whats the funniest/stupidest thing a Doctor has said to you RE your child?????

[anniebear]

I was thinking today about one of Ellies eye appointments we had last year. Still find it unbelievable.

Just thought, between all of us we must have some funny/unbeliveable things that have been said to us by the 'professionals'!!

Anyway, the Dr needed to look into the back of Ellie's eye and poked and prodded, tried to prise open Ellies eyes (she was 2 and a half) and tried to shine a bright light into it.

Ellie ended up with a very red sore eye. The Dr had to go and get the Consultant who was very nice but when she couldn't get a look told me "you will have to blackmail her"

LOL LOL LOL I still find it so funny now. I just turned to her and said slowly "she has special needs and is very behind with her development" (she knew this already)

Then I went on to tell her that at only 2 and a half I couldn't even blackmail her twin NT Sister.

She just said we all have to use black mail with our children even if we don't want to. and to go home and get her used to her eye being touched!!!

So did I go home and prise Ellies eye open and Shine a bright torch in, oh and black mail her? I don't think so!!!!

How stupid, blackmail a child who was only 2, has special needs, and hardly had any understanding!!!

ummmm....we had that one....but it was a brain surgeon for our son!!!!

Why are there so many d*head drs?

As well as the AS ds was born with cleft lip and palate. We've always been seen up in London and had a wonderful team but there has been this big overhaul in services and everything has moved. It means we now have a different hospital (all be it much much closer) and different team.

And from having the loveliest most understanding surgeon we have a horrible one. He had no patience at all with ds who was hiding under chairs and refusing to co-operate, despite my trying to explain that he has problems

charming. some of us try bloody hard.

Is amazing how the 'Professionals can be so unprofessional isn't it?

How rude and ignorant some are

Jmb - I know - the docs that saved my dd after that one crap one are Gods in my eyes.

BTW that GP checked himself into a drying out clinic 2 months after that consultation. Maybe finding out what a huge mistake he'd made did some good somewhere

yes anniebear some are, just like some parents.

Yesterday I had a clinic for SN children, held once a month, in conjunction with a physio (who incidentally has a mobility problem herself and has to travel across town to be here). 8 patients out of 24 failed to turn up. Not one parent telephoned to say they couldn't / wouldn't come. Now as I'm sympathetic to the fact that life with a SN child is often difficult, I have given them all another appointment, but I can guarantee that the same thing will happen again with most of them.

The NHS would not be quite so pushed if people had the common decency to cancel appointments if they're not coming.

DocIncognito. Ds2's SALT said something similar about her own appointments. Knowing how long we all have to wait to get SALT I was shocked when she told us that we were one of the few people who actually bothered to turn up to appointments.

We're lucky to have a pretty good GPs surgery - which is probably why it was such a shock to the system when the Walk-In centre doctor treated me like a bad parent. They have also just recruited a new doctor who seems to be very interested in autism. I'd taken ds2 in with a suspected chest infection and the doctor was asking lots of questions about when I'd first suspected that ds1 and ds2 were autistic and about how ds1 was coping at a mainstream school. The next time I had an appointment there the receptionists were selling those NAS Thomas the Tank Engine badges.

Docincognito - Am just as appalled as you at those parents not turning up without phoning first.

Of course there are good in bad in every walk of life.

I guess its just such a shock when someone in a so called `caring profession' makes such crass remarks!

aww jmb don't get offended we know you''re a great doc. You have to admit though some of these are so appalling they're hilarious.

The stupidest comment I've had came from ds1's reception teacher - who after having him in her class for 9 months sent us a note asking us "to sit him down and explain that pinching hurts".

I was livid until I told his SALT who roared with laughter until she had tears streaming down her face.

docingonito- if its always the same parents who don't show can you not just assume they're not coming (and sure they're probably useless). If they usually do come - give thenm the benefit of the doubt- I have nearly missed appointments just through forgetting as they're made so long in advance. Luckily our CDC rings a couple of days before to remind you (must be a common problem) and to ask if you will still be coming.

Docincognito - Find that quite shocking - a clinic held as regularly as once a month must of us SN mums on here would kill for that! Only joking, i do think it is appalling when people don't have the decency to cancel, at whatever short notice, valuable appointments that could be offered to someone else who is probably desperate for their child to be seen.

