on the idea, but what does he know? He doesn't have to live in our house and he's not around to witness dd at mealtimes. It doesn't help that she mostly eats chocolate (and other such foods)...

And I too have a Very Reluctant Toothbrusher.

Will be watching this thread with interest.

Just thought of something. Could you maybe add a bit of water to the juice?

I have the same issues with my Ds 3.8 ASD. He just wont let me brush his teeth so I didnt introduce juice unti he was 3.5 then very watered down. He had only been drinking it every so often and had only been drinking it about 1 month before his SN dentist apt. The dentist told me that I had to stop the juice and be very strict about his sugar intake. Even when I said I watered it down and gave it only 3 times a week. So I stopped. DS wasnt happy but he Im lucky that he is quite adaptable so he soon acccepted water again. I cut ds nails in his sleep and his hair Its the only way I can.

My dd won't touch water.

DS won't touch water either, and is fussy about milk, if it is out of the fridge more than 10 mins he says it is too melty had baby bottles fridge temp too. .

If it is cordial he has it watered down obviously, and pure juice I do 50-50 with water.

I don't know what to do really. I have seen other mums on here say their asd dcs insist on juice too so know it's not just mine. Sigh.

I don't know whether to just cut it out abruptly or water it down gradually, reducing the juice over say a month. But that may just cause more fuss.

ds1 is older, 9 next week and has lost several teeth

mainly due to soya milk but wwouldnt touch water for year

and you know what? you mustnt let it stress you.

do what you can with brushing / dilution but it is impossible to do what you cannot*. dont beat yourself up about the rest

*and if I ever manage to follow my own advice I'll throw a party lol

(btw he is deffo not alone- ds1 was refused juice at school on the hottest day of they yar 9some years ago now) and we had an ambu;ance on hold whilst we forcefed him ribena as he lost conscioussness; ds3 has juice or flavoured soya in his statement now! My advice is hard learned!)

Ah yes. Hair brushing really does hurt.So does toothbrushing. And so does cutting my nails. What's worse is that cut nails are slightly rough, which is just awful. It's often like being dragged through a barbed wire fence, if it helps to consider what it's like for us.

It's much easier if we can learn to do some of it ourselves, because we can stop when it hurts or try some different technique. A very, very soft brush used very rhythmically is better than other options. Maybe use something that isn't a toothbrush - like maybe a bit of soft sponge with toothpaste on it, if that helps (safely supervised).

As for the juice, I think there are some juices that are better for teeth than others. They might know which?

My DS will drink water out of a paper cup with a straw (found this out after I got a free one from Shakeaway!) - could try that?
If you try to cut out juice/squash, make sure there is none in the house and that no one else in the family is having it. Or drink juice with a straw so it avoids the the teeth (he know how to drink from a cup so you won't be setting him back).

Just to ring the changes and experiment, try dipping a wet toothbrush head in bicarb and brushing with that instead of toothpaste.

We have the same thing Sammyk - in our case DS2 takes lots of supplements, which have to go in juice to disguise the taste. He has early signs of tooth decay too. Our dentist (we go to an SN one, who is MUCH more understanding about ASD) told us to restrict it to meal and snack times - it's much better if they have it with food, because the saliva washes the sugars away. Having said that he's got a cup on the go all day today - is ill and has also has constipation, so needs to drink! And for today, I've decided that keeping him hydrated is more important that tooth decay.

Oh I forgot - DS2 MUCH better with teeth brushing now we've got him an electric toothbrush and a mild toothpaste (Kingfisher).

Thanks for all these replies, it really helps to know I'm not the only one dealing with these issues.

Amber - thanks once again for yor perspective, can you tell me more about food? Do you have any sensory things with food, ds likes very plain food as a rule.

Sphil - no chance of electric toothbrush here, ds hates those kind of noises, still cant abide the hoover, hair drier, hand drier when out. Where do you get his supplements if you don't mind me asking?

buckets ds will drink water from the cooler at my bank funnily enough! I have explained to ds when the juice runs out I am not buying any more as like you say I don't want any in the house if he is not having it.

peachy thanks for understanding

staryeyed we have just found a SN dentist too and I'm so relieved, the first dentist we saw asked me if I flossed his teeth

topbitch my ds is a chocoholic too - gets it from me

May well be back on here screming into a virtual pillow when the juice runs out . . . .

If your ds will drink out of the cooler what about buying one of those domestic coolers? Not sure how expensive they are though.

Oh Sammy I can empathise with the difficulties and the sufocating guilt! (Ds 9 has ASD/ASHD and 3 fillings and I fear another may be required!). There is always a fine line between what we should and what we can achieve.
Would second electric toothbrush with (soft head) too - although ds was older when miraculously hit on this one. The same 3 teeth get very well looked after the rest would be ignored if I didn't plead (with variable sucess) for my turn! Dentist would prefer traditional brushing - but understands (he knows ds well!) for us it is a stepping stone! We also taught ds to swish and spit - with competitions in the sink! Ds will only drink water from a chilled water bottle or toothmug (progress horay). Dentist advised 1 cup of milk and no juice a day. We have managed (over several years!) to reduce juice to 1 heavily diluted cup a day (the one containing his movicol).

How about one of these? And some plastic party cups?