Compiling Home Front report and want to know what family friendly policies would help you?

[carriemumsnet]

Hi all

We?re starting to compile the results of our Home Front project we'd love some more input from parents with SN children.

Are you able to balance paid work and caring in the way you'd like to? What, if any, are the problems you've encountered? And what would make a difference?

In case the whole Home Front experience has passed you by - here's some more info about it The plan is to come up with a list of recommendations and hopefully affect policy - so it would be really great to get as many views and thoughts as possible.

Thanks in advance

1. If you return to full time study you lose your carer's allowance. This is not fair. I study full time - I do it around my caring responsibilities (so I leave uni early to meet my son's bus, then work later at night). My PhD is funded so I'm OK, but it prevents others from being able to improve their qualifications. And the government shouldn't need to be told about the association between poverty and having a disabled child.

2. Childcare childcare childcare. There's no out of school clubs in my city that are suitable for ds1. During holidays there are 6 places (by which I mean individual children) per day in the entire city that are suitable for children like him. 6. There are over 100 kids in his special school - what use is it providing a holiday club for 6 of them? The holiday club is great, but there needs to be much greater provision (we were awarded one day a week for 5 weeks of the 6 week holiday).

I'm achieving quite a good work/caring balance at the moment but only because I'm doing a second (funded) PhD rather than working. There will be no way when this is finished that I'll be able to go for some heavy academic career, or even work full time. I'll be looking for part time flexible work. There's not a lot of it.

what jimjams said in point 1. Plus there's no student loan for doing a degree part time cos you have caring responsibilities. You get bugger all.

Oh and I should add there's another SLD/PMLD special school about the same size as ds1's which accesses the same playscheme. So 6 places per day for 200 kids.

yeah, playschemes. Not enough spaces and too expensive. DLA isn't that stretchy! And if you don't have a car you can't access them anyhow.

And how dare the paltry Carers Allowance be taken away. It shouldn't be means tested. We still care for the required 35 hours a week, even those who work full time. Saving the Govt billions.

I second everything that's been said about carer's allowance, childcare and student loans.
Being able to work is also about feeling healthy and confident enough to put yourself 'out there' in the real world again when you're already exhausted from the day to day grind. I'm a writer, I know I can turn around copy quickly and accurately--but since DD came along, I've lost all my confidence. A day's assertiveness training or some kind of confidence-building group wouldn't cure me, but would certainly help. So how about some free courses aimed at helping carers see themselves as individulas with something to offer the labour market?

'1) If you return to full time study you lose your carer's allowance. This is not fair. I study full time - I do it around my caring responsibilities (so I leave uni early to meet my son's bus, then work later at night). My PhD is funded so I'm OK, but it prevents others from being able to improve their qualifications. And the government shouldn't need to be told about the association between poverty and having a disabled child. '

I have the same problem- I lost it whilst I was a stuent (well didnt get it then as DLA was awarded mid course), and I want to return to study but losing CA is a major factor against. My last course was 12 hours a week i Uni, ther est I did at night- if I worked those hours I'd have qualified but becuase it was labelled full time I didnt get CA. makes zero sense. t's not as if the Uni were sending someone in to care for them- I still did it all.

Actually my needs are like an I'm-infinitely-more-of-a-dunce-than-jimjams-but-similar-concerns version!

Childcare for us too. I want to teach, I spent 3 years doing a degree so i could achieve that and now I'm looking at the future chld;care and thinking- bugger! I have it for ds3 (SN) as his old CM can take him outside school, she will also take ds4. After school could taken ds2 but DS1? Where on earth do you place an aggressive kid with asd? But I can't afford to stay home forever: I have a severely depressd dh who will only last a few months more meically in his job so needs to go and retrain- we don't want t end up on basic benefits- so what? I want to support us but need that last year of training. Even more ridiculously its a shortage subject so I would be helping the coutry out as well.

If I could claim childcare allowance for a suitable Nanny it'd save the state money over 4 childcare placements, and be far more workable. But you can't claim for that.

What else?

Summer holiday clubs that don'twarn you that your LO is allowed to eave should they want, threfore making it impossible for you to actually use the offered place.

