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Original poster

help me make this decision

18 replies

PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 19/11/2008 12:50

DS3 wont be able to attend ms school at yr3 level , we knew this and knew he should never have been in MS- still a smack in te face though!

Question is when do we transfer him? Need to decide by Friday. Both units have places now but probably will in a year also

DH- wants him in now, we've seen 2 great units, get transition over and done with

ME- Know he is OK with this Head even if not maximising, worried he will be upset but not able to show us, also v worried about job of his amazing 1-1, but now long term SN best but he is near his brothers, able to take part in a great range of things at this school?

Help

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TotalChaos · 19/11/2008 12:54

Sorry it's such a blow even when you are expecting it. Anyway - I would go for transfering him now - as the right sort of intensive language input/environment could make a huge difference to his learning and happiness.

Original poster
PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 19/11/2008 12:58

funnily enough its the language they say he doesnt need now- its everyting else (all the stuff they denied for years)

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Widemouthfrog · 19/11/2008 13:02

Tricky. I think I would do it now. It is a shame he will be away from brothers, but that will have to happen next year anyway. Another year in school may make it even harder to leave as routines and relationships are further cemented.

A year is a long time not to be reaching his potential with full and appropriate support.

Leaving a trusted 1:1 TA will always be hard, but you cannot worry about her job - you have to make the decision based on your son and no-one else.

Can he go to the SN school and still have access to the same range of activities from his present school? If not, can you compensate with out of school activities.

Just my thoughts. Good luck whichever way you decide. You know your child, and you should follow your instinct. If you do move him, how long have you got to prepare him for the transition?

Original poster
PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 19/11/2008 13:14

he doesnt have relationships with the kids, he'll miss the PC though, and the whiteboard (then he will see his new school as them and not give a toss)

he's yr1 atm so transfer yr 2 2010. its a long way off isnt it?

I worry about me too (very selfish I know) as only social life I have ds the pta but I suppose could continue as ds4 will go one day. I know that sounds mighty selfish but next friend 60 miles away

keep tinking of, as nmc puts it te value f 'the chatter of nt kids' (although all kids in this setting verbal)

activities will be fine I guess as its in ams school but it will curtail the boys as i will need to be here for bus and not ablr to collect other ds's from clubs

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feelingbitbetter · 19/11/2008 13:16

Not that I have a clue about this, but I'll add my twopenneth anyway.

I think I would move him now. It is going to be difficult for him whenever you do it, but he has much more to gain in the long run from an appropriate unit.

As to the 1-1, as WMF said, you can't worry about that. Chances are s/he will be snapped up and be the amazing 1-1 in another childs life.

Widemouthfrog · 19/11/2008 13:19

Obviously your decision has got to be right for the whole family. I can see its very complicated.

Have you tried a good old fashioned pros and cons list? Perhaps you and DH coul ddo one each and compare?

thenewme · 19/11/2008 13:23

I think if he will benefit from the move I would move him now to get the full benefit asap.

magso · 19/11/2008 13:27

Sorry that you are {sad].
Our sons are different so my experience may not be relevant.
Ds is in yr4 and transfered to special early in yr3. He actually lost skills in year2 ( unsupported) going back to where he was on the P scales on leaving (excellent) nursery. In the year since he has been at special school he has changed and developed beyond all hope! Youve guessed it - if I could have moved him earlier I would have done. Your son obviously has support where he is but if the units are good and will meet his needs better well ---. ds still goes to his old school fetes etc and mixes with village children in the parks. In the unit are infants and juniors separate - would that need another change in a year?

Original poster
PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 19/11/2008 14:21

Combined primary I think in the unit but a god one to double check yes. I think its just 2 classes through the school.

DS3 has 20 hours 1-1 apparently, 16 funded by LEA. But the minutest change means a loss of (atm toileting) skills and we have found some teachers to be very defensive against SN- comments like 'it's just a speech impediment, he'll be better in a year'.

I think I know what I ahve to do, and bizarrely I have been asking for SN place,ment since he was in preschool I just never believed the LEA would go for it.... but the child they are describing at last is mine, not a strange being sharing his name (I did once point out there were several harrys in a class did they have the right one) who is friendly and able at writing etc etc

Sad though.

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magso · 19/11/2008 16:12

I suspect the main difference for ds is learning in a small quiet class with a mixture of small group and regular (not exclusive) 1:1. I did worry about uprooting him, but he coped quite well.

TotalChaos · 19/11/2008 16:45

I think it's partly a matter of timing - if DS3 had been offered the unit place at the Easter before starting reception you would feel very differently than now, because you have had to reconcile yourself to DS3 being in mainstream.

Hopefully once you don't have the regular battles with school/snack/drink you will feel more up to something sociable that's a bit more exciting than PTA anyway!

Original poster
PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 19/11/2008 17:02

Well I am going out this weekend I could get used to it I think (mind couldnt afford what i spent on an outfotm often hee hee).

you're right about if it had happened at Easter, also I think there's a dual thing between the shock that the LEA are co-operating (WTF?) and the SENCO see what we do and its definitely in my mind.

IYSWIM.

I need to decide by Friday but tonight would be good as I am aware (SENCO doesnt know t) she's up for a major disciplinary at LEA HQ Thursday night so will she be there Friday?

have spoken to Harry he's really excited about the idea of goin on a bus pmsl.

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dustystar · 19/11/2008 17:08

I think I'd be inclined to move him sooner rather than later. It'll be hard for him at first but at least the move will be over and done with rather than looming in the next couple of years.

magso · 19/11/2008 17:08

Good luck with your decision making Peachy! (Ps Ds likes the taxibus too - its alovely calm way to go to school - calmer for me too!!)

Original poster
PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 20/11/2008 09:35

spoke to 1-1 and she has a job regardless

hated the idea of setting her adrift (after a decade at the school as a 1-1) in this job markey- huge weight off my mind that one.

Got to find out about transport next but lea admit that they'll have to be flexible so I can drop off ds1, normally they'd expect me to drop him 5 minutes early etc to play with friends if needed, but as he's also statemented in ms not viable

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TotalChaos · 20/11/2008 09:40

sounds like it's all coming together then, fingers crossed. what happens with Ds1 drop off, do you drop him off bang on time, or just after the kids have gone in to avoid the rush?

Original poster
PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 20/11/2008 09:48

5 minutes after as a rule, but infants goes iin 5 minutes after anyway so will need to look at that I guess. We have permission for a laate drop off for him but not ds1 LOL

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Original poster
PeachyAndTheSucklingBas · 20/11/2008 09:49

not ds2, dur.

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