This has probably been done to death but my child doesn't speak. He's 2. What can I do?

[yesmynameisigglepiggle]

He turned 2 yesterday. He has a few words. Uh. Mama. Dada. And various other words he can say but never uses (can repeat them). We always know what he wants and he has more than perfect understanding.Some if his behaviour concerns me. He is obsessive. VERY. He becomes obsessed with an object then a few weeks later another object.Sometimes I have ended up taking a bike to bed as he is so attatched to it he just has to have it next to him. He loves routine (don't all kids???)He is very very affectionate. He plays alongside his siblings (and does normal things like take their toys, sometimes smacks!), but is extremely shy with other children and if an adult talks to him puts his head down and runs to me.I am really worried sick. He is normal to me but when I socialise I see he is different. He spends the whole of toddter group riding one toy and if anyone else gets it it is a real tantrum. And nothing will console him at all.I am worried sick. I can't sleep or eat. I get stressed when I don't know what he wants and so does he.But is he just being a boy?? A toddler?? What do I do, do I go to GP or to Health Visitor??? Or am I just being neurotic and expecting perfection?Thanks for reading if you read this far.

Thanks so much for your replies and support. I am going to ring the HV to see if they have 2 year check and if not ask if I can request one. My son is extremely physically able but obsessive. He has a bit of speech but no language. Sometimes I feel I am making this up in my head! I avoid going to any toddler groups now in case he has a tantrum or somebody asks why he has brough a wire plug and won't let go of it!

'and he has more than perfect understanding'

If he has normal understanding then that's a good sign. Does he follow 2 step instructions in a context where there are no visual cues - like shoes or coat ?

I would bypass the HV (she'll likely refer you anyway) and go instead to your GP to request a referral to a developmental paed (note that type of pead) at a child development centre.

CAMHS certainly have their place but they are not always the best people to see,

Write down all that concerns you have re your son before seeing the paed.

I don't know if it would help but we have private health cover. Never used it so don't know if it would make any difference.

He follows instructions well. In fact that is his favorite thing to do. So if i say go and get your nappies he will get them, or if I say go and get Mummy's shoes (please obv) he will bring them. Always inappropriate footwear though! Also I find him lying on changing mat ready for me to change his bum but he won't sit on the potty. He will sit his bear on the potty though which is good.
Main concerns are

-speech. Only uses 2 or 3 words but can repeat about 8

• obsessin with objects (rarely a toy) all consuming obsession
• will only watch or let anyone else watch 1 programme (night garden)

-always has to have weetabix as soon as wakes up routine. As soon as Dh goes to work wants to go outside and waits by door until I let him out. If i bath him too long before bed he gets upset that it is not bed time and has to go and lay in bed with his teddy.

• in his own world/does his own thing in group situations. Most people see this as good behaviour. My Mum pointed out that he was different to my other children in that he likes to do his own thing. But he does like peekaboo and hiding under a blanket

-SHyness, looking away when an adult or child speaks or running away.

Also a new thing is his frustration. He will nip because he can't articulate what he wants/needs.

Are a lot of these normal?? Or not? My head is hurting now!!!!

We went the route of asking GP for a referral to the local Child Development Centre when DS3 was two.

DH also took him along to a local drop-in run by SALTs and Early Years team which was for parents of children with speech delay etc.

So we had two routes into "The System".

If you are worried, don't delay, ask for the referral now.

DS3 is now 4 1/4 and was dx'd with autism when he was 2 3/4. He is still pretty much non-verbal and is very obviously autistic in a lot of his mannerisms, obsessions etc but is making progress all the same.

Sympathies, it is horribly all-consuming when you are at the "is there, or isn't there, something wrong with my child" stage. It actually gets better in a funny kind of way when a dx is given.

In answer to your post about whether any of these sound familiar - well, I don't want to freak you out, but some of them do sound quite like my DS3, but obviously no-one can dx your son over the internet, so do go ahead and ask for that referral.

hi there, we had private cover and used it to get my ds an appointment with ENT as his hearing was one of the first things to be checked. We couldn't use our cover for his speech or pediatric appointments in relation to suspected speech disorder or ASD though, as that's considered a behavioural problem and therefore not covered.
Worth checking with your provider though, we were BUPA I think.

Also worth keeping in touch with your HV, she got us moved to the top of the waiting list as I was making myself ill with the worry.

It is absolutely horrible, especially the early stages where you know something is wrong but not what, but I promise you will feel a bit better as you know more. My ds has improved dramatically between age 2 and 3, and gained lots of speech. I found a SALT report from Jan, where she only recorded him saying one word "uh" for up. 10 months on he has about 600 words and has started to use sentences.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

Alot of things you have said could be normal two year old stuff, such as the routines, and the tantrums. It is also actually a good thing that he is shy with people he doesn't know, this is an important part of social development. My 3.6 year old was diagnosed with autism a year ago, and from a very early age he would go to any-one, which was most bizarre. Although your son does not have many words, the words he des have such as'mama' 'dada', does he use them to get your's and daddy's attention, if he does then that is very good. If he likes to repeat the sounds, as in 'mamamamama' and 'dadadada', then that shows that he is practicing the sounds and is also good news. The repeating words is not too much to worry about, since all children go through a period of this, and it can be a part of normal speech development.
The obsessions sound a little strange, but if he changes it regularly then that might not be anything to worry about. His ability to follow instructions is great.
Look up a website called 'first signs here there is alot of information here and I found it very useful.
I definately agree that you should ask for a referral via your gp.
Your son sounds as though he is doing very well in lots of ways, especially the practicing words. I hope that everything works out for your ds, and if he is diagnosed with anything, then you are doing well to get help early.

sorry, try again!

sorry, try again!

