Sleep deprivation...how do you deal with it?

[runikka]

Daniel for past three months or so has been waking up every night between 1am and 6am for an average of 2-3hrs at a time. He is undergoing assessment for gastro problems but wakes up in varying degrees of cheerful to completely distressed and bent over with pain. We take turns to sit with him but it is taking a serious toll.

We have been told to keep him up late but he is on melatonin to get him off to sleep. However, he cannot stay up past 7-7.30pm without getting distressed as he is desperate to go off to sleep but cannot with the melatonin to help him.

We keep getting told to sleep when he sleeps but my husband is working late shifts and I have to work in the evenings (paperwork) to make up for shorter days in the office. We both work equivalent to full time hours but just cannot get by on 4-5hrs interrupted sleep a night.

Can you cut down on your hours? I worked part-time as there is no way I could work full time and deal with all that SN entail.

Do you get DLA? If not, could you apply? It's not much but may allow you to drop a few hours.

Something will need to give, and you need to make sure it's not your health or sanity, your child needs you to be well, obvious I know but it's too easy to put them first and forget your own needs.

I do feel for you as I have a baby and disrupted sleep with that too, I nap in the day and sometimes evening too I just don't have the energy to do anything else just now.

Many thanks for your reply.

We do get DLA but are putting towards his special diet as he is costing us a small fortune in gf/cf bread right now and we are also hoping to start an ABA tutor once a week aswell.

Unfortunately I cannot cut my hours and stay in my job. We have a huge mortgage and rely on both salaries just to get by now.

I know what you are saying is right, I just cant see we can drop anything

Oh dear . What a difficult position you are in. I do worry for your health when you are not getting enough sleep and still having to go out to work (ie can't then catch up during the day). How about going to bed when your lo does a couple of nights a week? As you'll know from your lo's babyhood, you do adjust to broken sleep but you still need to get enough sleep in the long run, so a few very early nights might help.

You might be able to get special dietary things on prescription via your GP - some people do. There are also lots of other ways to make money such as taking in a lodger (not ideal I know, but sometimes something has to give), if there is a college close to you they are often looking for accommodation for foreign students. Income is also not taxable up to about £500 a month. Is there something you can do from home?

Hope you can find a solution soon.

Have you factored Carers Allowance into the equation? I know that CA is like pissing in the sodding ocean in terms of paying bills and meeting overheads, but if you maybe did what tellyaddict suggests and had CA....And tax credits for that matter.

Can your paed maybe suggest some medication to help manage his GI pain when that's what causes him to wake?

I do empathise runnika - DH and I work F/T and when dd goes through a run of not sleeping it kills us. I wish I knew what else to suggest.

What I often do is get in bed with ds when he goes up, we can have a story and a cuddle and he goes off to sleep much more quickly. I stay with him for an hour or two's uninterrupted sleep which helps me feel I've caught up a bit and then I get up and have the some time watching tv with dh or working or whatever. It's still no fun when ds wakes me up at 3am and charges around the house until dawn but I don't feel quite so deprived, knowing I've already had an extra nap.
I don't do it every night because I don't want him to lose the ability to go to sleep on his own (it was hard-won) but every little helps.