More flexible clinic times- ours is always a Monday morning 9.30 - 12.00. How are you supposed to fit that in around a job? Esp. as they often cancel and change at very short notice.

I don't ant to end up poor (we have no way of saving for a pension atm), we both want to wor but thre just seems to be more blocks in the way han ever. People say 'oh well we understand you can't work if you have SN kids'- ell OK, thanks for that and I'm glad I wouldn't be seen as a 'scrounger' but it's practical ideas I need, not sympathy!

same problem everybody else stated - your Carer's Allowance is stopped when you're in F/T education so on top of paying tuition fees and do all the caring around your course hours you're shafted financially even more.

At present I don't officially work - I could work part-time to fit it in with caring responsibilities, but again would lose out on Carer's Allowance quite quickly, so there's no point.

I think it's dismal that CA is taken away if you earn over £80 a week - you still have to care for your child even if you're at work 2 days a week, for goodness' sake , plus you have the additional burden of paying for childcare. Bearing in mind that a lot of the children whose parents receive CA will be very poor sleepers (you can only get higher rate DLA if your child is frequently up at night) I think it's outrageous that a bit of work or studying outside the home means that you're basically considered to not be a carer anymore.

Childcare.

Before the age of 5 you have no statutory right to appropriate care/education. If your child needs 1:1 you have no right to get that funded at nursery - it's at the whim of LEA. So effectively you lose the right to return to work after mat leave. That means you're out of the job market for five years. Then you can't get 1:1 after school child care so need a part time job. How the FECK are you going to get a part time job after a break of that long? Other than stacking shelves in Tescos? Even that they like you to work weekends which you can't do because - oh surprise - you can't get childcare.

Remember that you often the child is too difficult/medical/whatever for grandparents or neighbours or whatever. to step in. It's just you.

Agree with the education thing of course, but personally I'd only be doing a course because the lack of childcare means I can't get a job in the first place.

Oh, and for most courses Carers' Allowance doesn't count as an "eligable benefit" for discounted fees ie even though you are statistically likely to be in poverty, you pay the same course fees as someone in work. Which is illogical. If you're only allowed Carers' if you're not earning enough money why the FECK do they think you're too rich for a discount?

'If you're only allowed Carers' if you're not earning enough money why the FECK do they think you're too rich for a discount?
By geekgirl on Tue 07-Oct-08 10:35:21 '

Agree. I had to do without glasses (have terrible eyesight) for a year because of the sheer cost (ds3 broke my other pair).

Another issue (Not for mebut others) seems to be transport. Mobility is essential to access the jobs market but as fuel costs rise I am speaking to more and more disabled people who are forced into giving up the car they have either for temselves or for their child.

Fio, don't worry I got it wrong, they generously increased it a while ago IIRC.

Still not exactly a princely sum!

Wonder how the decision makers would like to earn just £95 per week.

'Are you able to balance paid work and caring in the way you would like' made me laugh! Then I realised it was a serious question!
In some ways I am lucky - I have professional qualifications (and need to do many hours continuing education a year to keep them)- but after many years of caring for my lovely son I may loose them. I do manage to work a little but it is a constant struggle to organise childcare, get to work on time (school transport pickup times are very variable) get home before my son and keep my skills up to date, and keep my head a bove water financially!
So what has made it possible to work at all? Well an understanding boss helps (both my present and previous superiors had firsthand experience of additional needs) with reciprical flexibility when it is possible ie covering extra days when I can - or doing what ever is needed when I am there). Partner (or other family sharing care)with flexible working or understanding boss is essential!
What would help to let me work more? Well reliable suitable after school and holiday care that I could afford! ( special schools do not have extended hours and most children travel by bus) The childcare would need to meet my sons needs (he has moderate to severe learning disability and autism), coordinate with school transport ( ie school transport would need to be officially more flexible), and be extensive enough to allow a working day pus commuting to work (ie not just 10-3 once a week in the holidays).
I earn just above the threshold (£95 a week)for carers allowance - we would be better off with me not working - especially once I have paid for childcare (it is routinely at least double for a sn child). However I need to get out - to stay sane and well. I feel deminished at home - mothers are often ignored but cares are completely invisable! We struggle to get our childs most basic needs met. I too feel that carers allowance should not be means tested! At the moment I would rather not claim it (sometimes I earn below the threshold)
I would like to be able to work more like my collegues who are mothers of NT children. They still juggle and rush home but have access to afterschool and holiday clubs.
The other thing that would help would be more sleep!

