Asperger's and Homework

[Tiggiwinkle]

DS5 is 9 and in year 5. In previous years "homework" has consisted of learning spellings and times tables. DS would never even bring them home to learn, but it was not really an issue because he knew them all without learning them anyway.

Now, however, the teacher is setting actual pieces of work. She sets them on a Wednesday to be handed in on a Monday.

Ds absolutely refuses to do them. For one thing, a lot of the work has been of an imaginative nature, which he finds extremely difficult anyway. But the main reason is that he likes to keep "home" and "school' separate-not unusual in children with AS apparently.

Does anyone else have this problem and if so, how do you cope with it?

I am reluctant to make it into a big issue, because he does not like school anyway. He is due to be seen at the CDC this week with anxiety related issues, inclusing OCD symptoms.

This probably needs a lot of thought between the school and you as parent, and ideas from DS as well. As he gets older, he'll have to tackle some homework at home, so finding the right way to do this is going to be more and more important.

First thing that came to my mind was how I tackled it. I had a routine that I found that worked for me - I would come home, and immediately do the homework so that it was 'part of the school day', then stop. He needs to find a compromise that works for him. He might need a break after school to unwind in first, for example, then a set hour at home where he has someone to guide him if it's something imaginative and he needs more guidance. I must admit to not having a clue about much of English Literature or poetry etc, though I could write funny stories based on how I saw the world. You're right that it can't be a battle in which he makes mistakes - we absolutely hate making mistakes and it takes us SO long to get our confidence back. That's why we like maths, science etc - there's answers that are right, and no-one can say "Oh I don't like that answer, I'd have preferred it if 2+2 equals 6 today".

Definitely worth getting the school and outside professionals thinking about it with you.

Would it help if he had somewhere other than at home to do the work, eg a library or somewhere?

Does the school have a homework club where he could do the work? It's not a long-term solution obviously but it might help him get used to the idea of doing extra work but in what he thinks is the 'right' place?

Amber - I could easily imagine my 2 boys writing a similar post to yours in a few years time. It describes them perfectly, even down to the prefering maths and science because there is usually a right answer.

Thanks Amber-I have already requested a meeting with his teacher and the SENCO to discuss this and other issues.

You are right about the maths-he has absolutely no problems with that and is way ahead in it.

He does need to unwind after school-he gets very stressed with it and hates even telling me anything about his day.

He has been referred to the ed psych but has not been seen by her yet. They have a lot of trouble getting him to complete a lot of his work in class too. If it is too easy he will not do it-he does not see the point. Conversely if he cannot do it to the very high standard he sets himself he destroys whatever he has done. He ends up with very little completed work.

Coppertop-there are no facilities at school for doing homework. (The school closes at 3.30.) I don't think he would be able to concentrate in a strange place such as a library either.

He has all the facilities to do the work here including his own computer, but it is this mental block.

On the few occasions I have managed to get him to do the work, it takes him ages because he starts again every time he makes a mistake...

Bullet admits to hating maths with a passion and loving English literature and history .

Ooh the whole coming out of school, firing lunchbox at you and glaring until he has "come down"?

How is he with timetables? Would it help if you made a proper timetable with a slot for homework (after the come down time) - if it is a planned event written down, DD is much more co-operative.

Ah yes, that is exactly the scene Flame!

I could try the timetable thing; he does respond well to visual timetables generally speaking.

DSis used to do it too - my mum sniggers seeing DD doing exactly the same thing. We had it on the way IN today which was novel. Her teacher can have that version of her instead!

Our mornings used to be horrendous in years 1 and 2. He is not too bad now as long as everything is kept to his strict routine.

(Bullet, you love English Literature? Wish I could - it's just a confusing muddle of names and ideas. I'm no good at comparing the thoughts of lots of different people on something, you know the sort where you have to write "According to Mr Bloggins, this work was typical of the essays of Fred Scuttle, whereas Mr Thricenightly believes that it is more typical of the early works of Greta Bucket". No clue how to spot that kind of pattern, or identify who's who. I'm hopeless at the "Go and find Sid and tell him to get Fred to bring Jane's book to Harriet's house, will you?" I wouldn't be able to tell you whose book, whose house, or anything else about 'who' even if someone repeated it to me several times. )

About coming out of school - he'll be completely 'out of spoons' (look up Christine Miserando's excellent Spoons Theory). Let him go to his safe place and do something aspie for a while with no human contact. Then he'll be ready for well prepared and explained homework, I'd think.

Thank you amber-have just read the "Spoons Theory"! I do understand how he feels when he comes out. He always goes on the computer for a while and settles himself that way.

Is is interesting what you say about literature. He has an advanced reading age but finds it very hard to follow a story. He usually gives up on a book after the first chapter or so. He insists on understanding everything that is said in minute detail and will not carry on until he does so-but the whole thing becomes so laborious he gets fed up with it.

We generally stick to reference and factual books.

"(Bullet, you love English Literature? Wish I could - it's just a confusing muddle of names and ideas. I'm no good at comparing the thoughts of lots of different people on something, you know the sort where you have to write "According to Mr Bloggins, this work was typical of the essays of Fred Scuttle, whereas Mr Thricenightly believes that it is more typical of the early works of Greta Bucket"."
You don't have to do that though, I never did. Just gave my own opinions on the work, included quotes about the book from other sources if I considered them relevant but didn't think I had to compare how one critic thought of the writing with either myself or somebody else.
You have (well you don't, but you might want to ) understand that with me I have been reading constantly since a very young age, I have had an intense love of books (albeit rather narrow in subject matter) since I was tiny. Pre children I could - and did - read two to three average sized novels a day. With children it's down to one, but that is because of the committments caused by having said children and not a decrease in my reading speed. I'm doing the Nano WrMo again this month, started on the 1st November and am up to 47,120 words now so expect to finish it tonight. When I write or read a story I see everything happening as though I'm watching a film and get very very absorbed in it. The books I read and the writing I do are primarily plot driven, ones which deal with character development and relationships for example are almost impossible for me to fathom. That's why I love Agatha Christie and Conan Doyle detective stories because they are mostly about the plot, they have a clear structure about them (Hercule Poirot stories especially often follow a very similar pattern each time) and they are concluded neatly. When I was taking my A levels and degree in the subject I would steer clear as much as I could from questions which did not focus on the plot of the book, but rather how it could be interpreted through, say, a feminist perspective. In a similar sort of way I suppose I am drawn towards history, the events have already happened so I feel a sort of control when researching or reading about past events.
Interestingly your reason for not liking English is very similar to my reason for not liking maths, in that being able to see how the diferent equations in a sum, for example, fit together is something I can not do. I view maths like a set of cogs all whirring round and you have to see how cog a's turning anticlockwise will affect cog b. If in your mind all you see are the cogs madly turning round you won't be able to see how one influences the other. So, for example, those algebraic equations along the lines of if r is 2x a and d is 4x z, then z must be 3x ? are impossible (and yes, I do realise that sum may well be impossible, I just wrote random things down but I hope you understand what I mean). There is a structure within maths that enables me to understand - and much better since I was able to use my own workings out - some basic parts of it, I have a reasonably good method of long multiplication and long division now which I could never get when taught a more conventional way at school.

Bullet, oooh, that's interesting! I hadn't thought of any of it that way before...thank you

tiggiwinkle - if it makes you feel any better ds1 has suddenly got much better about making mistakes - he used to rip the page out every time and have to start again, and consequently got very little down on paper - he's now y7 and this term has finally come to terms with crossing things out and keeping on going - he quite often uses the computer for homework too especially if he's only being marked on the content (eg Latin translation) as correcting mistakes is so much quicker and easier