Thanks so much for your support! I am in tears here, it's so lovely that people understand. My sister said to DS yesterday. Wht don't you just speak to me, it will be so much better when you can talk instead of say uh uh uh all the time. Even if there is nothing 'wrong' and he is just a bit slow or quirky it was still hurtful.

He does say mama to get attention but don't think it is specific to me. And he would give anyone a cuddle or kiss if I told him to. He seems to thrive on being told what to do really. I don't feel freaked out when anyone says something may not be normal. DS is DS, absolutely adorable. But I just want to help him and for him to fit in and be able to just go places without him wanting to leave or cling to one toy.(like toddter groups)

And it's really hard because I am so close to him that what is actually normal for him ( and Me) is not very normal at all. And I can't even remember what my other children were like at this age lol.

The First Signs site Deeja directed you to is a good place to start. How is he for basic things like turning to his name and bringing you (unprompted) things to share or to see ?

no you're not being neurotic! trust your instincts and insist on a referral. He may or may not be somewhere on the spectrum but you both need support.
my son was dx with autism on his 2nd birthday! changing his diet made a BIG impact on his moods, sleeping, behaviours and poo's. He's now 3 1/2
What is your son like with these issues?

big hug
jane g

erm, feel bad but don't think he brings me things but if he sees iggle piggle anywhere he will point and smile. Pretty sure he knows his name but in a play centre/group appers deaf to it. He is a happy boy, really lovely. Some days he seems fine, others he is terribly obsessive. I just got his ball and he screamed NO!, grabbed it off me and put it back, went to sit down then stood up and went to get it himself (normal toddler behaviour? 0 Have i just got a stubborn, grumpy (lovely) little boy not yet ready to speak and very possessive about his things because he has older siblings, maybe. I am racking my brains trying to think what the others were like at this age. I feel upset because all his peers are talking and he has had ZERO speech development in about 6 months.

Have had a quick look at the website, thanks. Of the red flags maybe a couple, so maybe a good sign. And the milestones, he pushes a pram with a baby in, understands things, looks for objects... but doesn't enjoy his peers, or use speech (only 3 words I think 'dada' for dog when he sees dog, 'night' but these are only when I tell him to he would never speak randomly!

I think I can remember you posting something about your ds awhile back (I remember your name, with Iggle Piggle in it!).

First of all, you have concerns about your ds's development, your instincts are telling you something is amiss but you don't know why....so, you need to see a GP and insist on a referral to either a community paed. or a developmental paed (in fact, if you see a community paed. first, they may assess your ds and then refer you onwards to a development paed. if they are also concerned - it's up to you whether you want to cut out the middle wo/man).

Second, although your ds is giving you cause for concern, it sounds as though he has some good skills already in place (forget the tantrums, etc, for now) - the fact that he can speak is a good sign (my ds is non-verbal so has never 'proved' if he can actually talk or not) and the fact that he points to Iggle Piggle is also a good sign (my ds has never pointed).

However, some of the behaviours you have described, such as his obsessions, rigidity and lack of social skills, could indicate that he has a social communication disorder; this is why you should seek professional help to determine if this is the case or not.

Lastly, if it turns out that your ds does have a developmental disorder - or a delay - then it is not because of anything you have or have not done. I hope you get some answers soon and good luck - feel free to ask any further questions.

hi my son has aad , does not mean your child has anything of the sort, speech delay is also sometimes developmental dealy which ,my son has also, get a camhs assessment done, write directly to your paediatrician if you have one, complaim, you will get an assessment soon, i also complained the the director general in the hospital ..it got the ball rolling, speech therapists, gentics, camhs,etc.,
loads of good books at jpk jessica kingsleys publishers, a whole heap; best way to get speech is through verbal behaviour or applied behaviour analysis if there is any kind of delay or autism, i don't want to worry you, bu t these techniques work with all types of kids with speech delay, other wize a speech therapist, christopher place is good for children under 5 in london or the association of speech therapists, be calm, good luck!

now THAT is extremely normal (the 'only i am allowed to bring the ball - how dare YOU do it') all 3 of mine did that - it's part of him exerting his independence and understanding that he can make his own decisions. some of mine have taken twenty minutes to stop throwing a tantrum if i dare to get something they wanted to fetch themselves...
lots of it do sound like entirely normal toddler behaviour, but any mum that has concerns should be taken seriously to put her mind at rest, or put in help and support where necessary. ask for a referral.
kids don't usually start playing reliably with (as opposed to alongside) other children for ages yet, so i wouldn't worry about that - and loads of kids don't talk until past two... some have sn, some don't...

p.s. any info you would like to know on autism is found at www.autism.com and also www.treatingautism.com and the autismfile.com

they have recovered some children with biomedical supplements

there are always ways to make your child improve...

If you want to do some research you can go to the Autism Research Institute online and fill in an ATEC test. This asks you a load of questions and will give you an idea what you are up against.

Best wishes Sal