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[emum2]

hello, not posted on this board before, hope its ok to?
i am concerned with my ds (2.5) behaviour. not really sure why he behaves how he does, have had some different theories from different people. gp and hv both say i need to 'keep an eye on him' but say theres nothing to be done at this time, which doesnt exactly help me alot! had someone from an autistic society doing a talk and when i spoke to her she said it sounds as though he could have autistic behaviour, but im not so sure??? unfortunately both autism and adhd run in the family, i have heard this means hes more likely to have one is this true?
he is very bright for his age, knows his shapes and colours and numbers up to ten. he also speaks well, and has never had any problems with that side of things. he is extremely active will consantly be on the go, and the only thing that will calm him down is the tv, i hate resorting to it, but is the only thing ive found that works, when he watches he goes off into his own little world and doesnt notice anything else going on. he is also quite aggresive, i have to follow him round the mums group as he hits frequently. pre school have also mentioned this but not as severely there.
he is a major poo smearer and am cleaning it up about 2 x a day lately, have no idea why he does this but it really upsets me as i would have thought he'd have grown out of it by now. any ideas how to discourage it?
he also flips out with change in routine, doesnt sleep well, takes him about 3 hours to go to sleep, he is an escape artist, and doesnt have much sense of danger. tantrums are a major issue have been known to last up to an hour of screaming and throwing himself about the place, and he seems to just go round moaning and crying for no reason sometimes. he wont sleep if anything in his room has changed or its messy.
he is also a very difficult eater and will only have finger food now, nothing too sloppy.
he doesnt really play with toys much, only trains, prefers things like batteries? and normal objects than childrens toys.
it feels a lot of the time as if he is in his own little world and nothing i do or say seems to get through! if i leave him alone playing in his bedroom he is perfetly happy chatting to himelf (until he poo smears anyway!) it doesnt feel like hes doing any of this for attention, he doesnt check back to see if hes got a rise out of me as i simply ignore bad behaviour once hes been told what hes done wrong. its like he cant help it if that makes any sense?
its frustrating as i am fairly strict and nothing ive tried seems to have even the smallest effect, in fact things like the nauty step oten make it worse!
does any of this sound famliar?
i didnt want to post on the behaviour board as feel i have tried everything recomended by all hv etc in terms of toddler behaviour and it has no effect. any ideas?
thanks if you managed to get this far!

hi I have no experience of this but just wanted to say welcome and of course you can post on here, we are a friendly bunch, not the judgemental stuff you can find elsewhere on mn sometimes.

it sounds like you could do worse than say to gp: 'well that is fine, but i do want a referral to a community paediatrician'

even I can see that there are some indicators that may point towards ASD.

Yes, I can see why you might be concerned about and ASD or ADHD. I have a DS with HFA, and many things ring true - the absorption on television, the tantrums, not really playing with toys, and happy playing alone were all typical of him at that age. The naughty step has never worked for us either.
His language was also good at this age.

I took the wait and see approach and I feel I missed an opportunity for early intervention, though we are doing well now.

As a word of caution though, I also have a 2.5 yr old DS who is definitely not autistic, and alot of the stroppiness, moaning, and upset over change seems to be part of normal toddlerhood. The big difference i see between my autistic boy and his brother is the sheer persistance of the tantrums when they occur - DS1 it can last for an hour, and they are much more violent (and also did at 2.5). DS2 will calm himself down after 5 mins.

I think with a family history, and a your list of concerns there is no harm in speaking to your GP and requesting a referral, if only for your own peace of mind.

emum, you are coping with a lot! It really sounds exhausting. Big hugs to you.

My DS doesn't have ASD so don't want to say the wrong thing as I'm no expert, but in your place I would definitely get a referral, and push for help.

I think the violence has to be controlled as soon as possible, and the sooner a child with SN gets help the better. Your DS is still young, don't let time go by without getting help.
For our little ones time is precious.

A lot of these things are normal behaviour for children of that age; but dislike of change in routine, frequent tantrums over the slightest of things, own little world, and love of trains are very common in children with autism so get him referred ASAP.

Don't worry about posting on here, we don't bite - honest.

Hello and welcome. Agree with Widemouthfrog about pursuing a referral - if you say that pre-school have concerns then GP may take you more seriously. You might also find it useful to look at NAS website (www.nas.org.uk) as it has tips about behaviour, and to do some reading about sensory issues - the poo smearing can be a sensory thing, that he umm likes the feel of it iyswim (a book that is often recommended on here about sensory stuff is "the out of synch child".) Have you got a little indoor trampoline - that can be very useful for burning off some of that energy!

thankyou all so much for the replies, its good to know that theres support out there as feel as if health proffesioals have just left us to get on untill he gets older. i will go back to the gp next week and bring up everything again. i think part of the problem is that he talks so well they automatically say, that its not bad enough to do anything yet.
saw another post that mentiopned pda, looked it up as he seems to fit in with some autistic ways and not in others. reading it, it was like they were describing ds! had no idea what it was until yesterday. am going to print it out and show to gp, as its the only thing hes actually ticked all the boxes for.
thanks again, any more advice on how to cope with these sort of behaviours appreciated, as i really know very little about all of these sort of issues and really want to be able to help ds.