Had to ask dd1's teacher to help me extract her from the car this morning - when will this feel normal?

[Wills]

dd1 is undergoing analysis for Aspergers/ASD. We've changed schools because the previous one was AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. This one is fantastic. Naturally dd1 hates it! This morning and last night's hysterics are because she's had to move to a different table. It seems that she was too bright for the previous table. I've had dd2 and ds1 in bed with me all night because of dd1's antics yesterday evening and this morning after we'd got her into school ds1 cried for 30 minutes (he's only 2) because he'd become so distressed by her distress. 2 hours on and I'm still shaking.

Poor you . I don't have direct experience of Aspergers, so feel free to ignore me if you've tried any of these, but would a social story help? Revolving around going to school and sometimes things changing when you don't expect them to? What strategies do the school have in place to help her with the transition - visual timetables etc? If they know how distressed she gets then they should really be giving her warning of upcoming changes.

Other people will be along with more experience - I'm pretty sure Coppertop, for example, will have good ideas.

It's horrible when they cry - I'm not surprised you're still shaking. DS2 (ASD) goes into school fine most days but today he was resistant - and even that has made me feel a bit wobbly!

Wills

Does your daughter have a Statement at this new school of hers?. It may well be something you want to apply for now from the LEA if there is no Statement in place for her currently. You do not need an actual diagnosis to apply for a Statement.

IPSEA are very good at the whole minefield that is the statementing process - www.ipsea.org.uk.

School should be able to use various visual cues and timetables.

Also contact the National Autistic Society if you have not done so already.

Sorry you and dcs have had such a difficult time! Poor girl - probably just got used to one routine and chair to call hers and its all change again!!
It is so upsetting to see your child upset. Ds (ASD) used to have to dragged almost literally to school for a while in rec and it was emotionally exhausting.
I also wonder if a visual timetable would help - with a picture of her new table now. Perhaps a picture ( of her new table) to take home to show you with 'this is where dd will sit after play time' to help her get used to her new place.
Would letting her take something to show the teacher - or perhaps some small treat (like reading a silly poem or short story) whilst waiting for the school bell help?
Hope her teacher is able to quickly work out ways to support her.

{{{{Huge Hugs}}}

Aw - it will get better -really. The school will get used to your dd and she will get used to them. Visual timetables are very good and basically anything you/school can do to warn her of changes or inform her of routines etc. I used to have to drag ds to school but he is fine now (not saying we don't have off days - but generally!) {hugs}

Compared to her first junior school this one is being incredible but even then I seem to be permenanently talking to the SENCO. So far she's been incredibly welcoming and helpful - I just suppose I'm nervous about her starting to see me as a nuisence. Compared to her previous school they seem to me to be leaning over backwards to help dd1 settle in. BUT her teacher is a brand new teacher - saying that though she has 3 other aspergic children in her class AND she has an extremely highly qualified and expeirenced TA with her (the teacher that is dd1 doesn't get 1 to 1). So I must admit I was a little surprised at the sudden table change. BUT they might have warned her. She tends to simply ignore some things that don't suit with how she wants the world to be. I wish instead that they'd warned me. The table move was to move her "up a level" in terms of day to day work. Now I have a dilema... I know they have completely underestimated her intelligence level even with this move. As she settles they will gradually see this intelligence more and more (one teacher years ago described it as her "growing up" but looking back now with hindsight it was simply that at the beginning of the year she couldn't cope with the change of teacher and class room). So in the end I know they'll probably get her to the right level. But can I and the rest of the family cope with any more table changes .

There's bound to be teething troubles and I wouldn't worry about them thinking you are a nuiscence as I'm sure they'd rather you were taking such interest than leaving them on their own. Do you have a home/school book? We do and it's very useful for passing on info that children might forget to mention plus it means you can write in it when you have five minutes to yourself without having to remember to tell the teacher when you are sorting out children etc. And vice-versa!