Re the right thing to call people: It's a nightmare. I refer to myself as Aspie, and don't mind if others do. But others find the term offensive, so I won't call others aspies unless I know them well and know they don't mind. Er, does that make sense . In a very real sense, I am this disability/difference, because it affects my whole way of sensing, seeing, hearing and being in the world and interacting with it. Perhaps more so than other disabilities where there is much to the people that is nothing to do with the disability.
'Person with an ASD' is good if people want to be politically correct.
Then there's all the "is it 'disabled person' or 'person with a disability' " stuff. I prefer the second one, but there's big debate over it.
Frankly, (and this is only my view) unless it's a really rude term like 'retard', I'm fine with whatever people try, because what matters to me is that we're respected and valued and included, rather than which word came first in the sentence.