Back to the thread.....A few weeks ago I contacted our 'invisible' HV re provision of pull ups for dd who has cp and williams syndrome and can only walk with a frame and cannot stand unaided(you might remember the thread - still unresolved BTW). She was running down a check list answering all of the questions for herself without asking me, because she has had so much involvement with dd of course[wink}!!!!!, then said "oh no, she definitely won't qualify because she was walking at a normal age". Well either dh & I blinked and missed it or the HV is living on avery different planet from ours!

Also, dds paed., at the meeting where he confirmed dds dx of Williams Syndrome to us said, "It's such a shame in these cases, you have what you think is a normal baby and hold all your expectations for them, then you find out she's got cp and have to lower those expectations and now you're going to have to lower them again - but her life expectancy should be normal"
My response "I will never lower my expectations for dd or any other child that I might have in the future, as all I expect is that they live a happy life in a loving family and are able to fulfil their own potential - and I suggest that that is the advice that you give in future."

My favourite is my MIL (off piste I know but a classic) on hearing that DD had Down Syndrome - 'Oh well they can do marvellous things with plastic surgery these days.' DH just slammed phone down.

But on our medical brethren, a trainee doc on his gynae rotation preparing to give me an early scan when 9 wks pg 18 mons after DD was born (same hospital) initiating a conversation about prenatal testing options. When I asked why he was lecturing me before the scan (history of mc, DS baby all on notes) he blithely informed me that at my age there was an 'increased risk of abnormality'. I kept my cool enough to ask why he was using the word risk, what he meant by abnormality, and why he assumed I would seek tests that are invasive and carry risk.

Then wrote a very strong letter to head of dept when I got home. The EQ is at least as important as the IQ in the medical profession, although for some reason we apparently disregard this when training doctors.

The nurse at our local surgery

"Your dd is overdue her mmr"

ME "no, she is having single vaccinations"

nurse "when is she having them"

ME "she has had Measles and Mumps, Rubella is due next month"

nurse "oh well I could give her the mmr now"

AAARRRGGGHHH

MandM at what your doctor said!

Sinclair [horror!]

to jmb
I have dealt with probably 100 different dr's consultants, juniors and specialists since conceiving dd
this is the only experience I had that was negative

All of our other doctors were totally awesome, I think bedside manner could be improved though in many cases when dealing with sensitive issues like special needs, some people really do not know what they sound like!
And not just doctors!!!!!

Do doctors get any training in autism?

Not a criticism but I always assume they know nothing as the main problem I have is that they talk to ds1 in a way he couldn't possibly understand. And they demonstrate what they are going to do on teddies etc (really no point!) Having said that I was dreading our last visit to A and E (he couldn't wee) and they were wonderful and did realise that being autistic he needed to be seen quickly and couldn't wait.

Sorry

was meant to have put 'some Professionals'
I didnt mean them all!!

We are fortunate to have only of had one daft one!!

Just remembered, not a doctor tale but still a hospital one.....about three days after having dd, I was hobbling in agony on the 150m walk from the post natal ward to NICU to see dd at some ridiculous hour of the night (had had emergency c-section after 4 1/2 day labour and they were too short staffed to spare a midwife to take me there in a wheelchair). Dd was still 'touch and go' at this stage, she was ventilated because the medication they used to stop the fitting caused by the brain swelling caused by the horrifically negligent birth had caused her system to 'shut down'. As you can imagine, I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind at that particular point in time. I was met on the corridor by two porters coming the other way. One of them looked at me and said "Cheer up love. Smile. You'd think somebody had died or something." WTF

actually another few gems come to mind
as dd has this relatively rare syndrome and has it mild ish therefore quite hard to spot to the average doctor, we were asked to allow her to be a exam case for the MCRP doctors final practical exams about a yr ago in the summertime.
So my dd's top consultant and two other highly esteemed paed consultants were the examiners and there was a room full of kids with various symptoms and diagnoses...
In come the 7 or eight juniors sitting for paed specialty, these doctors have already qualified and are onto the next level...
Amongst some of the most ridiculous remarks or guesses at dd's condition
a previous brain surgery due to the shape and presentation of her fontanelle opening!!!! So some neo natal brain tumour perhaps?
Impending heart failure, due to the head sweating and murmur... it was 31deg in the shade in that room that day and dd had been asleep on her side - hence sweaty head...

