Have just been told that DS may have Aspergers

[JollyPirate]

Admittidly this has only been by DS's school but the concerns echoed those I have already had myself - certainly he has some autistic like behaviours - real sensory processing problems and his teacher says he cannot seem to read emotions in people's faces at all.

This is all nothing I did not already realise but hearing my fears confirmed was a bit of a shock. At present the school are trying to get DS statemented as he's needing alot of 1-1 time at school and they are having to use a teaching assistant from another class every day. His class teacher says he would be too hard for her to manage without this support.

My MIL is saying that I need to be firmer with DS and doesn't seem to get that the sensory issues are affecting everything - his ears are sensitive to noise to the extent that if PE takes place in the school hall he needs to wear earphones or the echo sends him running away. He has also left the classroom on occasions when things have upset him.

He will be 6 next month so I know he's still young but I am anxious about how he will manage and also how all this sensory stuff will affect him as he gets older.

Anyone else out there in the same boat?

Hello, welcome to the Sn section, hope you get the support you need.

I have a ds1 with a diagnosis of AS / HFA (Aspergeers / high functioning autism). I also have a child with more severe SN, a baby and a NT child with p[ossible dyspraxia (it would be mild if at all IMO).

It is really hard to get your fears confirmed no matter how much you 'know' it. DS3 is still without a dx although we now full well he is on the autistic spectrum. he gets DLA, has a 1-1 much of the school day, is still wet etc etc etc- and I know the day he gets a dx it will still hit me like a train!.

You need to be very gentle with yourself at this stage, give yourself time before worrying about anythng else. That's very important and I suspect you will see many others saying the same thing.

Nobody can say how much the sensory stuff will affect him for certain, children do develop differently and some make big gains. At some point it would be helpful to ask the occupational therapy department about sensory therapies and that sort of thing, but look after yourself first.

Yup, I've been in that boat all my life. It's a shock to get a professional saying they think it's an ASD, even if we 'sort of knew' beforehand.

Have you seen the www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/633025-A-day-in-the-life-of-Amber postings I did and the various thoughts from others on daily life when older? If you're concerned about how sensory things affect us, it might have one or two clues in there.

As Peachy says, everyone develops differently. Even the experts are only just starting to take notice of the sensory stuff (tsk), so there's a lot of research and thinking still to do. They'd only been looking at the behaviours and how to make us look entirely normal in our behaviour, not how it felt to be us or how we experience the world. I wonder which psychologist first thought to ask us?

Agree that you need to take it slowly. One day at a time. Know that there is joy ahead as well as challenge.

Thank you both for your replies - will have a look at that link amber. Ds is home and settled - always happier at home.

Hi jollyprirate and welcome to the SN board.

As peachy says you need to be kind to yourself and give yourself time to take it all in. You said this was said to you by the school - has he seen a paediatrician at all? If not then I recommend you ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. as they tend to be the ones who give a dx.

DS has AS and ADHD and would not cope in school without 1:1 support. He doesn't really have many sensory issues although he find noisy places stressful.

Just thought i would say high, my dd1 has AS (she's almost 5), at the momment she doesn't need help at school but someimes has to be taken out the classroom if she's upset. She's sensitive to some sounds and likes to be in charge of every situation. At the momment her main problems are with food and walking on uneaven surfaces.

Dd2 (2.9) has possible ASD and has alot of sensory issues including noise, she holds her ears alot and has poor comunication.

Ditto what everyone else says.
Here's something to send your MIL.

DX is a good thing IMO, things can only get better as you'll be able to get specific help. In fact can I just boast about my DS(3, AS) - tonight after his nappy change he went by himself, unprompted, and put toothpaste on his toothbrush, brushed his teeth and let me do the 'corners.' Even snapped the toothpaste lid shut and put it back in the pot!

Well done buckets- as opposed to ds3 who this morning went, unprompted, ALL OVER the toothpaste (and managed to get it in the bathroom scales mechanism as well) >

pmsl

Hi

Im in a similar situation -DS aged 4 and the school have raised issues with us. We're waiting to see an Educational psychologist next week and will take it from there. It is scary but DS is at least happy and doing reasonably well and we have the exemple of Amber to see how AS kids can achieve in life.

ds1 was diagnossd about 6. Couldn't cope with school/noise/outside/people. I home edded him and 9 years on he is a lot better. Even returned to school at 13.
I think the ages from 5 to 10 are the worst but many do marture and develop more understanding of their apsergers and learn ways to remove themselves from a situation or coping strategies.
He still can't cope with dd2's noise (she has severe CP) or people eating but I just tell him to go and play his piano or something.

Thank you everyone. DS is doing okay with support over the sensory stuff. I am reading lots and lots too. Sometimes I think he fits neatly into Aspergers and sometimes not.
He is quite empathetic for example and everything I've read says children with Aspergers are not. I am guessing though that all I'll read is the general symptoms which do not take account of differences.

Oh and thanks so much for that link Buckets. Will be printing it off and giving it to dear MIL.