It's tantrum hell - how do I get ds to walk besides me while out and about? Help!!

[kettlechip]

ds1 (3.3) Lang disorder or HFA has never been stroppy, never really had tantrums until the last month. Now he flings himself to the floor and howls at least two or three times a day. Fine if it's in our house, I walk off and leave him. Not so in a busy preschool carpark.

What do I do? He will not go in a pushchair, will not hold my hand and walk nicely with me. I am always laden down with bags and ds2 so it becomes a nightmare trying to restrain him with my free hand. A temporary fix would be putting ds2 in a pushchair with bags, and ds1 on reins, but it's a palava (although there isn't a choice if safety's at risk) and I'd rather just train him to walk with me.

Any ideas please?

It is tricky. If it's a safety issue then I would do my best to put him in the buggy or onto the reins whilst you have your other ds to look after as well or/and you have your bags. Perhaps he would be better learning to walk besides you at a time and place where there are few distractions, but bear in mind that he could well be overwhelmed at his environment when he reacts negatively when out and that, for the time being at least, even if he understands to walk nicely by you, he may not always be capable of it.

What about a buggy board? DS2 could go in pushchair, and DS1 getting a ride on the buggyboard. They're hard work on your arms / back but you'd have DS1 contained, and he might like the novelty of it.

Hmmm,
well, it's just a theory, but I think that everyone gets the terrible twos at some point. Some get it at 18 months, some get it at 3. Hopefully it won't last long.
Don't have any advice as all my ideas are ones you'll know of too.

Such a tricky one!
We managed to get my DS to hold hands by taking him out (myself and my DH) and doing 1 2 3 whee with him while holding a hand each... which he absolutely loved..

Now he holds hands with me and his sister in the hope that we will do it to him, even going so far as trying to jump as we walk...he does not seem to have noticed she is the same size as him!

It really worked for us so may be worth a go...

thanks all, peasmummy, he does love the 1,2,3 whee thing but while it works well on a country walk, it's the crossing the road or carpark scenario where I struggle at the moment and ds2 is only 14 months and can barely walk himself!

Buggyboard a great idea, think he would like that. Will have a trawl on ebay now.

and lingle, I think you're right about the terrible two's hititng us all. Unfortunately ds1 is having them late and ds2 is having them early, so it's a treat in our house at the moment!!

Jimjams got her DS1 to walk beside her - and he's really good at it, as I've witnessed! I know that Growing Minds gave her some strategies and it didn't take very long - mind you her DS is much older. Hopefully she'll be along to tell you how she did it!

Practise walking either beside the buggy with one hand on the handle or holding hands. (Dd prefers the handle to holding hands) When you have time just walk around and have a bag of goodies handy. Crisps, chocolate, sweets, carrots, grapes whatever works (cut up small) and give one every now and then with lots of praise when walking nicely.

Thats what I did with mine. She walks beautifully now except when she wants to pick daisies in which case she dives down to the grass suddenly. Still working on that one.

Takes a lot of patience and loads of time.

Hi Kettlechip. Instead of the buggy board have a look [www.joovy.com here] They are fantastic and a lot easier on your back! They have a seat with a harness (you could also use extra reins if nec) and a step. They will take a baby and a toddler upto about 5yo I think, although I have had my ds on the back and hes the size of a ten yr old. (in an emergency) They didnt take long to ship over and the £/$ exchange is quite good at the moment.

sorry keep doing this here

thanks monstermansmum! and sweetgrapes, will try that today. I think lots of practice is what's needed. We're unable to explain the difference between him running ahead where it's safe and where it isn't, so I think the policy will have to be him walking beside us at all times for the moment.

Hi mel, thanks for reminding me we do actually own one of those little life backpacks, and I must dig it out! Took him out this morning for "walking practice" to the eden project which is near where we live and relatively safe and contained for small children. He ran ahead a few times, including once out of sight, but when we rounded the corner he was standing waiting for us. He kept checking back to see where we were too.

I think he's just hit a more independent phase, and wants to do his own thing. If he had better road awareness it would be fine but he just doesn't, and that's the issue at the moment. Will definitely try ds2 in pushchair, ds1 with little life pack at preschool on Monday, and see if that works.