What I don't understand, in the interests of so-called equality, is why if my husband and I had reversed work roles we would be loads better off. We both work full time but I am self-employed whereas he is an employee. I am only going to be eligible for MA for the period of time which I do not work for once baby arrives, which (although its better than a kick in the teeth), will not even scratch the surface as far as paying the mortgage etc is concerned. If I had his job (in academia) and he mine, I would have 3 months full pay, 6 months half pay and another 6 months unpaid if I wanted it. In what way is there NOT some form of discrimination going on then?

Also, why is it that he is not considered eligible or able to take that time that I would be allowed to take off, if I were in his job, to care for the baby instead and allow me to go back to work.

Sex Discrimination Act
1975. Section 2 states

2 Sex discrimination against men
(1) Section 1, and the provisions of Parts II and III relating to
sex discrimination against women, are to be read as applying equally to
the treatment of men, and for that purpose shall have effect with such
modifications as are requisite.

(2) In the application of subsection (1) no account shall be taken
of special treatment afforded to women in connection with pregnancy or
childbirth.

I would argue that after the first three months, the "special treatment" is no longer directly in connection with pregnancy and childbirth but continuing child care, and there is no reason why a father cannot do that equally as well as a mother.

Surely there is an innate and inherent sexism in a government that insists that ONLY a mother can be state-supported to stay home to look after a child for the first year?

aaah sorry - I just realised I put this rant in the special needs section and that was not what I intended....duh. This was intended for the work/life balance bit, sorry.

Also

just finding info for sn is like a ft job!

You only have to look how busy ipsea aree to see the current system is failing

There should be a helpline for parents of sn kids giving advice on dla, ca. childcare, education etc etc etc so you dont have tp spend eternity trawlin after it

Make things an awful lot easier!

And if they do it- would they give me a job on the helpline? Ta

Good point peachy!
Getting an education for my son has been a ft job! Working when you have to go into school to change child or bring home to feed is not possible! Nothing happens automatically -leas turn down reasonable requests for support as a matter of principal. The help should be there early on - and on a needs basis not a shout loudest basis and no post code lotteries. I'm still waiting for nhs help with continance support for an almost 9 year old - I dread to think how much time I have spent searching the net and importing things all because continance services locally refuse to help children!
There almost needs to be sn advisors a bit like a HV but armed with the facts us sn families need and some clout to help us with statements , medical appts, waits for salt, dla applications behaviour medical and continance issues and respite/breaks.

'There almost needs to be sn advisors a bit like a HV but armed with the facts us sn families need and some clout to help us with statements , medical appts, waits for salt, dla applications behaviour medical and continance issues and respite/breaks; I wrote an entire bsiness proposal for a Uni essay on that topic, magso (charity obv)

But only Sn mums care and only Sn mums have the time- I'd love to do it but wouldn't knw where to start

'only Sn mums have the time'

ooos

SN mums don't have the time

obv

Hmm - Peachy -that is an idea - we have the jack of all trades background! By the time we have managed to get our kids a statement most have got part way to a degree in educational law, never mind various home therapies! Perhaps the 2 needs could be put together - perhaps I would sign up if the hours fitted in!!

Well I used to work on a helpline (for something else), for homestart and for macmillan cancer- hmmmmm....

Time, obv, would be as per everyone cold suit

Pipe dreams eh? - must ge my lottery ticket this week

We are finding a strong rural bias where we live ie no help at all.
Dh and I have to run our farm, look after a toddler and try to home educate our dd who has SN.
Trying to access information is a nightmare.

okay I am now in jobhunt situation so have Something To Say

every single job in the world has to have a jobshare option. Every single, single, sodding one. It should be the Law.