Potty Training with possible SN - do i push it? or leave it?

[NattyTantrumAndEarAche]

my son (nearly 3) hasnt been diagnosed with anything yet, tho we suspect some form of autism.

i am thinking about potty training, all his friends are trained.
we have tried a number of times to no avail. he knows what its for and he will wee in it if told to, but has no urge to go, or even tell me if he has gone.
and he will NOT poo in the potty, he refuses to even talk about it, if i meantion it he ignores me and walks away. yet he follows me in the loo and tells me when i have done one.
when he is in nappies he doesnt tell me if he has wee'd or poo'd and will sit in a dirty nappy for hours (we did once leave him in one just to see if he would come and tell us, 2 hours he was in it b4 i couldnt stand to leave him any longer )

so do i leave it? am i doing more harm than good? do i accept he may not train till much later than most, especailly if he IS autistic? or am i creating a problem in the future if i continue to leave him as he is?

i dont want to upset him, but at the same time i dont want him to feel bad that none of his friends have nappies anymore.

impossible situation

i know how you feel my dd4 is 3 and we are in the same position. one of her peadiats said dont bother as she cant tell you when she needs, and another peadiat said give it a go u might be lucky.it boils down to if your ready to put all the work in , i think.how about we try to train them at the same time, can support each other and egg each other on??am going to start by hijacking oher threads ,heacate and monstermansmun are usualy great fountains of knowledge on sn threads , am off hunting ! lol

sorry i have no experince in potty training a SN child. But my NT son is nearly 3 and has no interest in potty training also . He doesn't give a stuff that many ( not all) of his nursery group are wearing pants

if your son unusually sensitive to other children? if not he may not have noticed...

i don't think nearly 3 is very late. Dd was just befroe her third birthday and Ds1 was 3 years 4 months so it seems normal to me to be in nappies at 3

very similar here, natty.will be 3 in december and refuses to say if he has a dirty nappy/hates getting nappy changed. i've been on maternity leave and envisaged that he would be in pants to start nursery when i go back to work in january, but it looks like it ain't gonna happen.

i'm thinking of leaving it til easter, unless he shows some interest before then.

my DS3 is four years old and has autism

he has now got to the stage where he is fairly reliably dry, but still not prepared to use the potty or toilet for poo

but in general we are pleased with his progress

having had three boys, I would say that the only way to work out if he is ready is to be brave and ditch the pull-ups/nappies during the day for a while and see what happens

I pushed my daughter who appeared ready (knew when she was wet or dirty) as at the time I didn't realise she had SN. Turned into a real nightmare as she couldn't actually work out what to do on the potty. Eventually she "clicked" about 3.8 for wees and just recently (big fingers crossed emoticon!) aged 4.5 has done two poos in the potty in the last week. I would say leave it until you really think that they are ready. I pushed it with a newborn because DD was starting school (they start at 3 here in France) and it just ended up being A LOT of stress for all of us. (And frankly I know a couple of NT kids who weren't ready until 3.5)

We left it till 3.5 for DS who has HFA. We put pants on over his nappy for a while so he could get used to them, then a few times I tried putting him in just pants and trousers in the late afternoon when we were at home. When he wet himself and said "oh no, wee!" I knew he was ready. We picked a long weekend when we were going to be at home, took the daytime nappies away and offered rewards for sitting on the toilet. We never bothered with a potty but had a padded trainer seat and high step to make it comfortable for him, plus books to look at. It only took him a few days to get it and after that he only had an occasional accident. He gave up the night-time nappies by choice a few weeks later (they were always dry first thing in the morning anyway).

I would leave it at least a while longer.

i left it till they were ready. mine were 5/6ish when they came out of nappies totally, and they did it the same way as most kids - refused to wear them one day!

It was the summer hols 2005 I took ds2 nappy off, cleaned him, put a new one on and he took it straight off and threw it across the room and never worse another one! he was about a month off being 6. ds1 had already stopped wearing them during the day from being about 5, but still needed them at night. ds1 is 15 months older than ds2, but ds2 inspired him and he came out of nappies at night shortly after.

There have of course, been many accidents for the first year or so, ds2 wet and soiled himself regularly, and they both still, erm, leak and seep at times, but what the hell?

They do it when they are ready and there's not much you can do about it!

I have no experience of potty training a sn child (not old enough yet), but my eldest was just 3 when we trained her. All her friends started much earlier and it took them months (one of them 18 months) to grasp it, and that was just the daytime. Some are still in pull ups at night and are 4 this month. I left it up to her and when she was ready she was dry in the day within 2 days and dry at night 2 weeks later. My friends who started earlier are still getting accidents, esp at night.

IMO, they'll tell you when thay are ready.

thank you guys, sorry i havent replied, DS been poorly lol

i think i will wait, as some of u have said theres no harm in waiting.

thanks

natty, hope hes better soon x