Where do you go for moral support?

[mm22bys]

Hi,

Following on from the thread regarding GDD, I am wondering where you go for moral support when you're down?

Alot of the suggestions on the other thread were great from a practical point of view (DLA etc), but when it's all too much (and when you are sick of all the appointments, and you just want your DC to do what it seems like "all" other children do...) who do you turn to?

My DH is fantastic, but I am lonely and feel like I need a boost and to change a few things...

Who do you turn to, especially when, with so many cases of GDD there is no specific diagnosis so no specific charity (like NAS for instance).

Thx

Friends. I'm sure I bore them, but my closest friends will at least listen, and my best friend is especially good at making suggestions - through me, I think they know more about the workings of the SN system than they ever wanted to!

Family are crap.

There are some general SN/ disability parents' groups here, though not sure I'd ever turn to them, but might be good in your area.

I find burying my head in the sand is essential when things are genuinely unmanageable and too much, just for a bit, so a night out with lots of wine or vodka or just in watching a film with a friend is good. I'm aware that not everyone can do that, but my GP and J's psychiatrist are always saying that time out of the situation is essential for my health and I think I agree that parents' mental health and physical health is essential to our kids' wellbeing, so our wellbeing must be a priority too.

I do laugh hollowly every time they say that though, cos it's great in theory, but we all know it's not always possible.

So I would say that actually friends are the best people to turn to for escapism when it all gets too much.

Hope things get easier for you xx

friends. i don't talk about private stuff on the web(to many ears)

nowhere really. I bend dh's ear but like any man he isn't good at 'lietning' and says whats the point in being sad, dd is brain damaged and thats how it is.
My mother doesn't understand and says' what?' cos she's hard of hearing and then says 'god will provide'
So I turn to prozac.

Family, friends. Family, particularly my sister, help me out; she will listen to me giving off or just offer a listening ear if I need it. As long as it's not too 'real' otherwise it upsets them, which I understand.

I also have a couple of good friends who invite me over and we talk rubbish, drink wine and smoke fags (even though we've all given up).

DP works shifts so evenings can be long and lonely at times so Sept 07 started a course part time. Now, I don't have enought time for anything!

as part of the course I have to complete 20 hours personal therapy, so I started that about 8 weeks ago. That has been the best money I have ever spent. Spent 7 out of those 8 sessions talking about DS2 and his asd. I can't tell you how beneficial I have found it.

I would definately say that since meeting other mums of sn kids at our therapy group I have got that boost, because they know exactly what I am going through as they are all going through it too. I don't really confide in family as noone can truly understand what it's like have therapy and appointments rule your life. DH is ok but like needmorecoffee said, he isn't the best at listening and doesn't feel the pressures that I do so doesn't really understand. If you can meet up with any other sn mums it may help!

Here. Prozac. And compulsive overeating. God that makes me sound like a sad cow doesn't it . I sometimes talk to friends/DH/family about stuff but find it hard to open up, or they don't get it, I'm not sure which. Actually there are a few lovely ladies on here who are always at the end of an e-mail/msn.

Friends (but I do feel I bore them); therapist (cannot afford to see her very often, but invaluable). Sadly DH doesn't seem on same wavelength. Have tried anti-depresants: helped get me over a rough patch. Compulsive overeating helps in that I can then get fraught about how awful I look instead of what's really bothering me.

Dh in the first instance. Then I might ring my MIL, because she also has pain and mobility problems (paralysed by cancer in the spine), so she understands dd's situation better than any of us. Then the support forum and Mumsnet. I do ring my own Mum quite often and she is kind and tries to say the right thing, but she's never actually lived with somebody disabled, so it is harder for her to gauge it just right.