whats the funniest/stupidest thing a Doctor has said to you RE your child?????

[anniebear]

I was thinking today about one of Ellies eye appointments we had last year. Still find it unbelievable.

Just thought, between all of us we must have some funny/unbeliveable things that have been said to us by the 'professionals'!!

Anyway, the Dr needed to look into the back of Ellie's eye and poked and prodded, tried to prise open Ellies eyes (she was 2 and a half) and tried to shine a bright light into it.

Ellie ended up with a very red sore eye. The Dr had to go and get the Consultant who was very nice but when she couldn't get a look told me "you will have to blackmail her"

LOL LOL LOL I still find it so funny now. I just turned to her and said slowly "she has special needs and is very behind with her development" (she knew this already)

Then I went on to tell her that at only 2 and a half I couldn't even blackmail her twin NT Sister.

She just said we all have to use black mail with our children even if we don't want to. and to go home and get her used to her eye being touched!!!

So did I go home and prise Ellies eye open and Shine a bright torch in, oh and black mail her? I don't think so!!!!

How stupid, blackmail a child who was only 2, has special needs, and hardly had any understanding!!!

she has Rett syndromw and will never walk

her head isnt small, its just how she has been lying

if you didnt carry her around so much she would walk

Took my almost 1yo (2 das before bday) to see locum gp, who asked if she was potty trained yet...erm, no, she's not even one yet. Then asked why she wasn't wearing pampers nappies,,,erm, she's allergic to disposables. She then just looked at me like i was totally mad.

Our first visit to the paed resulting him saying 'Oh i've got a son like your ds'
I replied 'how did you deal with your ds'
' oh he lives with his mother' replied the paed.
I replied 'Thanks for that and they have sent me to you for help'.

HELP!!!! LARSXX

When DD was born, the Doc walked in and I mentioned DD's ears were folded up. He said "has anyone talked to you about Down's Syndrome?" - she didn't have Down's!

DS's teacher told me he had ADHD. Ha ha ha.

jimjams, I know exactly what you mean about just wishing they'd get on with things. I've lost count of the times that doctors etc have tried to 'persuade' ds to to things (like get on scales or something)and at the first sign of resistance they say "Oh we won't do that this time, we don't want to upset him". Well sorry but I've just arranged for someone to collect dd from school, traipsed across town on the bus with ds in buggy, pushed him up a huge hill and endured the packed waiting room for an hour and a half to keep this appointment! I'd rather ds was slightly upset/cross for two minutes than have to go through all that again!

The request that most bemused me was to take my nappy-clad four year old off to give a urine sample! If he could do it on command I wouldn't still have him in nappies would I?

I know pixel. Last time I took ds1 to the emergency doc (very high temp- really wasn't sure what was wrong,) she wouldn't look in his ears, throat of listen to his chest because he complained. That was the whole point of bringing him- I wanted to rule out throat/chest/ear infection!!!

And she did that "i'm just going to have a little look in your ear" thing whilst hovering around beside him, making him anxious and giving him time to squirm away. I always feel like shoutoing "FGS pin him down and get on with it"

Like shoe shopping- I try to explain that they've got one chance to measure his feet and that's it- so best to get a rough idea, not faff aroound and then just try on different shoes. Most are very good, but some insist on trying to get a perfect measurement, by which time ds1 is so stressed he's trying to run out the door and I'm having to pin him to the floor wehilst sitting on his leg to stop him kicking someone trying to wrench shoes on his feet.

OOOH don't mention shoe shops! I'm not listening!

Luckily for me our hairdresser completely 'gets it' We wrap ds up tight straight away in an apron with his arms pinned down and I hold him tight on my lap. Sometimes I have to pin his legs between my knees and dd has been known to hang on to his feet! The hairdresser keeps snipping away anywhere she can and doesn't stop until the job is done. She knows that if we let him escape once we have lost our chance. She does a pretty good job too! (shame I can feel the stares of old ladies under the dryers boring into my back but never mind!)

My ds had to be tested for cystic fibrosis at 9 months old, which involved them having to stick things to him. These 2 young doctors were getting more and more stressed telling him to "keep still- it won't hurt".

6 week check for this same child the doctor invited some woman to sit in on the test. No-one told me who she was or asked if I minded. He did every test several times & halfway through ds started crying. He asked me if he needed feeding & I said no, he just didn't like whatever it was he was doing. A couple of minutes later he handed him back to me, telling the visitor that he couldn't complete the test because "obviously baby is hungry".

He then sat & asked me a lot of irrelevant questions about my age, DHs job, whether "baby" was "well planned" & what contraception we used- in front of mrs woman.

I was livid & put in a serious complaint to my HV & the HA. Luckily never saw that doctor again...

(must preview) he did every test several times just so that he could demonstrate to this woman what he was doing/looking for, and completely ignored me. (I was too young & polite to put a stop to it in mid flow... wouldn't happen now!)

