Special school no longer coping

[N170698]

My son has been going to a special school for over 2 years, since september this year there's been no end of reported trouble that he is causing, including harming staff and peers. Urgent review has ensued and now it is going to panel in december. School wants him gone basically, so they are advising a "more specialist placement"(just autism). At home I have no such problem (physical violence), he is a handfull and quite controlling, but not abusive to me, not violently. They have sent me, the report that they are giving the LEA, it is horrible, all the reports of injuries to staff are there too, it all seems to me, like there has been some exageration, for ex: one got her hair pulled, now she has a bad neck and has been off for 2 weeks ( I have experience physical violence from a rather big built adult and never went off seek once; he is a 10 year old child, strong ok, but come on!)... Another one went home lately after she was "attacked". I am getting more and more mad at the school that seems to be pilling on the agony, and feel they just want rid now and are building up the case. They are looking for strategies to "help", but asked me to keep him home for a couple of days while they figure it out!
I am trying to keep my cool, as I am a single mum, and would rather avoid exclusion as I would be devastated if it happened, plus I wouldn't be able to work anymore, and am getting stressed out about having to depend entirely on benefits.
I get support from my local disability team, but my question is, who else would be able to help us? can they portray him as a monster that he isn't or can I actually challenge their claims?
Also there is no local specialist provision, I am wondering where we are heading?

Thank you

Can you spend a day in class with him and see how he is? Sit at the back so you can observe but not get involved?

Sorry you are going through this. I have no advice, but someone will come along with knowledge.

I think you are better off moving him.

We had a report like this in mainstream (ds1 is severely autistic) when he moved to his SLD/PMLD school (which also lists dealing with challenging behaviour as one of its strengths) we began to get reports that referred to him as a human being rather than an animal.

Much sympathy, it's horrible but you're probably better off with him somewhere where he's valued.

I think for any child to be settled & happy at a school, either ms or sn the school have to want that child there in order to do the best for them.

Even if you are correct & they are trying to get rid of him if the school is not welcoming hi & trying that little bit extra for him you are better off moving him.
Like all schools sn schools vary (i know 1 sn school i would not let ds2 attend, the other will be perfect for him).

Let the LEA earn their money & offer alternatives but go & visit the alternatives yourself, I hope you find a solution soon,

Hi and thanks everyone for your replies.

I visited him at school last week, but he was fine, he had a good week last week. This week, here we go again.

Yes, finding another school, is preferable, it is just the way they go about it. As one of you said, it is almost as if they are talking about some animal. Anyway... The thing is, I am a bit worried, because the county has no such "autism specialised school", and he would have to go out of county. Am both worried he will either remain in a school which has given up or end up far from home; he is my only child. I have considered home-ed, but am not confident this will work, it is a lot to take on.
But, thanks everyone, I will have to wait and see, just getting tired of all the negativity surrounding him at the moment, and worried about possible permanent exclusion, if situation doesn't improve.

Hi, sorry to hear you and your ds are having a tough time. My ds had similar experience a couple of years ago in mainstream and we had similar horrible 'animalistic' despcriptions of his behaviour. I found it hard to believe it all as well, since he was a rather weedy 5yr old at the time! We managed to find a special school where they are lovely. Are there any other special schools in your area at all? For my ds it was as much the atitude of the staff in his new school as their specialist training that made the difference - once we ditched the negative attitude we were all much happier. I hope you can find somewhere or school can rise to the challenge. I thought of home-ed too - there are a lot of resources out there but like you say it is a huge thing to take on.

Don't let their negative comments taint your view of your boy - especially since you don't seem to be encountering the same problems.

Take care.