My son is wating for an assessment - help please with this list

[lemonstartree]

My son is just 10. There has always been something 'different' abut him, but this has become signifiantly more marked in the last 12 months. He has an assessment with our local child psych on 21st Nov and (because I will forget what I want to say when I get in there) dh and I have made a list of our concerns. It looks like this

Extreme Disorganisation
? Difficulty in accepting blame/responsibility
? Very Poor short term memory
? Invention of fictitious facts
? Black and white thinking
? Poor peer relationships
? Inability to learn from mistakes
? Difficulty in understanding consequences of his behaviour
? Poor judgement ? trusting people inappropriately
? Difficulty in concentrating on difficult tasks
? Fiddling constantly
? Does not understand contextual language
? Dyslexia
? Possible dyspraxia
? Poor self esteem (a result of the above issues

does this look like any kind of ASD?

if that was what he has, what kind of help is out there/available ?

thanks so much for any help

lst x

I am not sure but want to bump you up to the top. Dd2 who is actually my step daughter, has many of these but also allergies. Have you ever tackled it from a food perspective? Is he changing schools next year? Could this worry be making him worse?

My sympathies, dd2 cannot empathize or learn from mistakes. She has also stolen and lied but can never explain why. She thinks the whole world is out to get her and does not make friends easily. We have tried lots of different things from art therapy to assesmemts but then she says as she is in therapy she must be a freak therefore it is ok to behave badly.

We have tried many types of possitive parenting but the only one she responds to is treating her as you would a 5 year old. She changes school next year so that is not going to help, sometimes at a loss.

I hope the assesment can help uncover why your ds is having these issues, do you think he will be open to talking? Good luck Hun xx

She is also 10 btw ..

Hi Lemontree

lack of or variable eye contact and being routine bound would be difficulties that my ds2 experiences.

I think it's a good idea to write your concerns down so that you feel prepared.

This is a good place to get support and information. Check out some of the other threads.

I'm sorry that I'm not much help but I'm sure there will be others that will reply with better info.

Good luck with the assessment.

thanks you so much for this. I have read some of the other threads and find everyoe so inspirational. I am scared to death and mourning the 'normal' ds I thought I had, and terrified of his going to secondary school and so anxious abit the future for him

But he is yours and you love him so when all is said and done that is all that matters.So he maybe in for a rough ride, you will be there for sure. xx

what a lovely message blue bumedfly. I just had to write as it had me think about my relationship with my own DD1. DS1 is 9 and is just your average child at school where as DD1 is 6 and has had a tough time with epilepsy, cystic fibrosis, dispraxia speech and language delay. she is behind in everything and everything for her is just difficult, she finds social situations a nightmare and it is easy to get so down about what she can't do. But you're so right. She is mine and i love her and that is all that matters. As long as she has that love she WILL be fine.

Julier - your DD will be fine you are right, nothing heals quite like a mothers love. And what does not heal can be worked around.... even if you have to hit the cooking sherry every now and then!

Julier & lemon - sorry, just thought of one more thing. DD2 maybe all of those things I listed about, however, at a party she goes out of her way to bring DD1 back something like a biscuit or balloon or even the cake that she herself cannot eat as she is anaphylactic to nuts. DD1 is a normal happy healthy child and she would never think to do this for her sister.

They all have their golden bits which make them stand out, sometimes we just have to search a little harder. xx

that is a lovely message, I do love him so much it hurts and I feel for him every time he is not invited to ANOTHER party and his little face is disappointed but tries to be brave. ... thanks for responding

In a curious way, though, it's perhaps helping him not to go to the parties. If I can try to explain... For him, the party might be so bright, so noisy, so social, so filled with sensory overload, that he wouldn't cope well at it no matter how hard he tried. It might be easier for him to find friends through a shared favourite hobby or task - it certainly was for me. Parties are still someting that I endure the same way as you'd endure a filling at the dentist, even if I want to make friends. What are his interests? What club or society would allow him to follow that dream? Then we can start to explore the world and expand what we can do from the safety of that starting-point .

Yes, I agree it's hard to face the disappointment sometimes but I have got my head around it now - DS2 would find things like parties, big get togethers stressful so I pick and choose what I feel would suit us all best. Well, it's more about accepting what's not for us.

Amber, you are absolutely right - I think the key is a shared hobby or activity. I finally rang the Beaver Leader tonight and explained that I thought it would be better if we stopped going. She understood and I feel better.

I can't believe it but he likes chess! As bluebumedfly says, they all have their golden bits!

Out of all the points on your list, I would work on the self esteem (easy to say, hard to do). My ds has dyspraxia and a number of things on your list ring bells with me about him. The overwhelming thing I want for him is to be confident and happy, which he is not. I/he can live with all the other difficulties on his life, we can work round them. The self esteem bit is the hard one. Finding activities he is good at is a start. My ds too likes chess