Me: "I thought my period was odd so I took a test and it was positive."

Dr: "Well, you might be, you might not. You might be and you're going to lose it. Just pull yourself together and go back to work."

Lost that one 5 weeks later!

HV at 2 yr check: [points to picture of hat] Where does that go?

DS: [silence]

HV (to us): now he's 2 you might find he starts stringing 2/3 words together soon. (to ds) does it go on your feet?

DS: No, it's a hat, it goes on your head. Shoes go on your feet, or wellies if you want to go splashing.

both my kids were tested for CF and Im not even a carrier!

Dr said but your sister had it

just remembered another one at 3am this morning pondering why people say the stupidest things WHen I saw the first registrar at antenatal appt. Had to take dd1 with me. The registrar starts booking me in for a caesar and then looks shocked when I say no. She then reads my notes further and starts asking all these questions about dd1 ( what the hell that had to do with my antenatal appt - no idea) Questions like - has she had heart surgery - err Look at her and see.... she has good colour, you can see her zipper scar sticking out over the top of her blouse. But the best was when she turned to me and said...

How do you know your dd has down syndrome??

I just looked at her. I then pointed at dd1 and said look at her. Then she said yes but how do you know???? I finally in my most withering ( are you stupid or what voice) told her that dd had had the karotype test which confirmed she had trisomy 21. I found it amusing in hindsight that the woman doing my 20 week ultrasound could take one look at dd1 and know she downs syndrome but a medical registrar couldn't?!?!?

JMB, I'm sorry I didn't mean to cause offence, only having a child with SN you come across a lot of doctors who seem not to have a clue.

I have to say I have had a healthy distrust of doctors since childhood.

I stopped going to school at age 11. I hated school for years before that and was frequently absent. I was taken to the dr's repeatedly both before and after I stopped going. The dr just said I was naughty and manipulative. She recommended I was taken into care and locked in and forced to go to school. I was suicidal, self-harming and had I been forced against my will, I would have killed myself. Eventually I was diagnosed with depression. The paed I saw at that point was completely wonderful, patient and kind. It sounds rather melodramatic, but I wonder whether I would still be here if it wasn't for him. At the same stage we also had a wonderful GP.

However, at one stage I was referred to a family psychologist who saw me with my family. I refused to speak, but from that, and what was said by my parents, she nearly managed to ruin my entire family. She claimed I (again) was manipulative and was running the family (a shy, quiet and thoroughly miserable child). She also claimed that I had an 'unnatural' relationship with my dad, more like a spouse, implying that I was being abused. Had she been taken seriously then you can imagine the results it could have had. Fortunately said GP and paed discredited her. Turns out she was half deaf, only hearing half of what was being said to her and making up the rest as she went along. I still have the report she wrote and it frightens me what could have happened.

I had a difficult childhood and was let down by a lot of the people who should have been helping me. Had I not had very strong and loving parents who were prepared to trust their own instincts, and the paed and GP I did, who knows what would have happened to me?

I know it's wrong to generalise, and I acknowledge that there are some fantastic docs around, but there are also some very bad ones and we are supposed to put our trust in them. I am very cynical.

All these years on and with a child who I am 99% certain has AS (despite the dr refusing to even consider it as an option), and I suspect that was probably my problem too. Sorry for the rant, but I refuse to put blind trust in the medical profession, and seeing all these posts I think it is quite frightening how many people have had (some very serious) problems with people who are meant to help them.

Sorry, that really was a rant, wasn't it

whatsername- jmb does have a child with SN (AS) which is partly why she'll be a great dr- she knows it from both sides iyswim.

My DD has a tracheostomy ( tube in her throat to breathe through) and when she was unwell with a chest infection the docter at the hospital asked if I fed her through the tracheostomy!! I also had to argue with the nurse that there was no point in putting a nebuliser at her mouth and nose as she breathes through her trachy!!! It would have been funny if we hadn't been relying on these people to look after our DD!!

whatsername- your stoory is dreadful. Have you read things like Claire Sainsbury martian in the playground - I think you'd identify with it.

Hospital after going to some lengths to do a blood test in a latex free environment...

"Would you like a Thomas Stamp?"

Oh that would be a rubber stamp then!

Paed when I said I though Bob was allergic to latex and gave specific examples...

"Oh, I think he's just probably a strange little boy."

eww remembered another one - dd was in HDU recovering from a return to ICU and a baby came in for surgery that they could not find space for in ICU so the nurse in charge stood at the doorway to the ward - looked at dd1 said she looks too good to be here - we'll shift her onto the ward. Funnily enough about four hours later she was back in ICU.

No Jimjams I've not read that, I've just put it on my wish list on amazon. I started by browsing the library shelves with no clue as to why ds was behaving the way he was. AS just fits him, and it was quite a revealation to discover that it fits me too. I just wish the drs would listen, surely the opinion of a parent is important too?

