Is this atypical behaviour for a child with Aspergers?

[mabanana]

Hello, my son is seven and has Aspergers, but he can be hugely empathetic and has no difficulty at all reading expressions - ie you can show him a face (cartoon or photograph) and he can tell you what that person is thinking/feeling. I was watching Strictly and ds asked me why Mark Foster looked sad, and I explained that the judges didn't think his dance was very good, then ds saw his low marks and absolutely begged me to vote for him to help him out. I have read so much depressing NAS literature about inability to read faces and lack of empathy, that I wondered if this was atypical.

Hi mabanana, my ds is 4.7 and has AS. He also has no problems with reading expressions. His report says that whilst he can easily read an emotion, he doesn't empathise with the feeling. He does ask a lot of questions like 'Why is x sad/happy/cross etc'. He has problems at school wih pushing other children that apparently come from lack of empathy. I think that there is probably a big gap between knowing why someone is emotional for some reason and actually empathising with it. But in your case it seems your ds did empathise if he wanted you to vote!

Have you felt that he has ever not understood gesture or expression?

No, I think he understands, but I think he doesn't always know how to react in order to make the person feel better. But the other day a friend of my 3 year old dd came to play and she had a sore eye after being hit by a playmate. Ds said, 'Oh poor you. Are you alright. What happened?' and when it was explained that a child had hurt her accidentally he said, crossly, 'well, he should have been more careful!" He really likes dd's friends!
I think he has hugely improved over the last year actually.

My DS is also 7 and we tried him out on the photo quiz of facial expressions on Simon Baron-Cohen's website, he was very good, but the photo's are static, put him in a situation where there is back and forth conversation, movement and fleeting expressions and he gets left behind and switches off thus seeming unempathetic. I don't think children with asperger's are really unempathetic, they can be empathetic but only when they are able to, not when they are overwhelmed, and often with a time delay. I think it is like me with French, I can translate a newspaper article (or i could many years ago!) but i couldn't follow conversations at a party full of French people although bits would come back to me as I walked home.

It's very variable. On that test that has just the eyes, I might as well have guessed wildly.

I can't recognise people out of context or in a crowd of people or if I haven't met them a lot. But hubby can (he's aspie as well). I can tell if someone looks very sad or happy, though more subtle things aren't obvious to me at all, but hubby simply can't tell. He'll tell me I look happy when I'm sad - sheer guesswork. I can guess what people will be feeling if I know what the cause is and can remember how I felt when it happened to me, so as I get more experiences in life, I can make better guesses and say more appropriate things (or at least hope I do!!). It's allowed me to build a number of good friendships with people, who say I'm a good listener. But I can 'switch off' the empathy, which others can't. If I see something very distressing, I can choose to think about it, or choose not to. Mostly I'm interested in the social justice side of things. If something is unfair, that is something I will focus very strongly on, for myself or for others.

Hi, my son is 11 and has AS and is very empathetic (this has been confirmed by school and professionals, so not just us being hopeful ). Although 7 is very young for an AS child to be empathetic ime, but how wonderful ! My son is also very good at reading facial expressions, although he did struggle with the milder ones for a while, he is getting there now.

Just wanted to share a wee story that happened the other day. My DS2 is on the spectrum.

I wasn't feeling well and I stretched out on the sofa for a minute or two and anyway he came into the sitting room, gave me a teddy and wrapped me up in a blanket.

It was lovely!

The other 2 beasts couldn't have cared less!!

ah bless your ds, helensmelons!!

atypical or not, what your son is is a nice person.

Lovely stories! And thnaks Lingle - I think so

ds is 11 and can read the obvious facial expressions. Happy, Sad etc. It's the more subtle ones he can't do at all.
He does show empathy...but i agree with someone else in that it seems to take a while to kick in and there always seems to be a time delay.
Actually..most of these things he is learning as he gets older. He's learning what he ought to do in these sorts of situations....its very slow going though

my son is 15 and has no trouble with facial expressions. Now he's older he's better on empathy than he was - well, as much as any teenage boy!

my dh has aspergers and definitely shows empathy (albeit sometimes in quite a basic way) probably better than any other man i've been out with.

It's very encouraging to hear such nice stories!

My DS2 definitely has a perceptive role in our family. He'll be the one that sits on your knee or brings me a toy or something like that when I'm tired, sad, mad or whatever! It makes up for the times, that I have to chase him round the shops in circles!

I think that he does what he thinks is the logical thing to do or, perhaps what he is learning to do.