Horrible day at school where do i start !

[Kazann]

My DD has had the most awful day at school again everything in writing all 3 pages of A4 of what happened pulled a teachers hair, licked peoples hands showed all and sundry her knickers didnt do any work ran around and numerous other things. I am sitting here crying, Feel so lost don't understand days are either really good or really bad, I leave my job and cross my fingers for the whole 5 minute walk to school that my fairy godmother has came and waved her magic wand over my DD and made it a good day.
Went to a meeting last night about the diagnosis of autism and aspergers so much information felt like my head was going to blow up definately need to get referral for DD. Also had meeting with new EP and the one from her nurture unit suggested visual timetable separate table shorter lessons with breaks, clear instructions etc
Not sure if any of it is going to work as evryone who meets DD says they have never met a child like her.
This is her 5th week at school and i havent had one day without having someone come and talk to me, of course i want to know whats going on but i look around me sometimes and think how nice it would be to be like the other parents and just pick her up and go home.
Can anyone out there cheer me up PLEASE.

I don't know if I can cheer you up but my DS was very similiar to this in reception and year 1. I could go on for pages about the hitting, pulling hair, licking, screaming. He actually pooed in PE and another child picked it up and brought it to the teacher. I nearly crapped myself as well when I heard that. His verbal skills were almost non-existant at that point.

He is now in year 4 and doing well in mainstream. His verbal skills are pretty good and he functions very average academically as long as someone helps him focus. He is known for being a very polite, quiet boy. He still struggles especially with loud noises etc and he has problems paying attention and following directions but is well liked at school.

I don't really know what is happening with your dd so it is hard to predict the future but I will be sending postive thoughts.

Aww chick

My ds had really bad problems when he first started school and I felt just like you about going to pick him up His school also said they had never met anyone like him - so did the EP. I have since come to the conclusion that they were all complete crap as having read up so much on ASd's and ADHD its clear that ds behaviour was typical of some children with those needs.

We took him out of that school in the end and he started in a new school who were completelt fab. He also got a statement which really helped as the school were able to give him 1:1. DS was only dx a few weeks ago and he has just started at middle school. He's struggling at the moment as he can't deal with all the changes but its nothing like when he first started reception.

{{{hugs}}}

(hug)
When they tell you what she has done calmly ask what they have put in place to support her and help her not do x again.
(Sorry have to dash.)

TROUTPOUT you wanted to know about my girl had a bad reception year at school in middle of year was dx with absence epilepsy was referred to a nurture unit for a year and had a reasonably good year in a class of 12 has just gone back into mainstream school 3rd school in 3 years managed to get a 10 hour statement for social and communication problems which the school have got upped to 15 hours but they cant cope and are trying to get 31 hours.
I know there is something more going on so am starting to shout and make a fuss as so far no one has agreed with me school is on my side have a good EP but everything takes so long.
There was 2 meetings yesterday one at school and 1 in the evening a general meeting on Autism that we went to just to get some info.
My DD is having a really hard time adjusting to mainstream school again and after a relatively calm year in nurture unit we seem to be back at square one with all the problems of reception year returning with a vengeance

Hi Kazann. Sorry your daughter has had such a rotten day and you're feeling so low about it. Thinking positively, at least school are letting you know what's happening and are raising concerns - it's so much harder to deal with when everything is hidden and you're left out of the loop. Hope you can get some decent support for her.

DUSTY STAR sorry it was you that asked about my girl and i got muddled up and thought it was troutpout i have had one of those days sorry previous message to troutpout meant for you apoigies to everyone having a blonde moment.

It's so hard isn't it?
How did you find the meeting last night about autism? I found it all rather shocking at first.
At least they are doing something although it sounds like there is a long way to go.I think magso is right too, you do need to turn it back on them a bit ...ask them what they are doing to help your girl in the classroom and to stop particular behaviours. Have they put through a request for more hours?
Hope things get easier soon

So much to take in lots of variations of autism all a bit mind blowing kept changing my mind one minute think she has it then i think it may be something else found it scary that it can take 2 years for a child to be assessed.
The EP left a list of things they want the school to do in the classroom so it will be interesting to see if any changes are made i think half the problem is the TA is to soft and not very firm or clear when i picked DD up today the TA started to cry because she had a bad day. They have put a request in for more hours goes to panel next wednesday a week today. I do feel the school are being supportive but i dont think they have had much experience with SN children

How has today been Kazann?

You were right the first time by the way - it was troutpout who asked about your dd My post was more of a "been there and completely understand what you're going through".

I agree with magso and trout that you need to ask the school what strategies they are going to put in place to support your dd.

Hi Dustystar Thurs and fri alot calmer thank goodness actually had two days without any teachers grabbing me in the playground. The one to one helper wasent in with DD either day they put her in another class cos she was upset.
I do realise i was right 1st time round i was just having one of those days where my head was in a spin im sure you know where im coming from.
How long did it take to get your DS DX.

Hi again! The long lists of misdemeanors must be very intimidating! This used to happen to ds - every day- and it used to make me feel awful and very low!- So you have my sympathy!! However we are now a few years further on! So here is the benefit of my experiences!
First- keep those horrid lists as evidence/ prompts when/if you need to apply for a statement. Secondly when they moan to you ask how they are going to manage it in future (managinging your childs behaviour is their responsability while she is at school although ofcourse you should support them)Thirdly and very important what stratagies are in place to support desirable behaviour? Do they catch her being good (ie ordinary things like sitting still, working, not talking)and praise her- regulaly? Fourthly can they remember the good and write that out so you can re-enforce (and its nice to have positive feedback!!)
Lastly (hugs) dont let it get you down - you need to stay up and fighting so take care of you!!

Hi Magso yes it is all very intimdating and i do get low DD has got a statement got it just before summer holidays it was only 10 hours but school managed to get it up to 15 hours but are requesting 31 hours it goes to panel this wednesday, its really strange because last year she spent in a nurture unit and everyone there said she would not need a statement as she was quite calm and settled for the year that she was there. we hava docs on monday i am armed with my list of behaviours and hoping to get referred to other people for a DX and more help x

Good luck at panel on Wednesday!

Hi Magso thanks school also advertising for 2 one to one helpers with some SN experience to work with DD wish i could be there at the interviews i would pick their brains to make sure they were suitable LOL

Ds was first referred to the paed in November 2004 but didn't get a dx until august this year. Where we are they don't like to assess for AS before children are 7 and I didn't push as we already had the statement which has been the most useful thing.

Wishing you lots of luck for the meeting on weds

not much help imm afraid but know how you feel ds having problems with behaviour at the moment its very waring so big hugs to you xx