It got so bad at one point I actually cried as I was sure the 3 top doctors had missed something about dd...
They did counsel me afterwards
also what worried me and I AM NOT RACIST
was that several of the doctors who had come from other countries were very hard to understand and also had trouble deciphering my replies which were in pretty lay terms, this alarmed me a lot as esp when dealing with poorly or special needs children, you need EXTRA good comunication skills... However the Zambian doctor and one young lass from Devon, got the dx right...
Sorry went on a bit there but it was a scary but fascianting experience and I did it as dd got the full once over from all 3 consultants at once and they were really useful with opinions etc... you do not get that chance often...

jimjams, I don't remember having any training in autism at all....sorry! What i do know, I expect I picked up on here.

You say, "they talk to ds1 in a way he couldn't possibly understand. And they demonstrate what they are going to do on teddies etc (really no point!)". I'm afraid , if the child is of an age to carry out a conversation (perhaps 4+?)I always talk to the child first, then take my lead from the parents if I get no answer. Without having very specific notes about any communication problems in front of me, it's impossible to tell what the child can or can't understand. I have certainly been taught to treat each child (SN or otherwise) as an individual, and to involve them as much as possible in the consultation. Is that so wrong? As for demonstrating on teddies, etc, that is pretty much standard paediatric practice these days, and is supposed to help allay fears of procedures. Surely it's better to do it for all children (even if it might not help) than to assume (maybe incorrectly) that a child won't understand?

My GP said 'Are you sure she's got Down's syndrome?' !!!!!!!

But docingonito they do this even after I've told them he can't talk!

Before any consultation I tell a doctor a) that he's severely autistic and b) that he's non-verbal. And tbh I would expect a anyone who knew the slightest thing about autism to know that demonstrating on teddies is a pointless exercise with a child with severe autism - usually at the point they're trying to do this he's peering through the keyhold or fiddling with the sink and refusing to pay any attention anyway.

It's like jakB's experience last week where the doctors asked whether her severely autistic dd had pointed to show them where it hurt- I laughed out loud when I heard that!

You have to see form the parents point of view it's just painful to go through this each time. don't mean painful as in upsetting I just mean painful as in oh my god I have to sit here with a fixed smile on my face whilst someone who is clearly clueless uses a squeeky voice and we're not going to get anywhere. It's the same as I used to feel whenever speech therapist trilled "look at the bubbles" - and I know Davros knows what I mean by that.

It's like the GP (locum) who told me off for not being able to hold him still to have his ears looked at (got quite irate with me). Having a normal ds2 I can see how different it is. No-one has managed to look in ds1's ears for the last 3 years- and I don't need to be told off about it because the GP knows nothing about autism.

The other problem with all the demonstratiing on teddies is that it means I have to keep him in the room for that much longer- which is hard enough anyway. Then he gets stressed - because whilst he doesn't know what doctors are he's bewen iin enough consultation rooms to know that eiother somethign horrible is going to happen or they're going to start asking him to do things.

I was dreading all the faffing around that I thougght would acccompany his blood test- but luckily the nurses who did it were very experienced. The sat him on dh's lap and told him to hold him, whilst one nurse held his arm rigid and the other one collected the blood. Easy- no stressing him out by trying to talk to him, no faffing aroound- just held him down and got on with it.

On out umpteenth visit to g.p trying to get dd2 diagnosed as asthmatic, the g.p said to me

'well i really don't know what else to do, what do you think ???'

I said 'i think she needs an inhaler'

He said ' oh no, i mean she's not asthmatic or anything is she'

He then said 'you look tired (to me), you should get more sleep (this after i had just said that dd slept less than 2 hours a night and was sick several times a night).
He then offered me vitamins tablets.

Also, whilst pregnant with dd1 they discovered i had a mis shaped womb, a bicornutate unterus and at one appointment the doc came in and said @so your the one with the funny womb then '.

And when i was pregnant with Ds (3rd child), the doc came in, with my notes and said, right, and this is your first child isn't it (bearing in mind the folder was as thick as a novel with all the probs i'd had before).
Then when we corrected her she flicked though my notes and said, 'right thats good, you've had nice normal deliveries'.....Erm nope, i had 2 sections, one an emergency one, can you actually read.