I didn't know JMB has a sn chid. Sorry, I have the most awful memory and struggle to remember facts about other Mnetters. I am always astounded how much people remember about me (or did before I changed my name (again) - I was stupidgirl, I gave in and changed for charidee!)

Anyway, as I said I know there are some fantastic drs and medical people around - current GP, my childhood paediatrician, ds's previous surgeon, 2 fantastic speech therapists...those people have enhanced our lives greatly. Just a shame there are so many bad ones too

Oh, and I've just thought of another one (I will stop in a minute, I promise, I'm just in rant mode now...).

Seventeen years old, single and pregnant. I had in the past few days had a routine scan (on my own) which discovered ds had cleft lip and palate, suspected to be quite bad. I was also told that it could mean other more serious problems and so been sent to a hospital an hours drive away to have more detailed scans and told I needed to make a decision about where I wanted baby to be born and surgery to be done. It was, obviously, a difficult decision, I had 3 options -

1. birth at local hospital, surgery at age 3 months at different but still local hospital

2)birth at local hospital and then travel up to hospital where we'd been to have scans for surgery in the first week

3. birth and surgery in first week in hospital where we had scans.

Right, cue several days of crying and soul searching (at which stage speech therapist from hospital where we had scans stepped in, contacting me and spent a great deal of time comforting and supporting me - meanwhile no advice or support offered from local hospital). Finally I decided to go with option 3 and give birth and have the surgery done at the hospital in London. I went along to see the consultant at the local hospital to tell him that, and he though a tantrum, seriously! He ranted and raved and told me that under no circumstances would I be having the baby up there, that wasn't an option that was open to me, and if I'd got that impression it was too bad it wasn't going to happen. Fortunatly I had my mum with me this time who stood up for me and defended me while I sat meek, helpless and shocked by the outburst.

He ended up storming out of the room and slamming the door and saying that if that was my decision then he was washing his hands of my case and wanted nothing more to do with me. The young, junior dr who had been there to observe actually apologised on his behalf. He never did. Of course it all came down (as it always does) to funding. It might have been a bad day but I was young, very scared and very vulnerable, his behaviour was inexcusable.

I was then taken out of the room and they made a token attempt at offering support by phoning CLAPA, (the cleft lip and palate association) and handing me the telephone whilst muttering that it should have been done at the time of the diagnosis and I had 'slipped through the net'. Hardly supportive.

Having said all that (I've just done a big long rant again, haven't I?) I did see a wonderful midwife at the same hospital (during my booking in, before all this) who was fantastically supportive when I expressed concern about being a single teenage mum.

Right, I'm going now, sorry for hijacking the thread with my ranting...

Yes, OK, I know there are some bad experiences, just hate to hear the whole profession rubbished. I am not a d*head (but I was in a bad mood last night)
Jimjams - thanks for your support. When I did a 6 month job in paediatrics, as part of a training scheme to be a GP, I spent a few hours in clinics for children with neurological problems - autism was certainly talked about, and we saw children coming in and out of A+E with all sorts of complex problems (it was a tertiary referral centre, people from all over Scotland sometimes) And autism was certainly on the syllabus for the diploma in child health which I did later, but not everyone does that.
Someone taught me very early on to remember always that parents (all of them, not just SN) know their children better than we do, and I use that as an excuse to ask them whenever I can. (eg what do you think is going to be the easiest way to look in his ears today?) But then you get accused of not knowing enough..
Maybe it would be a good line for parents to try in some of these situations - 'don't forget we've had x for x years/months, you've only just met him..'?
And yes, having an SN child myself has opened my eyes even further, and MN yet more!
New doctors coming through have far more training in communication skills, empathy etc - and more of them are female - so things may improve over the years?

just back from the GP with an appointment for dd2 and I am constantly reminded how brilliant she is compared to others we have seen or dealt with. I then thank god that I managed to pick a good one. Over here in Australia - you can largely choose your doctor. I picked this one from the phone book as the practice had a female doc and was closest to us. Figured she would be good for antenatal appointments and possibly referrals for dd1. SHe could have been a nightmare but she is brilliant. Very patient centred and often asks me what I think first ( for all of my antenatal appts and re: the girls) - then gives me the info and leaves me to decide. She is brilliant with dd1 - if she has to look in her ears * difficult for dd1) she just gets on with it - no preamble - just lets me hold dd1 down and then does what she needs to do.

jmb - I know you said some parents think you know nothing if you ask them what they think ( did i understand it correctly??) Perhaps if you prefaced it with - as x's parents you have a better idea of what is going on - what do you think about xyz or something. I really appreciated it when a specialist said that to me - acknowledging that I would know my child better than them and that he would take my ideas into consideration. I guess I also would expect that ( time permitting) my Gp would do some reading up on Down syndrome and try to be better informed ( if she is not already) about the condition and its impact on people so that she can better serve my dd and us as patients.

Okay - rambled on - sorry.