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Original poster

I don't want to go now

18 replies

needmorecoffee · 22/11/2008 17:18

dd has her first party invite ever and we have a princess dress for her. But now I am feeling rubbish cos the dress is so pretty but its for standing children. and she'll be the only child in a wheelchair there. and the dress doesn't go well over the pommel.
anyone else ever feel like this?

OP posts:
2shoes · 22/11/2008 17:24

don't worry.
DD has a freind who always wore pretty dresses to parties(dd not a pretty dress kind of girl) and they looked lovely.
do you have to use a Knee block?

flyingmum · 22/11/2008 17:28

Is there any way you can decorate the wheelchair so that it looks like a princess chariot. Sorry if that is a really stupid suggestion but it's the only thing I can think of.

She will look beautiful. Children are far better than adults and will see the wheelchair not as a wheelchair but as part of the package which is your daughter - along with her hair colour, her smile, her laugh, her lovely nature, what she says and does, her clothes, her shoes. My youngest saw a lad in a wheelchair and was heard to remark 'that is sooo cool - I wish I had one!' He obviously didn't get the serious nature of why the lad was in the wheelchair but if they had both been in the playground or park together he'd have been attracted to play with the boy and his 'cool' gadget. I hope she has a lovely time and that you survive. I always get really nervous about my eldest going to things - he has ASD and other stuff - more about how other people will respond to him - it's the people being 'extra nice' and talking to him like he's 'very special' that drives me potty - he's just an average grunty teen who is a bit quirky! I'm ranting - I'll go.

bubblagirl · 22/11/2008 17:30

i think your dd will look gorgeous regardless as long as she and the other children enjoy themselves thats what counts dont woory yourself too much im sure they'll all agree she is every bit a princessxx

Original poster
needmorecoffee · 22/11/2008 17:30

when dd was little I went through a phase of not buying 'baby things' for her cos there didn't seem any point cos she couldn't see it nor understand. I know it sounds silly cos NT babies don't 'understand' either.
It feels a bit like that same feeling. 'Whats the point'
I'm having a low week about how severe she is. I am sick of severe. Why can't she even use one arm? Why can another child be without oxygen for 30 mins and is only diplegic?
I reckon this feeling is all linked. Whats the point of anything when everything is so shit

OP posts:
bubblagirl · 22/11/2008 17:44

oh im so sorry your feeling so low have no magic words to make you feel better but wer all here for you xx big hugs to you

2shoes · 22/11/2008 17:48

needmorecoffee it is fucking unfair, sorry no other words for it.

bullet123 · 22/11/2008 18:54

I wish I could help you NMC.

BriocheDoree · 22/11/2008 18:56

NMC it's crap. I'm sorry you are feeling so low.
But flyingmum is right. The other kids won't see it, particularly not at 4. My DD is at mainstream and the other kids are so utterly accepting of this child that doesn't speak, doesn't make eye contact.
I'm sure she'll look gorgeous. Surely the feeling she will get of seeing herself in the dress and knowing she's in a pretty dress is the most important thing. (I also have 4 year old and she loves glitter and sparkles and pretty dresses. I think that's pretty universal, isn't it?)

Original poster
needmorecoffee · 24/11/2008 08:30

the other kids were fine although dd burst into tears when we went into the hall. She's never been to a party before and it was very loud. Took me 10 minutes to calm her down with several of her friends hugging and kissing her. Then she cheered up when she openend her eyes enough to see them.
One littl egirl spent the entire 2 hours pushing dd around and dancing with her and playing the games like Musical Statues )dd and the little girl won although the mum was making cat bum faces and ignored the fact dd was still in the running until other little girls pointed it out to her). We sat out Muiscal Chairs cos dd would of had an unfair advantage
It was the other parents. All Boden wearing nobs. I think many had heard of dd from their children (some told me) but had been expecting a cute Tiny Tim sort of child that maybe spoke and wheeled her own chair. DD is of course quadraplegic and drools and a few of them looked rather shocked.
And I did feel jealous at how easy it with a ND child. Feeding them and dressing them and talking to them.

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 24/11/2008 08:32

sorry it was a bit gruelling for you, glad DD sounds to have enjoyed it.

dustystar · 24/11/2008 11:40

Sorry it was so tough for you but it sounds like dd had a good time

dsrplus8 · 24/11/2008 11:40

glad your wee princess had a great time with her freinds at the party. at the nasty parents, what a bunch of tossers!!!! never mind them, they are ignorant gits and tey should all go live in chocolate box land where everyone is the same and boring.its only the best parents who have special needs kids,remember that!!! btw pmsl at "boden wearing nobs" - i know some like that too!!!

PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 24/11/2008 11:49

'And I did feel jealous at how easy it with a ND child. Feeding them and dressing them and talking to them.'

I know its bitchy and i'd only post it here but remember: your daughter will never sell heroin to a 5 year old; be locked up for murder; sell her soul to a pimp for a hit

(I know thats a crap way of thinking but heck it works with ds3)

sounds like the kids are fab with her and they will be the next generation of hopefully cats-bum=-faced-free adults. And as long as dd had fun, fuck them. Honestly.

(DS3 transferring to unit from ms soon after dramatic 'failure' of the whole crap idea, and I will be so glad to be rid of the fecking parents)

Threadworrm · 24/11/2008 11:51

A few years ago I took a few of DS1's friends to Lightwater Valley, including one friend with CP. he usually walks, but for a long day schlepping about a theme park he was using a wheelchair. His mates were taking it in turn to push him and all of the boys were very brash: in crowds they were calling daft things like 'Make way, Prime Minister coming through!' And we managed to wangle 'carer' passes of all the non-CP boys so that they didn't have to be split up by the arrangement where special-needs customers and their carers go to head of queue.

The kids had a fantastic time (apart from a couple of officious adults accusing the boys of queue-jumping when I wasn't with them)

What I mean is, here was a gang of fiercely loyal mates having a great time despite the odd cat's bum face.

feelingbitbetter · 24/11/2008 12:05

NMC, for you, it sounded like my own personal hell.
for DD, it sounded ace. The other kids sound lovely.
Here's hoping that a bunch of 5yr olds can teach their ignorant fuckers parents how to behave.
Those childrens lives will be all the more enhanced for being lucky enough to have your DD in them.

dsrplus8 · 24/11/2008 12:51

ROTF PMSL at cats bum face

Original poster
needmorecoffee · 24/11/2008 14:04

cats bum face shamelessly sloeln from Eidsvold

OP posts:
amber32002 · 24/11/2008 15:38

Needmorecoffee, I'd have paid real money to see the expressions on the faces of the Boden Mums as they saw how easy children can make inclusion. (Well, I'd have paid money to have someone else tell me what the expressions were - since I can't see them but you know what I mean .)

And (((((hugs))))) for you and your lovely dd too.

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